In the 8 days since my daughter left,

Parent Cafe
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<p>I have:</p>

<p>Given myself 15 minutes extra to sleep every morning, since I don’t have to wake her up.</p>

<p>Eaten spaghetti 3 nights in a row, since hubby was out of town, and I don’t feel like cooking.</p>

<p>Done laundry every other day, since I don’t have hers to do.</p>

<p>Read 2 books, one of which was a trashy romance novel that I am faintly embarrassed that I read.</p>

<p>Tried to read the highbrow stuff that my older daughter reads, because I feel like I should, and end up reading Sports Illustrated and US Weekly instead.</p>

<p>Went to my nephew’s football game and talked way too much about her days as a cheerleader for the same football program.</p>

<p>Became a Facebook stalker, because the one line that they put on their profile is my best clue to how she is feeling.</p>

<p>Called the school anonymously to find out what would happen if she dropped her honors class, because she thought she was in over her head on day 1, even tho she did not ask me to. (I know! I’m ashamed!)</p>

<p>Figured out that she will call or text even if I don’t call her. </p>

<p>Cleaned her room even tho I am sure she didn’t want me to. </p>

<p>Turned off any hip hop song on the radio, because she is a hip hop dancer and it made me think of her.</p>

<p>Resolved to join the health club again, and drove past it every night on the way home without signing up.</p>

<p>Realized that it was too late to sign up for a college class, but not sure if I want to anyway.</p>

<p>Spent some time thinking about what I should do as an empty nester, and realized I wasn’t ready to make plans yet, because I have to get used to the idea.</p>

<p>Missed her and her sister. Horribly.</p>

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<p>Vderon…love your list!! :D</p>

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<p>My heart goes out to you at this tough time. You’ve also inspired me to start keeping a list of those things that I can do when my son heads off to college that I can’t do now. Admittedly, there aren’t a lot, but still I’ve got seven years to come up with ideas. :slight_smile: That way, perhaps the sadness will be mitigated by the chance to live it up a little. Last fall, for instance, when my son went off to “Nature’s Classroom” for four days with his 5th-grade class, my husband and I really missed him. He hadn’t ever gone to overnight camp, and this was the longest we’d been apart. So my husband and I spent a couple nights in a swanky, non-kid-friendly hotel in a nearby city we hadn’t visited in years, went out for a late dinner at a nice restaurant and had a great time. We still missed our boy and were glad he’d be home soon, but it did ease the sadness to enjoy these grown-up pleasures. So I’ll keep that in mind for the future and perhaps plan a really special trip when my son goes to college that will help to distract me at least temporarily when the time comes. Meanwhile, I’ll be making that list of what I’ll finally be able to do as an empty-nester, though it may not be much more exciting than, “Put down the scissors and find them in the same spot three days later.” ;)</p>

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<p><em>Great</em> idea for a thread. Because it’s only been one day for me <ouch> and I have two younger ones to whisk off to an out-of-town soccer tournament this weekend, I’m hoping not to fully feel the emptiness for a while.</ouch></p>

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Me too - I love checking to see what my daughter’s facebook line says. Actually, this one liner is a good way for me to find out how my 14-year-old son is doing. (He doesn’t chat with me as much as his sister did!)</p>

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<p>What a great post, Vderon. Funny and poignant.</p>

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<p>Great list!</p>

<p>I get to see D1 this weekend when we travel to watch her play in a tournament. I’ll drop off a bathroom rug, valance for her window and some homemade snacks. Looking forward to seeing her after two weeks!</p>

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<p>Vderon, nice post. In particular I smiled at your spaghetti and romance novel comments. Be nice to yourself while you have to house to yourself. When I’m in the same boat – husband & kids away – I eat ice cream for dinner. In bed. While watching a chic flick.</p>

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<p>Vederon, I love your post
I am in the same boat as you are. Daughter is gone for almost 6 days and H is out of town for a week on a business trip.<br>
I learned to text (my D is delighted about that).
Set-up a web cam and waited for D to connect me through Skype (No luck).
Not much cooking (all semi-homemade).
Ordered several books from abebooks (most of them are related to Pride and Prejudice and are by Pamela Aidan). One arrived yesterday and started on it.
Avoided my D’s friends who are still in town (just seeing them make me cry).</p>

