Exercise is a great suggestion, if you aren’t already doing it. It has saved my sanity more than once.
I know an accountant who works part time from home. Is that something you would enjoy, or do you prefer getting out and going to an office?
The only thing is the “your own business and work from home” might not give Conmama the people contact she seems to be craving a bit. But if you work part time from home, you could get your people fix from a volunteering stunt or two!
I think a temp agency is also a great idea - even if for short term. It would bring in some $$$, allow you the flexibility (I think) to say no to a placement when you want/need a week off, etc.
Sometimes it takes leaving/losing a job to realize how good we had it at that job. 
The good news is, you can probably find something as satisfying with a little time and effort!
I experienced something similar both after my daughter graduated from our home school and after she retired from her athletic career and left for college. Managing those parts of her life were the best jobs I ever had, and I still miss them. I was especially lonely afterward, because I had traveled so much with my daughter that I had been unable to commit to volunteer activities or to spend much time with friends, leaving me little to fall back one.
You have gotten some terrific advice on this thread, but there are two things I think I would reiterate. The first is to plan each day or set priorities for each day as abasket suggested. I found it helped to have some structure. To start, you might set only one or two priorities. The point is not only to have structure, but to give yourself the feeling of having accomplished something, which can be self reinforcing.
The second is to get some regular exercise, as several posters have suggested. Make a plan for that as well, so that you know what you will be doing on which days. The exercise plan will also add structure your day and increase your sense of accomplishment. Exercise has also been shown to enhance mood.
I think if you decide to do some volunteer work, I would look at volunteering at something like a soup kitchen, shelter, or children’s aid organization. I found it helped to be reminded that there were others whose needs were greater than mine, and it felt good to contribute. You might be able to do this through your church, if you have one.
I also think it’s fine to give yourself permission to mourn the loss of your job and the passing of a certain stage of your life. Just try not to let it take over your day. My daughter once told me that when she is going through a tough time, she will give herself a specific amount of time at a specific time of day to let go and worry, or cry, or whatever she feels she needs to do, but that’s it. Out of the mouths of babes…
I wish you well. These can be unsettling and disorienting times in our lives, and we can’t work through them overnight. Be patient with yourself. These times in our lives can be adventures–not necessarily fun or exciting, but adventures, nonetheless.
When I first was home with my first child I quickly figured out I needed structure and things to look forward to.
I have my accountant also doing bookkeeping, would that be of any interest? You could work on getting a few clients and work at their office.
I’m on reduced work hours right now and in a transition. I work first thing an hour or so, have breakfast, go to pt 3 times a week. I walk an hour a day, I started rosetta stone to pick up my skills again.
It’s taking me time to figure things out. Do you need to repaint any rooms in your house, do you want to learn to make better dinners, join a book club, etc
Conmama, I agree with m2ck that the depression resulting from the job loss is real. The good news is that it usually can be treated by keeping yourself immersed in activities that take your mind off the loss - I know, easier said than done. In my personal experience, the first time I lost my job (co’s investors pulled out all funding), filling out unemployment forms felt like I was standing in a soup kitchen line during the Great Depression. The second time it was like, “Heck, I paid into the system - I am entitled to every penny I deserve by law.” Go and sign up for what you deserve! The lump sum and vaca pay like the ones you got do not count as “pay” for unemployment purposes in my state.
As an accountant, you can probably find temp work relatively easy. So explore every avenue! Use LinkedIn to your advantage. Research companies on LinkedIn and Indeed. Connect with people. If you don’t have a LinkedIn profile, set one up - it will keep you occupied for a while.
Nothing was working for me time and time again.
The only helpful thing was finding another job!
Even an interview invite was so up-lifting! Funny is that I remember so many of them, even the ones from some 30 years ago. They bring a smile. Also, when these periods last for several months, you would think that you will get used to your new schedule. Unfortunately, I never was able to reach this point.
No other thing, exercise (which I do about 2 hours every single day), my numerous hobbies, nothing was helpful.
But you definitely need to try to see what might be helpful for you personally. Trying a new thing is also up-lifting. Challenge tends to take your mind away from the current mess.
I have to “job hunt” every year or two, as I am an independent consultant. I have a couple of rules for myself.
