<p>if anyone will read my essay and tell me if it answers the question. i’d be very happy to hear your op.</p>
<p>also if it doesnt, please tell me where i should focus more on to make it so</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.ragthree.com/forums/index.php?act=ST&f=1&t=2135[/url]”>http://www.ragthree.com/forums/index.php?act=ST&f=1&t=2135</a></p>
<p>ur essays kinda confusing, or maybe im too stupid to follow ur logic. first, i thought u liked art with the whole michealangelo thing. then you started talking about history, then you started talking about asian culture and finally, u talked about the club. im sure you had a reason why you said all those things before getting into waht you liked: asian becuse its your background, but i think you need some more details to have a smooth transition among those topics. also, it seemed like some of the sentences were “forced” (like your whole your life is carving stone or something).
is this REALLY what you liked? also, they asked for a class…im not sure if your essay really asnwers that. If you DO want to talk about the fact that you liked asian history/culture, you might want add a lil more drama like why you like it, how you dont know much about ur country, something to make it sound more than “i like this class cause im asian.” lol good luck on ur application, and the deadline is pretty soon lol.
these are just what i thought after skimmin through it. again, if there is a class, or part of history dealing with asian cultures, say why you like it and all (like wat i said above), because mostly what i got form ur essay is: i dont really like any class, but i do like asian cultures just cause im asian and im proud to be one lol. make sure you dont come off like that. if ur not sure waht type of answer theyre looking for, i can show u my essay so you can get an idea.
Tam</p>
<p>crap crap crpa, **** hwo can i turn this essay around into one that makes sense. ****ed…</p>
<p>oh man am i stressing now how cna i come up with a favorite class by tonight if i dont even have one</p>
<p>i have to agree, ur essay is really confusing its like u r describing every single class u have ever enjoyed a little bit, try to focus on one class, choose one of those u already wrote and expand that idea… GOOD LUCK!</p>
<p>iam finally done… now i can help people</p>
<p>okay, why dont u pick history as ur fav class, but say that instead of the WHOLE history, talk about the “asian” part of the history. give them a story bout how oh my god u came over to america or were born in america so u know nothing about asia, and it was so enlightening to see a class where you can find your roots. i think taht could work, depends on wehtehr ur persuasive enough and how you write ur essay.</p>
<p>okay how botu this. since i have to talk about US history . what if i talked about how we got to the part about affirmative action. and then suddenly we went over it. but i wasnt done learning about . so i wanted to expand history into a club. and i created a club and the club changed me a crapload. and history was what did it for me.</p>
<p>loll are u makin this up as u go? ahah</p>
<p>haha well the club is real but i have to dramatize it. but what do you think? would that make more sense?</p>
<p>ahem…i dont know nam, im pretty tired, if u want, why dont u aim me? so i wont have to check this thing every other min</p>
<p>and can i keep the michelangelo description? and still talk about history? is that weeird?</p>
<p>lol ur freaking out , take ur time and write a decent essay</p>
<p>ah haha you’re right, gotta cool my wits. maybe if i had done this earlier… that essay was actually for harvard and yale and thought i coudl reuse it (my favorit activity)</p>