Hello
I am currently enrolled at Pace University for a yr now and completely just misread my package. Although I could be in worse debt if I was commuting, I have accumulated $15,000 worth of student loans after two semesters.
High school was not the best time for me academically, and we did not have college advisers when we were applying. I had to do everything on my own, and I just applied to all the same places my rich and overachieving friends were applying to. I did not apply to CUNYs and somehow did not make it to SUNY New Paltz. And I didn’t finish my application to Purchase. My guidance counsellor was confident I’d go to Fordham but I was rejected. Come the summer I had nowhere to go so I applied to Pace after my friend who did worse than me got in. I was just so happy to have made it to college in the first place, that I said yes to all my loans carelessly, and was very irresponsible communicating to my parents about how much I needed to pay (even though they should be helping me figure this all out).
Now I’ve completely woken up. I used to have these ridiculous big dreams of working at a tv station or being the next Mindy Kaling but then I realized I don’t have the same financial support, and my parents are very conservative. Commuting is tougher than I thought it would be, especially since my mom has way too many rules. I’m done with her ordering me around, I can’t focus on my studies because she always needs something from me, and since I’m not going into the medical field and still a bit undecided I’m getting judgemental looks each and every day. She’d much rather me go home late at night than sleep over. It makes absolutely no sense. I’m just so tired having to deal with it and I’m guilty all the time and the guilt is only dragging me down from being truly independent.
Most of my friends are out in their very selective liberal arts colleges in the middles of nowhere, they don’t have to think about money and can just study abroad and do whatever they want with their education and their lives. I just feel like everyday I feel so much pressure to be successful bc I see my parents and how hard they work every single day. And the fact that I’m in debt while commuting is still all pretty terrible.
I just got into The New School as a transfer student for this coming Spring on better aid, so I should be able to pay for it, but I will still have to commute. I like the school and the people and the networking there are better than Pace. But again, I’d have to continue living with my overbearing parents who mostly just care about the latest car or getting a louis vuitton bag and i don’t really care about that life. I’m more of an artsy kid who cares about feeding the poor and saving the planet. But idk. I’m sort of realizing rn how I would probably need money for that first. So yeah, I have no idea what to do, and to be honest I’m feeling a bit depressed. I feel very uncomfortable in my own home. And I’m a completely different creature from my parents. I just got into Brooklyn College and still waiting to hear back from SUNY Purchase and Hunter. Which are all relatively cheaper options that I might just be able to afford dorming. I don’t like the area of Brooklyn College, but honestly I’d rather be anywhere else than home. I also got rejected by my dream school Oberlin College, so yeah I’ve also been pretty sad about that. Please help.
Your parents must have co-signed some of your loans. Didn’t they question it at that time? Also, if they can afford “the latest car or a Louis Vuitton bag”, is there a reason they’re not paying for your schooling?
Since you are still taking gen ed courses, you can switch to the New School for the spring before deciding where you want to go for next year, when hopefully you will choose a place that you can afford to stay on campus. Or perhaps find a cheaper CC for this spring. But definitely try to find a school for next year where you can live there.
You said you just got into the New School with more aid. How much aid? Is it really enough for you to cover yourself without adding significantly to your debt? Tuition at the New School is around $45,000 a year, so you must have gotten some very substantial aid to make it work. If it costs the same as Pace I guess it makes sense to transfer for now - it’s a better school and you seem to like it more.
But, just because you and your parents have different opinions about what’s important in life doesn’t mean you can’t live there. The question is whether you think you can get along enough with your parents to commute somewhere in the city, because as a transfer student that is likely to be your least expensive option. Many parents are a bit judgmental, and lots of college students have some tensions with their parents as they try to explore their newfound adulthood and their parents worry and try to protect them from the world (or control them). The question is - is it at the level that it’s realistically unbearable and interferes with your ability to study? Remember that 3 years goes by very quickly, and after that you have your entire life to live alone. However, debt can last a whole lot longer than that.
Remember that these top liberal arts colleges, like Oberlin, are very expensive - and most of them do not meet full need for transfer students. And even if they did, if your family is well-off (which it sounds like they might be) you won’t be offered much aid. I advise that you try applying to a few more CUNYs and SUNYs. City College accepts walk-in admissions until January 4 - so if you have time you may want to go up there on Monday. Even if you can’t make it, call the admissions office - City College was established to serve the needs of NYC students. You may also want to try to apply for Queens College and Lehman College. And look at other SUNYs, as well - try New Paltz again (just because you didn’t get in as a freshman doesn’t mean you won’t get in as a transfer), as well as some other SUNY campuses like Geneseo, Fredonia, Oswego, or Oneonta. You may be surprised at the aid you get as a New York student. Another option is to try less selective LACs closer to home - like Marist College, Siena College, Union College, or even Skidmore College. Do note, though, that those schools are quite expensive and probably won’t meet full need for transfer students - but it doesn’t hurt to try.
