Late to this thread, but just wanted to say hang in there. My husband was laid off in 2013 (big shout out to the defense/engineering industry!) and it was so hard for both of us. Weird for him to not have a schedule, weird for me to return to work full-time (I worked 3 days a week but bumped it to full-time) and just hard to watch him pull it together to plunge into a job search and start all over in his 50’s. He did eventually find work and is doing great but it slowed down our play fund and just our ability to make solid plans for awhile. I feel your pain of having the fun fund removed.
He did find that following some structure and a schedule for the day helped a lot: exercise/walk for an hour; throw in a load of laundry; network with existing friends/colleagues; put in at least two apps (this is soooo time consuming even thought it is all online); take a lunch break, wrap up some emails and then STOP working for the day. I am proud that he used the time to visit his parents extensively and it turned out to be such a blessing because his Dad passed away soon after. He would’ve never been able to take 2-3 weeks off at a time to just be with his parents while he was still working.
Anyway, I ramble now…but you will find your groove and your next step in time. But it is definitely a process.
I’m late to this party but just wanted to add that it takes time to find your groove. You are still mourning, and that’s to be expected. There are good suggestions on this thread but you need to figure out what works for you. Try something and, if it doesn’t work, try something else. There’s no timeframe, and you’re not required to like the first thing that you try.
Someone close to me was let go yesterday. He was close to tears. I know it took a lot for him to hold it in. It is hard to just shake it off when we identify ourselves so much with our jobs. It is lost of identity sometimes. All this is to tell OP it is ok to feel bad and a sense of lost when you are let go. It can feel almost like death sometimes. Allow yourself sometime to mourn your lost, but then move on. At the same time, it can also be a blessing, as mentioned by @carachel2. This is especially true in OP’s case. Maybe this is the time to develop some hobbies, do stuff you never had a chance to do because you were too busy raising your family, developing your career. It is your time now, make the most of it.
When I was getting unemployment I took a temp position with Radio Shack just for the Christmas Holidays. I lost money as four hours of work paid much less than my unemployment.
But I never regretted it. The job improved my attitude, I met many old friends when they stopped in to shop, my co-workers were great, and it was fun showing people how various toys and electronics worked. One day at Radio Shack I received a phone call telling me I had gotten a job that I had been trying to get for almost a year. ,
On the day my H was laid off years ago, I heard someone on the radio saying “Change is God’s way of preparing you for something better.”
I clung to that phrase over the next few weeks, as I was not working at the time and my H felt such pressure to provide for us and our 2 young children.
Only three weeks later, my H was working at home for a much more stable company, and our quality of life improved without the dreaded commuting traffic.
Hoping you find a better path that brings you joy!
De-cluttering is indeed big business–helping folks organize who want to but don’t know how, who need or want to move, etc. you can connect with real estate firms, senior centers, etc.
No one else has remarked on the eye surgery comment. I say if that’s something you want to do, now is the time to get it done. If you start another job you may be years away from being able to take the time.
Yes, I agree. Call right now and schedule the first available surgery appointment. Moving forward with something will also help to break the cycle of dithering – or going around and around on the same topic in your head without action – which can be profoundly depressing. Making a decision to move forward with something you want to do will improve your mood.
I called the surgeon that I like last year when I was finding out info. My appointment is next Tuesday. I’d like to schedule something soon to get it out of the way
I was at a college reunion last weekend. One woman came I hadn’t seen in 33 years, she looked fantastic and I had a sneaky suspicion. Looked at her old photos and sure enough…blepharoplasty. Her eyes are naturally more full and hooded like mine and had gotten more so with age…although not real droopy yet. She looked wonderful and her eyes make her appear at least 10 years longer. After I was comparing her pics, I though…dang! And called to make my appt.
Yes, the timing is good. I had to wear tons of make up to cover the bruises after my surgery so it would have been nice to not be working at the time. ( not much pain though). And think of the confidence you will have if you look for a new job.
FallGirl…haha…that is what I will tell my DH. My eyes have really drooped in the past 2 years. Nothing bothered me before that, but then it seems all of a sudden they drooped, so I wentbto see the docs last fall. In the past 12 months they have fallen so much…it’s strange it happened so fast. of course, I worry that something will go wrong, but I do believe I have a good surgeon. I do feel I will have the confidence I used to, I’ve become self conscious a little now.