I'm jealous and I need advice

College Confidential Community
1

So, I need advice.

I have just graduated with my associates of arts in teaching this may.
I am going to attend the same community college this semester, for one class
I need in order to complete my associates of arts. I am also going to take
two courses this coming spring, that will transfer over to the university I am planning
to attend fall of 18.

This last semester, was complete hell.
The first thing, that happened was my grandma, ended up in the hospital for attempting
to commit suicide. I was planning to attend this university this fall. I was looking forward to it,
and thought for sure it was going to happen. I started the transfer process last December, submitted
my fasfa, turned in all the required documents for aid etc. After, everything was said and done I checked
in with the financial aid office at the university and I was told I missed the priority deadline for grants etc.
I also applied for scholarships, and I did not receive anything.
I was pretty upset.

So, I came up with a new plan I was going to take three classes at the community college I’m currently attending.
I had planned to use a scholarship I had, as well as pell grant. Nope, turns out I did not have any of that.

I was dealing with all of this, while trying to finish the associates of arts in teaching.
I became devastated,depressed and hopeless. I felt like all my hard work, did not matter
and nothing was going right. I still feel like that.

I am now going to take one course this semester, and two next semester at the same community college.
I dislike so much, that I’m still at the same place I’ve been. I’m nervous to even start the transfer process for
the university that I am planning to attend, because I am scared that none of it will work out. Also, I applied for scholarships for this Fall semester and I did not receive anything. Right, now I feel overwhelmed and I just feel like nothing will ever work out.

Also, I do not receive any financial support (college wise) from my parents.

In the midst of all this, I’ve became jealous of my friend.
To put it simply, her parents spoil her to no end, and I mean her parents
do everything for her. This past month, her car ended up in the shop.
So, instead of her paying for her car to be fixed or herself buying a new car.
Her parents brought her a new car.
She doesn’t pay any bills, or has no real responsibilities.
Whenever, she transfers to a university her parents will help or will
pay for her tuition
She also, just told me that she has received two scholarships
for this year. (Same school)
She’s also enrolled in a bunch of easy courses, each semester.

I want to be happy for her, I want not to jealous, but I am.
Knowing, all the crap that I don’t have any financial help
like she does, and she is getting scholarships just makes me
well jealous. It seems like things always go her way, and sometimes
I just wish that something would work for me.

Am I a bad person? How do I stop comparing myself to what she has and what I don’t?

2

Also, because of everything that happened this last semester. My GPA went way downhill.

3

You need to stop looking at your friend. There will always be people who are better off than you, BUT there are also always people who are worse off.



Make sure you have a COMPLETE understanding of the transfer requirements and the financial aid process & deadlines. Also where you stand in terms of using up your Pell grant semesters (if you are eligible) and federal loan limits. Do not count on merit scholarships that you may or may not get. Discuss your need based aid eligibility with the FA office at your target college. You need to focus some of your hard work on making sure you meet deadlines and have the right paperwork completed. You should be able to work & earn dime money while taking a light load this year, too.

4

When things are rough, it is really easy to become jealous of people with more than you. Since those rich parents aren’t going to pay your way, use your energy elsewhere. Make a checklist with dates and list what is due and when to check off when complete. I also add where and how the stuff was sent because it is difficult to keep up with due dates. and completion. If possible, I include some think I can track like a credit or debit card number ans tuck away receipts.

You do for yourself what you can do. When you feel ratty, action taken on you own behalf really helps. Some students may be privileged and smart and may have gotten something for what you see as easy. A merit award isn’t taking anything from you, but may say the other student has done something well. Good for that student.

Put your time, energy, and best into what is meaningful to you. That’s where you will have the most control over your outcomes. Spend some time looking for financial awards that match your interests and major.

5

It sounds like you are feeling really overwhelmed and frustrated right now, so it’s no wonder you are feeling resentful of your friend. Rather than give you advice about limiting your comparisons to others, I would like to suggest that you seek out a psychologist who can give you empathy, support, and some tools to cope with the challenges you are facing right now. If your school doesn’t offer counseling services or you can’t afford to pay for it, check out WoeBot (http://woebot.io) which is an online service that is free for the first two weeks (and then you have to pay, but it’s certainly much more affordable than meeting with an actual psychologist). Here’s info about WoeBot: http://www.businessinsider.com/stanford-therapy-chatbot-depression-anxiety-woebot-2017-6 I wish you all the best!