I'm in College and I Have No Friends

College Life
1

I’m a freshman in college (technically a junior in the computer because I had so many credits from my high school) and this is my first full semester living in the dorms (I did 6 week summer semester). I go to a small branch of a very big state school, about an hour from my hometown. I didn’t originally intend to come here, I was originally committed (paid deposit and everything) to a small, private, out-of-state school, but after my parents found out they were denied for the PLUS loan (they had to foreclose on our house in 2008 and had some credit card debt–all paid off now), I had to pull out and come to this school (probably my last choice school). I’m trying to make the best of it, especially because the city I’m in now was one of my favorite places to hang out on the weekend when I was in high school. I have 2 roommates, and at first we all got along really well but the two of them have kind of paired off without me and sometimes I feel like they use me. Other than that, I have 0 friends. Most of my classmates are upperclassmen or adult ed students, who aren’t really interested in making friends (neither am I really–I’m not too interested in the social scene). I just want a couple of friends who I can go out with on the weekends. My 2 best friends are at 2 very prestigious out of state schools so while we text and FaceTime, it’s not the same. Another issue is that my parents wouldn’t let me bring my car to school (they wanted me to get the “full college experience”; they also refuse to let me go home for the weekend so I get to sit in my room and lay in bed looking at the ceiling for 3 days) except that in the city that I live in, you need a car to get anywhere, but they don’t seem to listen so I’m basically stuck within a 2 mile walking radius of my campus. I was also diagnosed with OCD, but it’s very very very well controlled to the point where people don’t realize it unless I tell them (which I never do because I don’t want anyone to know I’m a psycho) but sometimes it can make me seem a little awkward. I’ve just found that 99% of the people here annoy the hell out of me and I can’t stand to be around them for more than like an hour (eventually the fake smile-y happy face wears off when you start to get really annoyed). I actually get along better with my professors better than with my peers, but I can’t really hang out with them since they’re all middle-aged men. I know everyone’s going to comment with “join a club” but there are no clubs here that I’m interested in, and I don’t have the energy, the motivation or the willpower to start my own club.

I guess I’m not really looking for a solution (is there even one?) but more for people who have had similar experiences.

2

Why don’t you get a job? Start by looking at jobs available on campus for students. If that doesn’t work, look at what places are in walking distance of campus and try there. Working at a job puts you in contact with people (coworkers) for longer than an hour at a time, so it might be easier for you to make some new friends that way.

If you look and can’t find a job, then you might consider volunteering somewhere. It would get you out of your room and around other people.

Also sports and exercise are good for your situation – exercise is known to cheer people up because it causes the body to produce endorphins. You might also meet some new people that way, or at least feel better and more energized, and have something to do besides stare at the ceiling.

Another option is to offer to help a professor on a research project. Since you get along with professors, that will put you in a comfortable place without feeling like you are socializing with middle-aged men – you would be doing research.

3

check out this thread:
http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/1808143-having-trouble-adjusting-to-college-making-friends-top-10-things-to-do.html

4

I would just push your parents until they cave on the car thing. That seems like a reasonable starting point.

5

I like the job or volunteering option. I don’t mean to sound patronizing at all but are you sure there’s no clubs you’re interested in? From your other post it sounds like you have a lot of interests-- band, debate, journalism, orchestra. There’s not a school paper or something you could join? Also, I’m not sure about the size of the town your college is in but is there any chance of looking for social groups outside of campus? Like meetups.com or something?

6

You’re a freshman. You’ve got like 3.9 years left of college. You’ve got plenty of time. Get involved with something, because there is SOMETHING you enjoy doing and your school probably has a group for it. Hang around the dorm if you have a lounge, talk to people there. Just go do something.

I’m not trying to sound mean here, but if you think 99% of the people annoy you, then I think it’s more an issue with you than them. You need to be more open to different types of people if literally almost everyone on campus annoys you.

7

So you say you’re not interested in any of the clubs. Screw that. You’re joining to meet people, right? Pick a club that’s at least bearable, and go join. Go to meetings. Get involved in something - ANYTHING. Get your mind off you you you and be interested in the people around you. Ask them what they think about something. Anything. It’s not all about you.