Thank you for your post. I truly do appreciate it because it has made me think. To answer your questions…
Weren’t there other issues for you regarding your choice of schools and majors, and your parents’ concern that you should get a degree that would enable you to earn a living? I remember that you were passionately interested in religious vocal performance, your parents were afraid you wouldn’t be able to earn a living with this, and that you were considering adding on communications. Did you ever mention music recording technology?
Yes, there were other issues. My mom pushed me to switch to music recording technology because she thought it would be a good compromise. She and dad would feel better with me doing ANYTHING outside of music performance, and with school A’s program, I’d still master my main instrument (voice) have a minor instrument (piano) like I want. When I looked more into the curriculum myself I liked the different classes they have from the music side (theory, aural skills, recitals, etc), to the technological aspect with learning about music production software, filmmaking, studio equipment, live music technology, etc. My heart is truly with music performance, but the more I thought about it I do think I would really enjoy studying music recording technology. Plus, at A they have the option of double majoring in two music majors, so I can do both performance and recording technology, which I’ve been considering quite a bit. I haven’t mentioned music recording technology on this forum, but I expressed my opinions to my dad and he was actually okay with it. He really liked it, which surprised me honestly. I hadn’t really told my mom. Idk why. I just never thought to until recently (when she asked which school I’d commit to and why).
Do you really have a strong interest in this? You never mentioned it a couple of months ago, when you were trying to come up with a second major that would give you more marketable skills.
Yes, I do. I do still want to become a performer, but having experience and knowledge of the technological side could help make me more marketable and expose me to parts of music (and entertainment overall) that I never considered before. Performance is what I’m really striving for, but learning the other stuff would really help, especially if I can’t make a career out of performing. I’d at least still have a career in music.
I have a feeling that what’s going on here is far more complicated than “his” college vs “her” college.
Yes, it is. Part of it is the fact that music is really what I want to do and when I’m 30, I will be the one who has to deal with not following my passion and wishing I did. If I fail to make a career out of being a professional musician, that’s fine. But I’ll at least be able to say “I tried”. My parents don’t even want me to even try and that’s what’s driving me crazy. All my other relatives are telling me to go to the school I want and major in what I want because I’ll be the one who has to deal with being 40, looking back on my life and saying “I wish I…” and “If only I…” and all I’ll truly have to blame is myself unless my parents somehow physically force me not to. Even when I was in 9th grade my dad always hated how I wanted to perform music. I love gospel music, but I also want to perform and record jazz, soul, RnB, and classical. I truly love music. Even the “boring” and tedious parts like vocabulary and music theory is interesting to me. Of course, everything music isn’t exactly fun, but I am 100% sure music is my passion and it would be nice if my parents (especially dad) didn’t constantly scold me or get upset whenever I bring up the topic. And of course, I value and respect their concerns. I understand the humungous risk it is. But you never know until you try! The least they could do is let me state my case. They don’t. My mom will listen sometimes, but my dad talks on top of me and then tries to use scriptures like “Honor your mother and father” to make me feel guilty. I understand their concerns, but my issue is they congratulate other kids for majoring in music or filmmaking or studio art but when I do it they tell me things like “that would be making the worst decision of your life” and “a music degree is useless”.
I really didn’t mean to be so long-winded but it’s so hard knowing the Krispy Kreme donut is right there but my parents keep getting in the way when I would otherwise just grab it and eat it. Funny analogy, I know lol. I just needed to lighten my mood a little bit.