<p>When I first started reading on CC, I couldn’t help but notice how many parents had accounts and were frequently posting, asking and answering questions. Not only that, but every parent always has such an intense and sincere desire to learn about the admissions process and what they can do to help their son/daughter. </p>
<p>I personally know very few people whose parents take such an active role in preparing them for college. For my friends and I, it’s either we find out for ourselves, or no one will ever tell us. My parents don’t have a clue about the college admission system, and they really just leave the whole thing up to me. (I’m leaving the payments up to them though, so I guess it’s a fair trade-off haha) </p>
<p>For real though, you guys are doing a great job, if your kids get into a good school, you’ll always know you had a big part in it. If not, blame it on the ad coms.</p>
<p>I’m always surprised as well. I was not familiar with the terms DS or DD when I first came here. There are so many parents here so interested in their kids every business, some are raging about rejection letters, the admissions process, etc. </p>
<p>I don’t want to generalize, but there are a fair amount of helicopter parents on this website. Parents taking kids to these academic camps, not allowing them to receive their license, always so strict, etc. I’m not going to tell them how to be a parent, but in my opinion, I don’t think it’s necessarily setting them up for success. </p>
<p>I’d rather have students doing their own research, looking what’s right for them, making decisions along with their parents. What happens when the parents aren’t there for their kid during college? Yes, the parents should absolutely have a say in where their kid goes to college, but for parents to do EVERYTHING in the college process, it’s absolutely ridiculous. Mommy and daddy aren’t always going to hold your hand, learn to be self-sufficient.</p>
<p>as a parent, thanks for the pat on the back. I think most parents want what’s best for their kids but not all have the tools or know how to find them. I happened upon this site towards the end of my 1st child’s admission journey and it was a great help for my second. Now I just hang around to return a favor or two if I can in appreciation for all those whose contributions were a help to me.</p>
<p>It has been an education, starting here and also in other magazines and sites. So many questions answered with just a post and a feeling of support. </p>
<p>I understand some parents feel if their kid is just going to their state school, what is there to know, but as some have found at, recently, one I work with, it does help to educate yourself. Students in my area were deferred from UConn because no one told them EA was a better route, scholarships at another state school and honors programs that had discounts, weren’t known by another parent. No one is going to go out of their way, to let you know about helpful and money-saving choices you might have, even the overworked GC.
Read, read, and read some more, it can never go to waste.</p>
<p>I think many people here would like to leave the college admissions process up to their kids. But to make that possible, their kids would need to be receiving sound and frequent advice from their guidance counselors – and at least in the public schools, this rarely happens. Young people who stumble through the process with no guidance at all tend to miss out on important opportunities (not to mention deadlines).</p>
<p>So parents find themselves in the role of amateur guidance counselor.</p>
<p>I didn’t find cc until my child was already accepted ED, but I have found a lot of good advice here. I really wish that I had gotten on sooner, but will use some of the knowledge gained here for my younger child. </p>
<p>In addition, this site has really opened my eyes to so many different situations, it is fascinating.</p>
<p>Although I agree that there may be helicopter parents here, I think a lot of us use CC as a sounding board. I know there are times when I want to gently nudge my kids or give them advice or just plain tell them whats best but I know I need to let them make the choices (right or wrong) for themselves…doesn’t mean I can vent a bit here - to others in my same situation.</p>
<p>Plus like Marian said, <em>if</em> they do want my opinion, I want to be knowledgeable and informed with my response.</p>
<p>Now that both my children are through the “college process,” I come here for the company. I refer to the parents on here as “people like us” – same age (more or less), same goals for their children, similar interests. What could be better? I don’t even have to clean and cook in order to have you all over!</p>
<p>Thanks, pch340, for such a positive take on this. I’ve read a number of less favorable portrayals of parent postings over the years. I smiled a little when I saw the thread title, though - it’s not all that surprising that parents would post on discussion boards specifically labeled “Parents Forum” and “Parents Cafe.”</p>
<p>If no parents posted on CC, where would the best advice come from? There are some adcoms who post regularly, and a few independent admissions consultants. But if most of the advice came from fellow college applicants, it would be a very different kind of resource. </p>
<p>Another forum where parents post extensively is Financial Aid and Scholarships. And since parents bear extensive responsibility for paying for college, and have real-world experience in financial planning, that’s entirely appropriate. Smushed, there is a limit to how far self-sufficiency will take a typical high school senior in this process.</p>
<p>Thank you pch340. With all of the budget cuts, rapid changes happening in higher ed, and the piling on of APs and ECs it would be very difficult for HS kids to complete the college application process completely on their own in a timely fashion. the adcoms at our HS only kicked into gear in Sept of senior year. By that time, it is too late for most kids to start the process especially if they are applying to competitive programs since many deadlines are Nov 1. And if they are applying to programs that require auditions or portfolios, it is definitely too late.</p>