<p>My other plans
Watching a few Romantic Commody movies.
Taking long walks.
Yes, joining a health club (at least drive by one),
Making a wall hanging for my D’s dome room, her side of the room seems so empty (I think I will start on this first).</p>

<p>My H is coming tomorrow- cooking, cleaning and arguing will keep me occupied.</p>

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<p>Ijmom, I’m right there with you on my kid’s friends. I love them, but I don’t want to see any of them right now. Too much, too soon. My daughter said I should take on an exchange student so that I have someone to mother. :slight_smile: Maybe next year.</p>

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<p>Me too too. I’ve been stalking them all through HS too, but since I’m the only family member w/o texting (company cell phone), I miss out alot on the little announcements. Like last night when my sophomore son finally found a rental house for the school year…but I saw it on facebook this morning.</p>

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<p>Another secret Facebook stalker here… if the kids only knew, ha ha.</p>

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<p>I’m in the same boat.</p>

<p>My only is gone, house is so empty.</p>

<p>I talk to the dog alot and pat the cats more often.</p>

<p>I watched 3 CSI and 2 House programs on TV in one night. (hadn’t watched TV for about a year previously), just to distract myself.</p>

<p>Check a hundred times a day to see if D is online and if she will IM me. (She does which is great)</p>

<p>Realized that my constant complaints of the kitchen table being covered in papers and junk were unfounded now that it’s clean and empty.</p>

<p>Same applies to the bathroom floor with its lack of piles of clothes.</p>

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<p>Guilty - of facebook stalking. I am friends with 3 of the 4. The youngest won’t allow me to be friends yet - so I ask her sisters.</p>

<p>I keep thinking about starting to clean the house.</p>

<p>I want to shut her bedroom door - it’s still a mess but I keep it open so I can see her stuff.</p>

<p>I finally get to use a clean towel when I get out of the shower.</p>

<p>Definitely no cooking or laundry. :)</p>

<p>The health club is on my list.</p>

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<p>So true about the unattractiveness of everything being clean and neat!!</p>

<p>Trash reality TV is a good option</p>

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<p>Neither of my kids want me as friends in Facebook. I figure what I don’t know won’t worry me.</p>

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<p>Oh I’m not a Facebook friend either… D forgets to log out of hers, though, so I can click thru to her brother since they’re friends. Haven’t seen anything shocking.</p>

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<p>You all make me laugh. I thought I was the only facebook stalker. I love looking at the pictures. </p>

<p>I have been an empty nester for 5 days and this is the first day I haven’t cried a lot. That’s progress!</p>

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<p>My youngest won’t let me be his facebook friend either. Middle child lets me be his friend, but I have to lie low and am not allowed to post on his wall. Oldest is married, so she doesn’t care. </p>

<p>Since I returned home to my empty nest, also 8 days ago, I have:</p>

<p>Gone out to lunch with friends once</p>

<p>Gone to Starbucks with other friends once</p>

<p>Had a friend with young children come over for a visit</p>

<p>Went on 2 after dinner walks with H</p>

<p>Sent kids some long emails</p>

<p>Cooked healthy food that picky eater S2 wouldn’t have eaten</p>

<p>Baked cookies and sent S2 a care package</p>

<p>Baked cookies and sent them with H when he went to see S1</p>

<p>Invited another couple to go to lunch with H and me after church (haven’t done that in years). (They have 2 teenaged D’s, who came too, so I spent lots of time quizzing them about their college plans. :slight_smile: )</p>

<p>Played on the computer a lot</p>

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<p>Oh, I don’t have a facebook account either. Like lafalum, S2 (HS junior) never logs out on the family computer, so when I have a chance I browse his wall and also find out what’s going on with S1 away at college. They both know, and apparently don’t mind since this has been going on for at least 2 years. I don’t make any references to what I discover (learned that lesson) and I get access to info I wouldn’t normally have. Sometimes it helps me to remind them of schedule issues and deadlines.</p>