- I try to do 3 things every weekday to move my search forward. Maybe send a message to someone on LinkedIn, talk to a recruiter, apply for something. Then I usually go do something else for the rest of the day -- sometimes house chores or fix up, hiking, a movie, cooking. Sometimes the 3 things take me 15 minutes, sometimes 3 hours. But I try hard to do 3, and I also stop at 3.
- After 3 weeks of looking, if I haven't landed something, I add a couple hours of training daily on some skill I would like to build. I need professional development hours to keep a certification I have anyway. There are a lot of fairly inexpensive or free online courses. A couple of times I have bought books and learned something. My plan for an upcoming project break (forced hiatus from a client with a 2 year limit, and I am moving as well) is to get more Agile project methodology training. It helps keep my skills fresh, and makes good use of my unemployed time. But I give myself a few weeks of break before starting this -- you need to unwind sometimes.
@conmama - I feel for you because I’ve been there. 8 years ago my employer closed the research site at which I had worked for 20+ years (suddenly there were 2500 of us without jobs!) Depression, anxiety, fear, grief - especially grief - I felt it all. So my first bit of advice is to let yourself feel what you feel - your emotions are your emotions.
I felt paralyzed and sad and angry. I was also frantic, because this happened during my D’s senior year of college and we saw college tuition looming. So I found a job that wasn’t really the best fit but whose salary would definitely help with the bills. In many ways it was a terrible experience - a toxic workplace, a job that really didn’t fit my strengths, and TWO LOUSY WEEKS OF VACATION (and like you, I was used to 6 weeks at my previous job!). That being said, it helped pay the bills while D was in college, and it gave me some breathing space while I tried to find something better.
Believe me, I know how you feel. I can’t offer any great words of advice because every situation is different. I recently went through another spell of part-time work where I did have a lot of time on my hands; I caught up on all the books I wanted to read, cleaned out the closets, exercised more - you get the picture. I was getting ready to volunteer at the humane society when a new job suddenly fell in my lap.
So maybe that’s my advice: be good to yourself, take baby steps, polish your resume (I hate resumes and cover letters), and leave yourself open to any and all opportunities. (My current job came about through a connection at my first employer, and I never saw this opportunity coming until I opened my email one day.) Don’t accept a job just to be employed, if you have that luxury. And good luck!
lol…autocorrect <<< So if she wants to college unemployment >>>
Should be…if she wants to COLLECT…
The phrase “college unemployment” will derail this thread into a discussion of majors and job outlook! ha ha!
Is @conmama an accountant? I missed that. If so, it would seem that there would be all sorts of independent work she could do.
<<<
I don’t want to prove myself anymore with a measly vacation. I
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^^^this and the "low man on the totem pole can be enough to not want to “start over”. I don’t know if your H has several weeks vaca, but it would soon become frustrating if he has 4-6 weeks off, while you only have 2…of which some may get eaten up with “non-vaca” stuff. I don’t blame you for not wanting to start over when technically you can afford not to.
If you are an accountant, I think you should explore working independently from home. Set your own hours, be able to “work from anywhere” if needed from time to time. Do you live in an area with a lot of small businesses that would want your services?
Or what about something different? like property management. Seems like someone with an acct’g background coupled with an easily gotten Realtors license could be what’s needed to do property mgmt.
I THINK I remember that she was working an accounting - hope she chimes in soon to confirm this - I don’t want to lead the thread astray!!!
conmama.
Change your thought pattern.
You are in an awesome position!
You do not need a job. You want a job. You have skills. You are experienced. You have no time restraints. Yippeee!
Consider yourself a top prospect and present yourself this way. No need to “start over.” This is a move up.
When you are ready get the resume together and update the linked in account. Then start interviewing. There is nothing so great as to interview for jobs when you do not really need the job. You will be poised and confident. Go on every interview you can. It will only boost your confidence.
Look at other accountants resumes( or your expertise if not accounting) on line. Check out the latest buzzwords etc. It can be fun if you let it be.
I feel better when I start to take control. So take a little control. Any step is forward motion. Take one step and then another.
Conmama, you can do this. You can!
