<p>Our entire neighborhood just snickers at the guy down the block who divorced and married a very young number 2 and promptly started another family. His original children were all grown. Now he’s got one wrapped around each leg every time he’s outside, not to mention he’ll be in his 70s before they even go to college.</p>
<p>I don’t know why people are snickering…unless he’s one of those guys who ignored/didn’t support Family #1. Now, those types disgust me. </p>
<p>My dad had his 7th child at age 51 (all from one wife)…my little bro kept my dad young…and those two were bestest friends until my dad died last year. Right before they closed the casket, my little bro put in a hand written letter to my dad which surely detailed their special bond. Dad had just turned 90 two weeks before.</p>
<p>They snicker because the men are jealous and the women are worried…</p>
<p>But that is not related to the issue of kids being where they should not. I try to be sympathetic to a point, but if the child is miserable and their misery is making me miserable… I say something like “I am sure it is hard for your child to… (sit through this).”</p>
<p>If it isn’t my child, or a child i am responsible for, I don’t even hear it or see it. Other than a benign smile indicating “been there, lived through that”, I sail past. I’m happy to try to distract a baby or toddler having a meltdown if I can, but otherwise I do not hear or see naughtiness. </p>
<p>This comes from being 53, mom of three, and a former elementary school teacher. Always very glad that I’m past that age of meltdowns in the little people I am responsible for, and always will in to cut young parents a break. We were all there once.</p>
<p>annasdad, I’m glad you’re enjoying your kids, no matter their age or yours. I think the problem is when we — strangers at a movie, on a plane, or at the grocery store— are inconvenienced by noise and commotion youngsters bring, with absolutely no regard or apologies from their parents. I don’t exactly love grocery shopping, but I especially don’t like it when I have to worry if the kids are going to dash into me as they play tag down the aisles or scream they want some food until their mom finally gives in. </p>
<p>I’m a teacher and enjoy young children. But, I must say, some parents do not know how to parent. They can take on this totally obnoxious attitude that their children are perfect and can do no wrong, their children are just small adults, their children don’t need to be disciplined… and yet their children run amok. Very few parents are forthright and no-nonsense with their kids about their behavior when they’re out in public. They might be embarrassed by their kids’ roudiness, but rather than apologizing for it and taking charge, they allow it, which just makes it worse.</p>
<p>The first time I saw this was well before I became a teacher. I was a Boys Scouts leader and helping to run a “Blue and Gold Dinner” when I lived in NJ. Mind you, this is a completely volunteer program. Yet the parents brought their kids and it was sheer chaos. No one was taking responsibility: parents were chatting away while the kids ran all over the large catering hall. I’m amazed no one got hurt. The only difference between now and then is that I’m less tolerant and more no-nonsense with kids and with the parents. But I always hestitate before I say anything, and only then my focus is only on safety. I’m just grateful I don’t have to live with that noise.</p>
<p>Actually, when my guys were toddlers and I took them shopping with me, I had a lot of fun when somebody would tell me what nice grandchildren I had. I’d freeze them with a stare and say, icily, “They’re my CHILDREN!” I didn’t really care but did enjoy watching the reactions.</p>
<p>there does seem to be a difference in parenting young kids these days, less basic expectation of socially acceptable behavior, as if parents are worried they’ll hurt the’re kids’ feelings by telling them to stop kicking the seat in front of them, or too apathetic to take their crying babies out. maybe this coincides with civility in general going downhill…</p>
<p>I recall feeling the same way both before and after the birth of our children. Maybe that’s one reason folks were so surprised that we had kids. I never had much patience with kids who ran wild (other than in appropriate places, like playing in their back yard), or acted rudely, and even less with their parents. In the various groups we belonged to over the years, I was usually the strictest mom and had the highest expectations for good manners. I never said a word about other people’s parenting, but I sure caught a lot of flack from moms who thought I was overreacting when I removed my own misbehaving kids from the party, playground or pool (which happened very rarely.) Oddly, a few of the wildest kids were very fond of me and seemed happy to comply with our house rules about treating people with respect and objects with due care. Their parents seemed truly baffled. </p>
<p>On kids in restaurants: I work in a high-volume restaurant with not much space to move around in, and little kids running up and down the aisles annoy me to no end. Luckily, there hasn’t been any incidents yet where I’ve dropped a tray after tripping over a kid, but I can only imagine how much trouble I would get into if someone’s food or coffee (God forbid) goes flying onto another customer because little Jimmy turned the corner around table 32 right into my legs. (Runs to knock on wood)</p>
<p>I’ve had tables’ dining experiences ruined by kids at nearby tables as well. Either kids will be screaming, playing peek-a-boo with nearby customers (or at least pretending they are), or throw mounds of grated cheese and noodles onto the floor. Doesn’t help too much with the tips.</p>
<p>On a happier note, I love kids and can’t wait for that stage of my life. Which will most certainly be 5-10 years from now :P. I enjoy most kids who come into my work, it’s just a select few who seem to stick out in our memories the most.</p>
<p>I still love kids but have always had VERY limited patience with poorly behaved ones. It makes folks nervous around young kids when they mostly experience ones who are poorly behaved.</p>
<p>I still remember the many flights I’ve flown with my kids (both since they were 6 months old). They have always behaved VERY WELL, due to extensive preparation by me & H. Unfortunately, we would get tired of trying to help entertain the children of other passengers and generally shoo them back to their own parents. Our kids always enjoyed flights and road trips, as it was always full of fun and novel experiences, lots of time to talk, and folks smiling at them because they were surprisingly well-behaved.</p>