Please be realistic about your options: even if you did get into a CUNY college, think about how you would be able to afford living away from your parents without significant aid. Living in New York is expensive, and the CUNY colleges don’t really have residence halls.
@mjrube94 , my mother tends to shy away from honest talks about our finances. Even though I keep asking her, how much can she pay for college? communication is very hard in our family. All she told me was that I should study hard and get into college and she should be able to figure it out because she is a nurse and i’m an only child. Every time I try to have an honest conversation with her or show her my financial aid package she either leaves the room and refuses to face it. she is supporting me alone in new york city and lives with my stepdad who pays nothing to my education, just buys her expensive things bc that’s all he can afford right now, he is still being supported by my mom. My actual dad is a flake financially, and has failed to support me regularly throughout the years. i have been bad for not communicating with him for years but i apologized and have been asking again now and we are supposed tobe on good terms but even now he is being a flake. i remember it was my mom who had to ask him every time and that’s ridiculous because i was a kid at the time and he can’t blame me for that, and he should have been sending us money to support me anyway, it should not have taken so much from my mom alone and she’s tired asking him.
Regardless, my mom says she’ll help me pay for my loans but to be honest, I have no idea how much those will be per month. and now i’m scared and whenever i bring it up to her she just says, don’t worry about it, i have a friend who has more debt and only pays like $20/month. i just hate how these conversations seem so taboo. we cannot even rent our whole apartment by ourselves and have to rent out one of the rooms. Then again, living in nyc is very expensive
It is extremely expensive. your mom is doing what she can.
I suggest you just seek a transfer to Hunter. It should be much cheaper! you can then likely get a share 3/4 girls for less than $600/mo. (still expensive)
Don’t live in fear of your loans - arm yourself with knowledge. It’s better to know than to turn away from it.
Use [url=<a href=“http://www.finaid.org/calculators/loanpayments.phtml%5Dthis%5B/url”>http://www.finaid.org/calculators/loanpayments.phtml]this[/url] loan calculator from FinAid to calculate your loan payments. Most loan terms are for around 10 years. Interest rates vary, but if you have a 10-year loan for $15,000 at a 6.8% interest rate, standard repayment is around $173/month, every month, for 10 years. If you keep borrowing at the same rate, after 8 semesters you’d have $60,000 in loans, which is a $690/month payment every month for 10 years. $173/month is manageable. $690/month is not, even if you make a lot of money. (Or rather, I will say that you don’t really want to pay that much.)
It sounds like your parents co-signed a private loan for you, and maybe you have some mix of federal and private loans (maybe $5,500 of federal and then around $10,000 of private?) Federal loans do have some provisions that help you manage repayment based on your salary and the amount you owe, but private loans don’t have the same provisions.
Tuition at CUNY colleges is around $6,000 a year; even if you don’t get any financial aid, you can cover that with federal loans. If you are willing to share a bedroom with another person (e.g., 2-bedroom split amongst 4 girls) then it’s possible that you may be able to pay around $600-700 in rent (I think less than $600 is a bit…unrealistic, although theoretically possible).
@juillet Thank you so much! How much aid? - I got two scholarships and a grant that would amount to around $33,000/yr, significantly larger than the scholarship and grant i have at pace. I will still have to take out $2000 in loans per sem. but still soo much better than the deal at pace. I was going to try to apply to Rutgers too but the deadline was long past when i looked into it. I had to juggle 3 jobs this semester and had to let go of two of them. I spoke to someone at Rutgers and it seemed to have everything I wanted in a school, but I’m worried about it being in Jersey, and me not liking the area. I don’t know if I should apply yet again to transfer for a third time if/after going to The New School, or if I should just go to Brooklyn College(I don’t like the area), or Hunter or Purchase (the latter two have not sent me their decision). It does not help that I’m still undecided. My main issue also at Pace was that their theatre department is exclusive meaning non-majors could not participate, and the lack of passion and drive in my academic classes from the people there is also a bit hard to deal with. Thank you so much again. I am seriously very grateful for your really helpful feedback!
@HRSMom Thank you so much! I really hope I get in! I will be bugging them tomorrow on the phone as they have been seriously delayed with getting back to me. I originally applied for Culture and Media at The New School but also heard good things about Hunter. I do not really know which school has a better name, or if I should even care about the name at all.