Sorry about your loss.
Think about - what is it about me I can tell them that they would want me on campus.
You are coming off like a therapy appointment - but would you being sad make them want you on campus?
You can write about anything - a student near me got into Yale with the exhilaration of waiting for a Papa John’s delivery. Another wrote about the yellow fuzz on a tennis ball. My daughter (no idea if good but she got into some fine schools including a top LAC) wrote about tea.
You could write about your interest in medicine but you don’t need to.
You should tie whatever subject in a way that they can learn about you. If your father’s death has meaningfully impacted you in a way that can show you can contribute to their campus, then you’ll find a way.
But this is about you - not your parent’s death - and unless the question is tied to why you want to be in medicine - you don’t need to go there at all.
You can write about anything- like why the NY Jets football team has caused me a life of frustration…
really, anything.
This may not be the right thing to write about.
As far as messy, maybe don’t write - but write down random sentences that you can organize and then analyze and tighten up later.