Thanks for the feedback, I really appreciate your honesty. I totally understand what you’re saying, and the main point thing I’m trying to work on is actually trying to make sure the essay isn’t focused on the loss itself.
My goal is to use that experience as a starting point to show how I’ve grown in terms of resilience, maturity, motivation, how I’ve changed the way I approach life, etc and want the essay to reflect the mindset I developed after going through that and how I carry that into everything I do now.
Still working on the balance, but I definitely want it to be about who I’ve become, not just what happened.