When I started my new job 6 months ago (after 28 1/2 years with the same company) I asked specifically about taking additional time off without pay. The new CFO that I work for (small company) told me it was no problem if I wanted to take extra time off without pay. Like you I had 6 weeks vacation and I’m now at 3 weeks while my husband has 5 weeks, but I am not letting that slow me down from making plans to travel since the CFO has no problem with unpaid leave.
You are in a position to take your time and find something that will fit into your lifestyle. Don’t be afraid to ask for more time off as I did because if they say no it may not be a place you want to work afterall!
SO much great advice on this thread. I particularly like sax’s post #31, it really hits a homerun.
I was furloughed about 21 years ago, and it was devastating. Very few jobs open in my industry (extremely competitive and took months to get hired). My husband was also laid off from the same industry, working part time as a valet parking cars, which didn’t even cover our health insurance. A baby and a toddler, no money saved, no prospects, the only skill I had was waiting tables and flying airplanes. A friend got me an interview to become a full time apartment manager, for 18K/yr. I cancelled that interview, that morning. I felt sick to my stomach to even consider something I was completely disinterested in. I would rather wait/bus tables. We cut our living costs to an incredibly low rate, to the point of giving up coffee/alcohol.:((
So I buckled down, did the work, put in applications everywhere I could, and ended up with a better job than I was laid off from–by far. Getting hired by the company helped my husband get an interview, and a job, with the same company. Much better off than we were before. Honestly, besides getting a plan at this point, I think if I were you, I would focus on feeling good. Whatever it takes to feel good. Exercise like crazy, eat well, sleep, take a health break, do as many fun social things as you can—just get happy and well. And then start your search.
Hi…just got back from a haircut…that took 90 minutes and I feel better. Boy, was I shocked to see all these responses. I just can’t you how much I love you guys! I feel better reading through them and need to read, and look at links or websites. First, I am an accountant but not CPA, I don’t do taxes. What I’ve been doing in my career isnt self-employable, unfortunately.
I do think PT with a temp agency might be the way to start,…I just have to pick up my feet. I have been structuring my days for the most part; organizing the house…my utility closet is to be envied, lunch and coffee dates with friends, I have had several errands, I do exercise. I’m still on my work sleep schedule, bed at 9 up at 5:30. I would like to change that, but it’s hard. I feel like I’m doing everything right for myself, but I’m slightly depressed and lonely.
I wouldn’t mind finding something different. I have no hobbies, isn’t that sad? My life has been filled with work, taking care of kids, socializing with friends and hanging with hubby. In my quiet spare moment of life, I used to just read or watch TV. Loved when the kids were in grade school…what a busy time of life. I’m really not a sad sack…I just really have no hobbies. I am a great organizer, and a Type A personality.
You know, I’ve been wanting a blepharoplasty for a year, maybe this is the time to do it…can recover without worrying about work or vacation time.
I know I have to figure this out. But you don’t know how much it means to read your responses, support, opinions and recommendations. This has been quite the year. Have you seen that game on FB about What is your Song? Well, mine came back I Will Survive…haha.
Oh…a couple other things. I did go ahead and apply for unemployment, why not? I figured it would give us a little extra and it would push me to try to find a job…except now I don’t think I want full time. I’m assuming I can just do that online through Monster if I want. They do check now in my state. The only thing is do you have to take a job that is offered, even if you don’t want it, to continue benefits?
My hairdresser was telling me about a children’s services organization that many of her clients belong to. I went ahead and filled out the contact info to find out their next informational meeting.
I agree volunteering at the old school might not be the thing to do…too much nostalgia and I need to move forward.
“The only thing is do you have to take a job that is offered, even if you don’t want it, to continue benefits?”
No. But if you reject a reasonable job offer, the unemployment bennies will have to end.
When I was about to get a job offer from hell while I was feverishly working on a very good lead, I made sure to negotiate something that they could not put in the offer… And that offer never happened as the result. But I never technically rejected any offers because those were pre-offer negotiations.
How does unemployment know if you were offered a job?
Every week, as you log in to fill out bennies request for the prior week, you have to answer a Q, “were you offered a job and did you take the job?” That’s how it works in WA. I would not lie on this type of applications (or any applications).
I find LinkedIn has better professional job listings than Monster. Just a tip.