<p>Son got in at an all boys school. We had visited; liked it; and we know some families whose sons go/went there. I spoke to one mom 2 days ago. She told me about her son’s experience (mostly positive) but she said “there’s just a certain atmosphere at an all boy’s school you don’t get at a coed school.” I asked her to elaborate, and she said a teacher was tired of one boy who routinely slept in on Saturdays instead of going to class. So he a) brought the class to the kid (they all met outside his room) and b) pulled the boy over his lap and pretended to spank him. She thought it was funny. I didn’t.</p>
<p>I am horrified. The thought that a teacher would feel it’s ok to touch my child is unacceptable.</p>
<p>Well, personally, I think kids need some physical discipline, at least every once in a while. But it almost sounds like the teacher you mentioned above had sexual connotations in her actions. However, the actions of one teacher shouldn’t exemplify the school as a whole.</p>
<p>My bad, I completely misread it. I thought the “she” in your original post was referring to the mom, not the teacher. Anyways, considering that it’s a male teacher, the sexual connotations could be even more serious.</p>
<p>In all honesty, that’s just flat out awkward.</p>
<p>i was in public school up until high school and the biggest problem once middle school hits is that kids realize that teachers really can’t do anything to them if they misbehave. my school didn’t have separated classes so i was in classes with the whole scope of the student body even the bottom of the barrel and these kids really disrupted class and ****ed off the teachers but all they could do was sit there and maybe raise their voice a little at the kids and tell them to go to the office… but the next day they’d be back doing the same thing. I think corporal punishment needs to come back because our public schools suck just for this reason and you seem like the kind of wussy parent who made it go away- nothing against you personally but i just feel really strong about this because i showed up at catholic high school in the honors program and was way behind the kids who had separated middle school classes in terms of overall knowledge… i didn’t even know what a thesis to a paper was for crying out loud. So i think you should suck it up and stop making our country into a bunch of unfocused, uncontrolled people like your mindset is indirectly doing</p>
<p>^The problem lies in the fact that the male teacher intruded the student’s room and pretended to spank him. If he bursted in and started whipping the crap out of the kid, that would support your supposed argument of ‘corporal punishment.’ But when a teacher goes into a student’s room, puts the kid on his lap, pretends to spank him, and laughs about it, that would be suggesting something completely else, wouldn’t it?</p>
<p>I’ve heard of prep school teachers going to the dorm to meet in the kid’s room before–I actually think that’s not a bad consequence for repeated sleeping in. However the pretend spanking is just ishy. We weren’t there and don’t have the full context, but as a teacher, both common sense and lots of in-service training over the years has embedded in me that touching kids like that is absolutely taboo. Anything more than a brief, encouraging touch on the shoulder or arm is too much touch once a kid is a teenager (it’s hard not to hug the little ones when they run up and wrap their arms around you. )</p>
<p>Sounds like the teacher is a fan of “The Office”. I think it sounds like a case of bad judgment. I don’t read into it and I don’t think it reeks of anything dark and twisted. Just a stupid move on the teacher’s part to appear hip and popular. I wouldn’t rule out this school based on this, nor would I hesitate to send my son there.<br>
Please don’t say where this took place. No need to stigmatize a whole school because of the actions of one (very) immature teacher.
zp</p>
<p>Find out how the school handled the incident. It sounds inappropriate to me because the teacher humiliated the student in front of his classmates. I think you can ask the school directly so that you can get an answer that is not based on rumor. It was probably a misjudgment from an inexperienced faculty member.</p>
<p>I think it’s gossip. If you have a concern about the school, raise the issue with the school’s administration, not an anonymous message board. You may find that the facts of the incident differ from the story you heard. The teacher involved may not be at the school anymore. I would not rule out a school I otherwise liked on the basis of gossip.</p>
<p>^very fair. Good idea.
The only reason I gave it any credence was the source – another mom – who said this happened in front of her son. Maybe he’s the one making it up – who knows. No – I won’t rule out a school because of an alleged incident. I guess I was hoping for less vitriol directed at me (I didn’t know I was the cause of everything that’s wrong with our country – wow – what a responsibility). And of course I’m not going to mention the school. If I was going to, I would have done so already.</p>
<p>I guess I was just hoping for thoughts and insights from intelligent concerned parents who frequent this forum. You said it well. Thanks</p>
<p>I do think you should ask more questions. It might well be exaggerated or a rumour–but the excuse that the teacher was inexperienced or used poor judgment would raise big red flags for me. Teachers get training all the time, on the job, on “safe touch”–so even a new teacher should know better. If the school isn’t providing that kind of in-service training, I’d be very hesitant to send my kid there, to be supervised by those teachers 24-7. </p>
<p>Just sayin’…and my apologies to the teacher out there if it’s all just a big teenage boy fabrication.</p>
<p>For repeatedly sleeping in instead of going to class? The teacher should have gone into his room and thrown a bucket of ice water on his head. I wish someone would do that to my son. If I didn’t have to deal with the sheets and mattress, (or being murdered in my sleep in retaliation) I’d do it at home! :)</p>
<p>The teacher should have gone into his room and thrown a bucket of ice water on his head.</p>
<p>LOL! Actually, my dad did that to my older sister once. But a slightly differently scenario. She was 15 at the time and sneaked out of the house one night. When she was trying to get back in, my dad (the 'rents room has a balcony overlooking the front yard and it’s next to the main door), who had been lying in wait since she left, poured a bucket of ice cold water on her. Her scream woke us all up. Then my dad went downstairs to unlock the door, took a picture of her face (still hanging on our fridge door), and she (and the rest of us younger sibs) has never tried to sneak out of the house ever again.</p>
<p>So it works! (Then again my dad is big, gruff, and ex-military…)</p>
<p>Classof2015, stories often grow in the telling. Dorm rooms aren’t built to host a crowd, so perhaps only the first 4 or 5 boys saw anything. A statement such as, “are you a little boy, that I should spank you?” could grow into a story. </p>
<p>I’d be more concerned that a student saw nothing wrong with repeatedly sleeping in, and missing class. As far as I know, that is Not an Option, unless you’re signed into Health Services. There’s more to this story than you’ve heard–and you should ask. Students can be DC’d for skipping class, or for not being where they’re supposed to be. Had the other teachers given up on the student, and the teacher’s visit to the room was an effort on that teacher’s part to salvage that boy’s boarding school career? </p>
<p>Teachers can enter students’ rooms. They are supposed to knock (as far as I know.) That’s why students don’t knock. A student’s room can be searched by faculty. In many schools, students can be expelled for a naked flame in the dorm. (No one wants a dorm to burn down.) If you send a child to a boarding school, you should be comfortable with the school’s honor code, or code of discipline. A sign that discipline isn’t respected at the school should be investigated before you choose to send your son there.</p>
<p>So, that was the long answer. To shorten it, I’m not concerned about whether or not a teacher might have touched a student. The story you heard is too far removed from the event to be proof of anything. I am concerned that a student (reportedly) felt free to thumb his nose at the teacher, the school, and his fellow classmates.</p>
<p>I agree with Periwinkle - well said. I know at my son’s (all boys) JBS oversleeping class is NOT an option. The boys sign in for breakfast, the floor leader does room inspection between breakfast and 1st period and students are not allowed to lay abed. Period. </p>
<p>The boys are respectful and follow the rules or there are consequences - but those do not involve spanking or humiliation.</p>
<p>The other concern I would have - albeit it could be tangled up in a wrong story - is the humiliation of the boy in front of his peers. There is no good end result to something like that. It is bullying from an adult.</p>
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