<p>We were always very careful about where we took them and never let them annoy others when at restaurants or other public venues (if they were in a bad mood or unable to cooperate, we would switch our plans or get a sitter). We took them to very fancy restaurants from a very young age and they knew to use “inside voices” and behave properly. They have always been very comfortable in nice restaurants, unlike their cousins who had not been exposed to such settings and not learned how to make conversation and only relied upon electronic toys for amusements.</p>
<p>We did have to leave one movie because my kids both gasped during a torture scene early in the movie that H had selected. I apologized to the manager that we couldn’t remain because it was upsetting the kids and I didn’t want them to disturb the audience, so we were given a raincheck. We met H after he had finished watching the movie & he was not allowed to select another “family movie” for many years.</p>
<p>H also married me later in his life (he had to wait for me to finish my grad degree & launch my career). He will be thinking about retiring (after 40+ years at his career) as D is finishing college. It works for us. It is a blissful 1st marriage for both of us & if anyone has snickered, they have kept it to themselves. ;)</p>
<p>This! Exactly! It just sails over my head. Really doesn’t bother me unless it’s egregious. I’ve got my own thoughts to occupy me with; I really don’t notice other people’s children in public places unless something is truly out of the ordinary.</p>
<p>I have always been a little suspicious of people who gush over strangers’ children (even when they gushed over mine, who were, of course, the most adorable set of twins on the planet). I find some of the gushing to come across as fake and a put-on, and I think there is a subset of women (mostly women) who think that coming across this way is desirable.</p>
<p>Other people’s children usually don’t bother me, I think kids are generally funny. I have been in a nice restaurant where a toddler was screaming and the parents (seemingly) so desperate for a night out chose to ignore the noise and plow right on through their dinner and even order dessert and coffee. That was pretty awful, for the child as much as the other diners. I was also on a flight once with a truly miserable, obviously sick child who screamed for 4 hours. We were in the last row of first class and this child was in the first row of coach directly behind us. That flimsy curtain was no protection, A very sweet mom from first class kept going back with treats and toys for the screaming child. Nothing helped ease this kids misery. The other people on the flight were losing their minds, at customs quite a few were telling the mom off. My nerves were raw but I felt sorry for the mom, until I came down with a very high fever and vomiting a few days into our vacation. My new pet peeve, do not fly if your child is sick!</p>
<p>I’m in my late 40s and it surprised me a couple of years ago when my boss had kids that I enjoyed holding and playing with them, but after 10 minutes really wanted them to go away. It surprised me because I had always loved my time with the little kids. My nieces recently had babies and although they are adorable, once I hold them for a little bit I am ready for their moms to take them back. I think it is God’s way of saying you are done with childraising. My oldest is 19 and when I’m a grandmother in 5-15 years, I know I will feel differently!</p>
<p>Crying babies or rambunctious children rarely bother me, either, unless the venue is clearly an adults-only one. What bothers me is parents who are borderline abusive or worse when they try to keep the children “in line.” Or strangers who offer unsolicited child-rearing advice without knowing the whole story. (Raising an autistic child will do this to you, I suppose…)</p>
<p>All babies and toddlers must be rounded up immediately and put into camps far away from society and remain there until they agree to straighten up and fly right. Act like they did in my day.</p>
<p>Except for my children obviously. They are perfect. If they misbehave its only because they’re tired or sick and you would understand that if you knew them as well as I did. </p>
<p>However all other children who dare to misbehave in front of ME are doing so only because of one reason, lousy parenting! </p>
<p>Once we get these annoying kids under control, lets do something about this country’s elderly problem.</p>
<p>Exactly. I am less bothered by the children than by their parents who allow them to disturb others in restaurants, movie theatres, etc. They’re children and are acting like children. If they’re not taught how to behave in a social setting, it’s the parents’ fault. We always took our children out to restaurants, etc. from a very young age but they knew how to behave. I only remember once having to take one of them out of a restaurant because she was fussy and was going to create a scene. We didn’t allow it to get to the point where she’d be disturbing others who were there to enjoy themselves. As someone who attends the theatre a few times a month, I can say, without a doubt, that adults are more badly behaved than any child I’ve seen! Oh, and I disagree that there are more badly behaved children around today than there were when our kids were young. The truth is that there have always been parents who were oblivious to their kids’ behavior. </p>
<p>p.s. Grandchildren are the best! And you have no idea how very special they are until the first one is placed in your arms on the day they’re born. Heavenly!</p>
<p>My child was not perfectly behaved at a young age! We took him to the family style Italian restaurant on Friday nights, you could always count on the occasional tantrum or willful behavior from someone’s child. Crazyson let out a scream once that would peel the paint off the walls, my sister was with us. She didn’t miss a beat, she scooped him out of his high chair and took him outside. H and I finished up and paid the check. He was usually pretty good, but far from perfect! I try to be understanding, but I have no patience for running around in restaurants, it isn’t safe.</p>
It is a blissful 1st marriage for both of us & if anyone has snickered, they have kept it to themselves. ;)</p>