<p>I think it would send out major red flags if you start the conversation that you’re becoming interested in someone else. I think it should be general about LDR’s and not being able to see the other person… </p>
<p>Is it necessary that she talks about the new guy? What good will it do besides maintaining ‘trust’? First reaction from the BF would be “are you cheating on me” “are you no longer interested” “are you trying to end things” etc. She hasn’t done anything irreparable like kissing or hooking up with the new guy. </p>
<p>So I think she should focus more on confusion and how vulnerable it is being in a LDR rather than sending out signs about someone new. Example: My friend was with this guy for like, four years. Sometime in between things were getting rocky and she started having a crush on someone new. Later, it became completely irrelevant and was more out of desperation on her part for being in a failing relationship. Later on, it would’ve been completely unnecessary to bring up the minor crush. It depends on how strong her feelings are for the new guy, I think. If you think it’s just a fling or a temporary deal, ignore it for now and wait it out. </p>
<p>How long have you guys been together BTW and how long has it been a LDR?</p>
<p>Disagree with Dunning. I agree that relationships are about trust, but this is a fleeting infatuation, not a new love. Like I said, the risk that it might do to the relationship is not worth the sharing-is-caring benefits. </p>
<p>You’re biased against LDR’s, anyway. I’m just trying to look out for her and her relationship that she seems sincerely interested in maintaining, seeing as she posted here and everything. I know where she’s coming from, having been in an LDR for two or so years. And counting :D</p>
<p>I’m kinda worried. I actually agree with Pink. Yikes! :eek: If you and the temptation boy aren’t doing anything, don’t tell your boyfriend. Just try to work it out by yourself before doing anything else. And if you want to keep your relationship, don’t hang out with the new guy, because you’ll be giving temptation opportunity.</p>
<p>I have been in a relationship for 2 years and been in LDR for only…2 weeks lol since school started, but I have known my guy friend for about 4-5 months already so…it’s not like all of a sudden I fall for him.</p>
<p>I seriously can’t avoid my friend as it will be obvious that there’s something going on between him and me. In fact, I’m so scared he will know this…coz he’s active on CC too…in fact it might be one of you guys…</p>
<p>But I did what you guys told me. I haven’t been to his dorm room for like 3 days and I have felt less attraction already. Altho we met today, but nothing much because we were in a big group of friends.</p>
<p>I don’t “love” him or anything. It’s just a crush and I know it will go away sooner or later. Is it wrong to just fantasize? I only think about how it’d be like to hug and hold his hands, or even a date with him.</p>
<p>I won’t tell my bf for sure because they are good friends, and this might hurt their friendship.</p>
<p>ps. I feel like he has some feeling for me too, but maybe it’s just me…</p>
<p>My roomie spent last year in an off and on again 6000 mile long distance relationship (her BF lives in England). She felt herself falling for a guy and kept hanging with him even though he was a jerk and we warned her she shouldn’t. She ended up cheating, and as a result her England BF cheated. They wound up staying together, and are going “strong”, but I feel like it’s doomed to happen again. (She was getting texts from the local guy all night and was giggling about it when she should feel guilty).</p>
<p>So from my point of view you are either going to cheat and ruin your relationship or cheat, keep the relationship, and then never be able to maintain trust (or at least think it’s okay to do it again). If you want to make it work, I recommend not tempting yourself.</p>
<p>Basic psychology says that you will fall for the person who you keep close contact with.</p>
<p>There was this case of two lovers communicating through mail every day. they were planning marriage and everything. However the girl decided to go off with the mailman because she saw him everyday, and she only read her lover’s letters. </p>
<p>So if you want to keep your relationship, distance yourself with the new guy and stay in close contact with your boyfriend. Call him every day and talk to him as if he were right there. i cant say that visits wont help either.</p>