I’m sad I haven’t found my people yet, and I’m already a sophomore. I feel like I’m wasting so much time I could be spending laughing with my best friends. I really don’t understand, I’ve almost exhausted all my resources at this point. I’ve joined the clubs, talked to girls in class, gone to eat with new people. I’m still scarred from my last semester here and find it difficult to let people in who I think won’t hurt me. Everytime I hang out with girls it’s the same thing, one of them gets up and they start talking about the other. I don’t want that, I want people who uplift and love each other endlessly. It’s been so long since I’ve laughed and it’s almost like I’ve forgotten how to. I’ve been coping a lot more with my situation but I still just hate it. I hate living with the fact that while I’m here I’m never gonna meet any friends that I can relate with.
I am sorry that you feel sad and lonely. This is a common theme here and there are lots of threads that you can read to get some ideas. Making friends and developing relationships does involve a certain amount of risk that you’ll end up hurt, but it is only through taking that things can happen. It is also hard at your age to uplift and love each other endlessly, especially if the other don’t have the same goal. It sounds like you do have people that you spend time with, though the relationships aren’t at a depth you desire.
I’m not sure what to suggest, maybe some counseling. Maybe focus on some other important aspect of college such as your studies, research, volunteer work that might give you another arena for satisfaction.
Check this out for ideas:
http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/1808143-having-trouble-adjusting-to-college-making-friends-top-10-things-to-do.html
I’m so sorry too. I agree with @NorthernMom61’s advice to see a counselor. It’s not healthy for you to stay in such a negative situation for too long, so you need a little boost to try to help you resolve the situation a little quicker.
This might not be the answer that you want, but from my experience, getting a group that close to eachother would be extremely rare, even in college. I’m currently a sophomore as well, and I’ll tell you right now, even I don’t have a group as close as that. We all hang out with eachother occasionally, but we’re all also independent as well. That independent part is kinda what college is all about. I mean of course it would be nice if you could have a group of friends who all knows eachother and are all super close, but getting one of those groups together isn’t gonna be easy, especially when people in your group might have different interests or just want some space to themselves. The easiest way to get that super tight knit group imo would be to join a frat/sorority, but even then, there will be some talking behind eachother’s backs.
If you wanna develop stronger relationships, maybe it would be best to try and do it with one friend at a time rather than just hanging out with a group of people. Quality over quantity.
Other than that, I don’t really know what to tell you besides to just keep your head up and keep trying, cause eventually you’re bound to meet someone that you can relate with.
I’m going to tell you something that maybe nobody on here will tell you - its okay not to have friends in college. If people tire you, if you find more enjoyment putting your feet up and watching Netflix cozied up in a warm blanket rather than being at a party or something, then you might just enjoy your own company. College isn’t the be-all-end-all and you don’t have to have friends in college. Heck, I choose not to have friends just because its easier. That doesn’t mean I dread social interactions - I actually work a retail job and am very talkative in class normally.
I’m a Sophomore currently too, and going to a college in a small town, there is very much a small town mentality here. Being from overseas, it can be very alienating sometimes, but then I also think to myself how taxing it must be for some people and not to have any time to yourself. Especially if you are focused on school and work. Nevermind friends, just focus on you. That might be selfish, but find something you enjoy, it doesn’t have to be with people, it could be but it doesn’t have to be.
Essentially - find an outlet. It doesn’t have to be people, it could be painting, could be sports, playing with technology, heck get a pet if you can! Pets don’t judge, if you just want somebody to talk to, or start keeping a diary, or even a video diary!
I would still reccomend seeing a counselor if you can, but like I said, college isn’t the be-all-end-all of things. Come on here just to talk/vent if it helps.