Hi, I apologize in advance because I know that this is very sob story-ish.
So, I’m an international student and I applied to 11 schools and got accepted into all of them. To be honest, I was so positive during the entire application process but I don’t feel that way anymore. I got into Tulane U, NYU, Boston U, Indiana U etc but I was informed by my parents that due to certain circumstances, we cannot afford any of them(even with the scholarships awarded). They were very sorry and even encouraged me to still accept the offer from Tulane(since it was my first choice and offered good scholarship money) but I know that a big loan for undergrad is not the wisest decision(plus, a big study loan is probably not possible in my country). Everyone keeps telling me to be happy and proud but honestly, I feel terrible. I can’t help but feel that this only made me feel like I got so close to getting what I wanted but still couldn’t succeed.
The only universities that I can afford without loans are my safety schools(SUNY Buffalo, UMass Amherst and a few small LACs) and I’m probably going for SUNY since it’ll be the cheapest and it has a nice engineering department. I know that none of them are bad but I am having a hard time convincing myself to just be happy and grateful.
Now I can’t stop thinking about how I should have retaken the SATs or worked a little harder on my essays or scored better at school exams. Since this was my gap year, I can’t take another one. I keep convincing myself that I’ll transfer to another school if I don’t like it at Buffalo but I know that I’ll probably end up disappointed once again since it’s pretty rare for transfer students to a get a nice financial aid package from a prestigious university. I’m so frustrated and angry at myself and I feel very stupid for crying over this but college is very important to me. I know I’m not being very mature about it so please help me get myself together.
TLDR: I had to settle for my safety school because of my financial circumstances and I’m very sad about it.
I’d love to hear anything comforting or a similar story or whatever you’d like to say. Thank you!
You’ll be an engineer regardless of what school you got the engineering degree from. Do you want to be an engineer with the ability to buy a house and a car? To start a family?
Or an engineer who has to pay hundreds or thousands of dollars a month in order to get out from under massive loans?
You’re making a smart decision. Go in with the attitude of making the best of your education. Get internships. Do research. Become a tutor. Join an engineering team as an extracurricular.
I went to my in-state public university safety because my family couldn’t afford the LAC of my dreams. It turned out great and I have no regrets. Go in with the right attitude and you will do fine.
What’s the price difference between U Mass and SUNY-Buffalo and were you accepted to Honors Program at either or both? The reason I ask is that U Mass Honors is very good with dedicated Honors residential housing, great food, and access to four other quality LACs within the consortium. If the cost difference is close, it might be worth a second look.
You got into some great schools and by the looks of it you’ll be an exceptional student wherever you attend. I live in New York and our SUNYs and CUNYs are all wonderful schools that will give you a bang for your bucks. When life gives you lemons make lemonade! So start squeezing kiddo you’ll be just fine.
@mamaedefamilia I got a $11k/year scholarship from UBuffalo and a $12k/year from UMass. I (stupidly) didn’t apply for the SUNY Buffalo honors college because I wasn’t really considering it but I’ve been told by a friend (who is currently in the Honors Program) that I have good chances of getting in later, so hopefully, it’ll be fine. I didn’t get an invitation from UMass. I know that UMass has a better reputation but it already costs a few thousand dollars more than SUNY and I think the dorms for honor students are even more expensive than the regular ones. Should I rethink my decision? Their biomedical engineering program is fairly new and unaccredited so I wasn’t too sure. I was leaning towards UMass but tbh, the difference isn’t very small when I convert it into my currency. Thank you so much. I’m glad that it turned out so well for you
You are one of a ton of people who end up choosing a school for financial reasons. The good news is that you have affordable options at schools that can get you where you want to go in life. Be happy and proud of what you have accomplished, be grateful for the scholarships that you have received, and make the most of your college years.
@zointhesky If the extra cost of U Mass Amherst poses a hardship for your family, I would choose Buffalo. It’s a good school and I’m sure you can realize your goals there! I hope you have a fantastic four years!
My daughter got into Cornell, Boston U and several other universities – all with scholarship offers – but for financial reasons, she wound up attending the University of Minnesota-Twin Cities. Her friend from high school who graduated a year before her got into Cornell, Vermont and other universities, but for financial reasons she wound up at the University of Georgia. This is very COMMON.
You will find many top-notch students at Buffalo. That university is very highly regarded, and will prepare you well for your career.There will be plenty of academic challenge, and lots of opportunities to get involved, do research for professors, take on leadership roles, or whatever else you want to do. In the summers you can seek out research opportunities at some of the other universities you wanted to attend, or complete internships in your city or country of choice. You are making a wise decision to go with what is actually affordable and avoid debt! Also, choosing an accredited engineering program is important.
Make the most of the university you attend, and don’t think about the choices that were out of reach financially. Life is like that. We would all love to live in a $10 million mansion like celebrities, but not everyone can afford that lifestyle. Instead, we make the best of what we can afford, whether it is our education or house or car or all the other major purchases you will face one day.
Hello. I have created an account to comment on this thread. When I was a junior in high school I was in my school’s book club. We had a kid in the club who was real good with words. He was on Academic Decathlon and was just smart. Anyway, he applied to Harvard. And woo! He got accepted. I was amazed, truly. I was never a good friend of his, he was simply a member in the club I was in, but when I became a senior, I saw an ex-club member and asked how the guy who got into Harvard was. I was incredibly disappointed to find out that although he got accepted to Harvard, he could not attend for financial reasons, so he ended up studying at a community college. I understood, you know, we come from a poor area, went to a poor school, on the DREAM Act, etc., but damn. I was pissed off for him. And that is when I decided that no matter what I do, I should not feel ashamed or sad of where I go (at the time I had ruled out community college) because, ultimately, if he was OK with not going to Harvard and going to a CC, then why shouldn’t I, the one who Harvard would never even consider, be dejected over going to a CC? And he was happy. Saved him lots of money. He is still getting that degree regardless of uni attended. Not sure where he is transferring to now, but it was not the end of his education. Anyway, I’m transferring next year, and your question has nothing to do with community colleges, but that could be an option too, idk, it just reminded me of that guy. But yeah, if you applied to these schools, it is because you deemed them fit as backups. You yourself were willing to go there since you applied, correct? They are possibly your last choices, but amongst your choices either way. It is OK, zointhesky. Go to the school that won’t leave you in the most debt, if you must. Go there, work hard and get lots and lots of experience via internships, etc. I second what bodangles said. And hey, you can always get a Master’s at your dream school or such.
Side note, another international kid from my high school got a full ride to Harvard. Similar stats as the guy from my book club. But not everyone can and that is all there is to it. One did, one didn’t. Don’t beat yourself up for what has happened. There is only so much financial aid, I suppose.
I wish you tons of success and I truly hope that you will be happy wherever you end up going. Get that degree, my dude, and do not falter. Cool off though, let the sadness and disappointment lessen and make your final decision with a clearer mindset.
¡Buena suerte!
Keep telling yourself, every day, “I’m one step closer to being a happy engineer, with a happy future and a happy family.” I know your family is proud of you and you have the drive to do it!
SUNY Buffalo is a very good school. UMass Amherst is also a very good school. In four years you will be a happy graduate with a grin from ear to ear and no debt. You can succeed very well with a degree from either of them.
