<p>I forgot to add, and think it’s worth mentioning. My friend did tell me that it was the funeral home that warned them about having their homes watched if their names and cities were mentioned in the obituary. Just talked to my mom and she remembers hearing that also.</p>
<p>Everybody needs to be careful to secure their homes when they have been listed in obituaries. Obviously, your minds will be on other issues, but nobody needs the violation of a break in on top of their grief. Please be sure to have a trusted neighbor or friend carefully watch your home. At the very least maybe ask the police to add additional patrols.</p>
<p>Do newspapers publish addresses of the deceased’s relatives? Unless you live in a small town where everybody knows everybody else, I’m not sure how the thief would figure out where the family lives. There are three people that live in my city that have the same first and last name as my dad, and we’re not listed to begin with. </p>
<p>Just curious what I am missing here… if there is a way to find out where people live, I could see this being a serious problem.</p>
<p>Ema, Unfortunately, there are well known free websites that provide even many unlisted numbers and addresses. They compile public records of home sales, tax bills etc. Not that many years ago you would have had to have been a very dedicated snoop or hire a private investigator to find what is now available at a touch of a button. </p>
<p>People also put themselves at risk when they put their plans for an upcoming vacation, or even an evening out on Facebook. Ditto apps like Foursquare that tags other people in your real time location.</p>
<p>Even the ones that aren’t free don’t charge very much…If you have evil intentions you can get the info. I’m not saying it happens all the time, just that it is a risk factor, and given the circumstances not a good time for the bereaved to have to deal with it.</p>
<p>We got robbed while on vaca one year, by people we knew, who knew we were going away. They knew my son’s… Think about how many people your family knows, and how many people they might mention the services to. Suppose Tom tells Jack about it and Jack is planning to attend, so his co-worker, or roommate or whatever knows. Is his co-worker a good guy? Does he know people who are bad guys? People talk…The flower delivery guy? The flower shop order taker? </p>
<p>It is much like going on vacation, as someone said, and you have to take extra precautions. Also, with funerals, often the neighbors attend, making that much easier to break in un-noticed.</p>
<p>Until you’ve been hit by a theft, you don’t really understand how it feels.</p>
<p>Folks, you can choose to live in fear or not…personally, I choose not to live in fear.</p>
<p>I had my car broken into recently. It was parked at my home, in my driveway. There was nothing visible inside the vehicle to encourage someone to break it. They stole the entire contents of the center console, which was a few receipts and a $5 cell phone charger, and nothing else. It was a random occurance and one that nobody could predict - and there was little that I could do to prevent.</p>
<p>After that, I checked the crime records and found that 35 homes or so within a 1 mile radius have been robbed in the last year! Certainly not all people while attending funeral homes.</p>
<p>By owning a home, or renting a home, or otherwise living in a home, you’re a target of theft. It might happen. You can constantly think about how to protect your home when you’re away, or you can lock your doors when you’re gone and not worry about it.</p>
<p>For a period of time, we had a security alarm. It turned out to be a nusiance - I was calling the company to repair it all of the time & it was giving false alarms. I decided that I would take the chance of the house being robbed rather than to have to constantly fix and worth on the alarm system. So, no security alarm.</p>
<p>Have a good insurance policy. Keep your valuables out of site. Stay on good terms with your neighbors and look out for each other. But, in my opinion, don’t live in fear.</p>
<p>What about a wedding? What about a vacation? What about your kids basketball tournament? High school graduation? Moving to college days? Swim meets? It’s not just funerals your out of the house for. It’s a lot of events.</p>
<p>I think there is little that you can do to prevent other kids from noticing your kid is absent from school & on vacation.</p>
<p>Growing up, my mom occasionally volunteered to ‘house sit’ for the family during memorial services. Surprisingly, she often accepted flower and food deliveries as well as offered security for the family home. Her gesture was always much appreciated. Mom felt she had paid her respects in a unique, but important way.</p>
<p>Being sensible is not the same as living in fear. In many areas, death notices are placed in newspapers, which makes the funeral/viewing a public matter and that information is provided to people one wouldn’t ordinarily share with. With regard to weddings and vacations, it’s a simple matter of prudence in not publicizing the information. Also, when someone close to a household has died, a criminal would likely be right in gambling that all of the members will attend the service. That’s absolutely not the case with weddings or vacations.</p>
<p>I don’t understand why it is more likely that some of the family will choose to not attend a wedding while clearly they’d all choose to attend the funeral.</p>
<p>Very often all of the members of a household aren’t invited to a wedding. Minor children are left at home with babysitters, adult members of a household may be invited separately to a wedding or not invited at all. That’s less likely in the event of the death of someone close to the household.</p>
<p>Facebook is not always your friend, either. Too many postings about vacation, etc without appropriate security/privacy settings can be dangerous.</p>
<p>Helping out at the home when asked can be very helpful.</p>
<p>Also, The whole neighborhood isn’t invited to weddings…Funerals ARE advertised and while not ALL neighbors will attend, it is likely that at least some will, leaving less eyes to notice what’s going on. </p>
<p>I don’t “live in fear” but I am reasonably prudent. I would also be much more able to handle the stress of a theft if it happened while I was at a graduation than at the funeral of my mother…It’s stress and paperwork that isn’t needed.</p>
<p>Take the advice or not. I think it is reasonable, but that doesn’t mean I think you need an armed guard either…just a little more than the usual care you’d take.</p>
<p>and from funeral home obit form: FUNERAL SERVICES OF DELAWARE OBITUARY INFORMATION
To stop identify theft from happening to you, we suggest the following guidelines:
Do not list detailts such as the day and month of birth (use only the year) or addresses in obituaries.
Aside from preventing identity theft, you don’t want thieves to visit the house while you are at the funeral service</p>
<p>Years ago, the house across the street from us burned down. Many people were burgled that night as the owners were watching the fire. My dad stayed home and watched from the window. I lived in a small town and we asked each other to keep an eye on our homes during funerals, weddings and vacations. I still do it now. I also remember my parents driving into people’s driveways in the winter when they were gone in order to make tracks in the driveway. This was years ago in a small town. Doesn’t always take much to prevent a large headache.</p>
<p>^^ I think the point of having someone stay at the house during the funeral is not so that they can stop the intruders but so that intruders will see that the house is occupied and won’t break in in the first place. </p>
<p>People around here wouldn’t think of leaving their house unwatched during a funeral. You must live in a different world.</p>