<p>Wonderful advice by all. Educate FA, send e-mails to all relatives, emphasizing the honor you’ve received by being accepted to Williams.
Your FA doesn’t want you to be far from home and lose the cultural background, IMHO.</p>
<p>As I see it, there are three things to consider.</p>
<ol>
<li> As it stands now, will your parents permit you to go to Williams? If yes, then you won’t need to actually sell them on Williams to the same extent as if the answer is no.</li>
</ol>
<p>In other words, you will need their permission, you will not need their blessing. It would be nice to have their blessing, but that may be impossible to obtain–and therefore unwise to try strenuously for. </p>
<ol>
<li><p>If the answer to #1 is yes, then it seems to me that your main objective is just to be the most reassuring and understanding child that you can be, without compromising your goals in life. This would include planning now for how you will stay in touch, addressing the concerns that any parent would logically have, as well as any of their particular concerns.</p></li>
<li><p>#2 will involve enhancing your own sensitivity and empathy for their perspective. If I could make a comment on your post: it was perhaps not the best timing to wake your dad up in order to deliver the news that you knew would be at best equivocally received, if not actually considered unwelcome. And your parents have actually lost a child? I am very sorry. That will also require extra sensitivity on your part.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>I would recommend avoiding arguments. You don’t need to respond to every jibe or critical and/or uninformed comment. Continue to listen to reasonable comments, to be loving and supportive in every possible way, without necessarily responding to provocative comments.</p>
<p>The next few months may turn out to be a great test of your self-control, but also a great opportunity for personal growth–and for creating the foundation for a perhaps different but still highly constructive relationship with your parents for the rest of your and their lives.</p>
<p>Have you visited?</p>
<p>Whether or not you have a “right” to be angry, you showed good judgment by venting it here and not at your father. As my son would say No Good Would Come Of It! The advice above is excellent. Are you prepared for long cold winters? Is financial aid a huge issue?</p>
<p>Your father should be proud of you and ashamed of hiimself for his attitide.</p>
<p>Congrats Daikon!!! </p>
<p>Getting an EW from Williams is a huge deal and I hope you’re able to step away from the family situation and celebrate your accomplishments. Being the child of immigrants who don’t fully understand every aspect of the culture into which they’ve moved their children can be a real challenge at times, and this is one of those moments for you. Clearly, when you told your dad your wonderful news, you weren’t expecting this kind of reaction. But it IS wonderful news, and the fact that your dad doesn’t get it right now doesn’t diminish how pleased and proud you are entitled to be with such a great outcome for years of dedication and hard work.</p>
<p>I want to second ADad, whose questions are significant. Please let us know if your father’s reaction means that you might not be able to attend Williams. You deserve advice that is tailored to your situation.</p>
<p>Congratulations!</p>
<p>
You need to find out what the heck this means. Is your family getting public assistance? Section Eight housing? Or did your dad just throw out some crazytalk as a shocked reaction to your choice? </p>
<p>If your leaving will impact the family’s ability to keep their current residence, or put them in great financial hardship, you have some tough questions & serious planning to get cracking with right away. Enlist the help of a knowledgable counselor or family friend , so your dad is really LISTENING and not just reacting. It could all work out very well, so don’t lose hope.</p>
<p>Do you have a good Guidance Counselor who could help you sort all this out? He/She might be able to talk to your dad, as well as sort through these other issues.</p>
<p>congratulations on winning admission to a superb liberal arts college. </p>
<p>Are you clear that the assets of a small college are the things you value in your undergraduate education? (I personally think highly of LAC preparation for grad school and for life.) </p>
<p>There is some hard data on the PhD outcomes from many smaller LACs in sciences being exemplary and plenty of data about the value of small labs and intimate relations with mentors. For a foreign born student, mentors in the USA could be a great support. </p>
<p>Try not to focus in winning your parents blissful approval and try to reduce your need for their blessing. Parents can really be irrational when we hit our own limitations or are scared about something. Be patient, and present optimistic factoids for them to consider. There are plenty of things to be positive about regarding Williams. </p>
<p>good luck with your spring and the decisions you face. it is an honor to have such an excellent option and we are happy for you.</p>
<p>I agree that you should be diplomatic and try to educate your dad. But in the end please follow your dream!!! As much as parents love their children, they do not always know what is best for them, especially as they reach adulthood. One example from my life, when I was about your age my father got really upset with me because he learned that I was taking calculus instead of home economics. He said, “Who’s going to want to marry you if you can’t cook?” He was a very traditional man who was raised in the South. I, of course, continued with my calculus and am now happily married. Incidentally, my husband does a lot of cooking! Please trust your own judgment and don’t feel guilty for following your dream. It is not your job to make your parents happy!</p>