I'm very unhappy with my college, need somewhere to transfer in NC/SC

I didn’t attend UNCA out of choice, it was the only college where I recieved a good financial aid package, and I didn’t get accepted into a lot of schools because of my ACT score of 30. Regardless of this, I went in bound and determined to have a good experience and make the most of out it. My university is a 4 year college with around 3,000 students, and officials told me this would be a good fit for me because of the tight knit community and rigorous academics. I have Autism, dyscalculia (learning disability in math), Generalized anxiety disorder, and depression, so I wanted to believe this. I tried to make friends at orientation, joining clubs, interacting with people in class, or talking to others online from my college with no dice. Everyone found their group during orientation or within the first month, I didn’t.

I had a doctor’s note describing my disabilities and that I needed accomadation, but the school decided to put me with a roomate anyway (THEY EVEN TOLD ME IT WAS BECAUSE THEY WANTED PROFIT) , and I hated it. It took them a month, and multiple visits to the school health center, for them to switch me to a suite with 2 others, and I couldn’t get along with them either. They are close friends who were comfortable with the doors having no lock, and the shower being out in the open with no door, and were constantly sitting right outside my door. I tried to stay there for a few weeks, tried to force myself to adjust- doctor even put me on a cocktail of anxiety meds to try and help me be able to live there, but I couldn’t. Dorm life is not for autistic people. I have a childhood friend that I have known for over 6 years that I stay with off campus, which is what I wanted to do originally, but the school said no, cause my tuition would have been free without the dorm fee! I’ve been trying for over a month to get a job but I don’t think anywhere will hire me because the school makes me park my car 2 miles away- even though I have a note saying I need access to go to doctors appointments. I can’t get hired on campus either.

No one on campus is very friendly outside of their preestablished cliques, clubs are largely inactive, or meet very late at night. One club meets from 9pm to 2 am on saturdays, and if I wanted to be in it, they told me I would have to come every single Saturday or I wouldn’t be allowed to participate. 2/3 of the school commutes anyway, and no one cares about doing anything on campus, not even the freshman who they force to live there. I tried to do club sports, but I’m the only beginner and don’t fit in, I don’t think anyone likes me anyway cause I’m awkward. No one wants to be my friend. I don’t think my professors like my either with the exception of one.

I’m in honors, and only taking one honors class, but the general ed classes are extremely hard, and worse than my honors class! I took AP in high school, so I expected difficulty, but not as much as I am facing. For one, no one here seems to care that I have a learning disability. I am going to math tutoring for hours almost every day except one every week, doing all of my homework multiple times until I get 100%, studying my ass off, only to barely make a C. I don’t get extra test time, and I am barely able to scrape by. I cry because my math class stresses me out so bad. I want to major in computer science, so I thought maybe my programming class would be my solace, but it is just as difficult. No one knows what they’re doing, I’ve tried to reach out to others in my class and they don’t know how to do the assignments or are just googling them. My professor is only in his office when I have other classes, and I will probably have to sacrifice some of my math tutoring time to start going to computer science tutoring because I am so lost, we are moving so fast and no one can do the work that is assigned.

I go to counseling every week, I’m on antidepressants, and I’m trying so hard but nothing gets better. I need somewhere in North or South carolina that I can transfer to after this year or semester, because I am extremely miserable at UNCA.

Is there a community college near your home? That might be the best option for now. Sounds like you need more time to transition to college with parental support.

I would second the idea of moving back home and attending a local college (if affordable) or a CC. It sounds as if you could use the support of living at home.

I think I would be able to move in with my boyfriend and go to CC, and attempt to do Bridge to Clemson, but I dont want to be hastyor have my family look down on me cause most of them went to a 4 year.

The universities have to make accommodations for you, but they don’t have to totally ignore their rules. If freshmen need to live on campus, you need to show them what you need to do that successfully. Single room? Quiet dorm? Drug free? Is extra time for tests part of your disability plan? If so, go to the services office and ask how you can get that accommodation. That should be an easy one.

I have a friend with autism and when she moved away for college she had many of the issues you are having. She did have her own room, but it was on a different floor than her ‘learning community’ and she always felt left out. She needs to go to bed early because of her medication and missed a lot of club meetings and activities. Trying to build a social network and do well in classes was just too much for her. She now lives at home, commutes to a university in her city, and it is a much better arrangement for her. Her family is supportive, not judgmental. The school she attends now has a much lower ranking than the top tier school she originally attended, and it has about 3x as many students, but it is a better fit for her.

Would your family rather you struggle and be unhappy at a 4 year college or attend a community college and be successful?

I can relate to some of the things you are going through. However, I went to my university thinking it was the best fit for me, only to find out later that it’s not so great. I’m struggling with commute, scheduling, fitting in (socially and emotionally), and I’m barely getting by to passing my classes. I’m also in computer science and it’s the same for me, no one really knows what they are doing, office hours are very inconvenient, and it’s way too fast paced.

I am currently extremely miserable and am planning to transfer to my local community college which I think is where I should’ve been in the first place. If you are truly miserable, get out of there and into a local college as soon as possible! Chances are, it’ll be the best decision the both of us will make. My philosophy is to always put happiness first. Think of what you truly want for yourself.

“No, my son, do not aspire for wealth and labor not only to be rich. Strive instead for happiness, to be loved and to love, and most important to acquire peace of mind and serenity.” -Og Mandino