<p>And yes, there are alot of helicopter parents. I would fall into that category during the college app process but definitely not in the rest of my kids life. I provide guidelines like - you need $xxx in the bank before you leave for college for spending money - figure out how you are going to do it. But choosing a college program, at today’s prices, is a very important life decision that will impact the entire family. I just don’t don’t think an 18 year old has the life experience to take in consideration all of the factors and variables. At the end of the day, many parents are footing the bill, essentially buying the equivalent of a fleet of cars. If I Were buying a fleet of cars, I would conduct a lot of research and call everyone I knew that was knowledgable about cars. Since I don’t know alot of people that are experts at college and I am not willing to pay for the research, I use this board.</p>
<p>What keeps me coming back, is the knowledge that there are plenty of kids like you whose parents don’t have the time to devote to all of this. In my heart, you all are “my babies” and I’m pretty sure that I’m not the only parent here who feels that way.</p>
<p>I helicopter here so I don’t helicopter my kids. I have left college selection and admission to the kids, but since I’m paying bills, I need to be a witness to their college selection process and step in if the cost/benefit doesn’t work out.</p>
<p>When it comes to spending a large sum of money or making a large investment, financial decisions should involve looking at every option and alot of open discussion.</p>
<p>*My parents don’t have a clue about the college admission system, and they really just leave the whole thing up to me. (I’m leaving the payments up to them though, so I guess it’s a fair trade-off haha) *</p>
<p>Hopefully, your parents are completely aware of how much they will be expected to pay. There are kids on CC who sadly find out that their parents have no intention of paying as much as the kids thought their parents would pay.</p>
<p>“I personally know very few people whose parents take such an active role in preparing them for college.” - I’m not surprised. CC is by no means a representative cross section of hs parents. It includes many parents very involved in the college selection process, often for the financial/scholarship reasons.</p>
<p>We’re not really <em>normal</em> here, but who would want to be? I’ve gotten so much help here and vented my frustrations so my kid didn’t have to hear it. And I do like to pay it back. I always offer to help my friends’ kids in their college searches. I have the time and some expertise. Why not use it?</p>
<p>i have been reading CC for 6 months now and I am finally feeling as if I am catching up. My son would never spend this much time researching colleges, classes, professors, on and on. Thanks CC</p>
<p>Wow…ok?? I can’t help but identify your tone as demeaning and disrespectful. I am fully aware of my parents’ financial situation, and what we can afford to pay. Finance is a huge factor of the college selection process…what do you think I meant when I said they left the whole thing up to me? I wouldn’t be picking a college that I didn’t already calculate costs for…</p>
<p>A natural byproduct of handling college admissions is learning about the world of financial aid, and how to make the best of the help that’s available. </p>
<p>Your post was both unnecessary and assuming.<br>
Also, judging from your post count, I’m guessing your children didn’t take as active a role in the process as I did, and they left the research and the payments up to you. :)</p>
<p>To me, it’s a window into other communities. I found it when my husband suggested my daughter take a SAT class! </p>
<p>I was like WHAT! Do people DO that? And then I found out some kids take it twice!!! My daughter didn’t, but my son took it a second time. Their school told them to take the SAT and the Act, once each.</p>
<p>Also a window into other kinds of kids!</p>
<p>Wow, pch340, that’s amazing what you seem to know, but rest assured, you are WAY ahead of most kids AND parents! In spite of my post count, I still have a lot to learn, and no way my kids are fully aware of our financial situating.</p>
<p>I’M not even fully aware of my financial situation!</p>
<p>Hmmmm…</p>
<p>"My parents don’t have a clue about the college admission system,…For real though, you guys are doing a great job, if your kids get into a good school, you’ll always know you had a big part in it. If not, blame it on the ad coms.</p>
<p>Give yourselves a big thumbs up "</p>
<p>…suddenly seems…“demeaning and disrespectful”.</p>
<p>I don’t know about “normal” whatever that is, but even if involved parents don’t come on CC, they do research, tours, look at reviews, etc. Some just don’t like the 'forum" style. </p>
<p>I must say, after 5 years, when I have a fafsa problem, get a weird email, I check here first before I google…and even if I google first, I MANY times, see a CC post in the list of possible answers. : ) There is always someone who had the same issue and it helps to “talk”.
The downside is that if you are sensitive or feel overwhelmed, some posters can make you feel like you don’t know what you are doing, but most are very nice and helpful. </p>
<p>At my daughter’s large city school, their AP English teacher had them and a few others, counsel some juniors at the end of their senior year on the process. I guess she felt they knew and would be listened to more than the overworked (and newer GC’s) They said some thanked them for the tips and one who didn’t listen to anyone about her choices didn’t get into any college but the one she least wanted to go too (all reach/high matches) When my daughter said, “I tried to tell her” I laughed…she hardly ever went on CC but I guess “some” of my chatter hit home. : )</p>