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<p>Ew, the families that regularly go to Hooters aren’t particularly families that I care to associate with. If you haven’t noticed, the food is terrible and the whole thing is rather tacky and cheesy.</p>
<p>IMO, when we are talking about people over 18 (or 21), these issues are a matter of personal preference, policy and taste. Hooters might not be to my taste; I might find Hooters’ key selling proposition offensive or I might not. But I would take a “live and let live” approach to it… Not to my taste? Offensive? I just won’t patronize the place/the carwash/the whatever…</p>
<p>BUT, as a fundraiser for an organization involving 4-14 year olds, or high school girls of any age… provocative attire, “sex” as the selling proposition or come-on… is just totally inappropriate.</p>
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<p>Yep, and that indicates that events which are not under the “control” of the school become events to be supervised directly by the parents. In so many words, the carwash must be a non-sanctioned activity, in the same vein as the other activities described in your post. </p>
<p>This said, I believe that a number of activities planned by students might fall into an undefined category … one the school believes is supervised by parents and one the parents falls under the control of the school. Teenagers are resourceful! ;)</p>
<p>I have no doubt that if a bunch of teenagers put together a car wash or other such activity, the possibility is there that something inappropriate could be in the works. Has been in a number of situations. Sometimes you let it go, sometimes you shut it down. I could see a car wash in Florida or some areas with kids bikini clad, and it might fly. Here, it would likely get shut down. All depends. But I don’t think a parent involved in the planning of this sort of thing would sanction something inappropriate, though, yes, sigh… there are adults without common sense too. </p>
<p>All I can say, is that I would not support such fund raisers, would not allow one under my watch and would not let my kid participate. I wouldn’t be in shock if it all happened behind my back, however. Inappropriate, in my opinion, yes. Illegal, and law suit and fight worthy, no.</p>
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<p>No. We cannot blame them. We can only blame ourselves if we have not been addressing these societal issues as a parent all along. When I, as a parent, have said no to similar things or things that are inappropriate, it has come as no surprise to my children because they are well versed in my thoughts, objections and experiences as a product of the feminist movement.</p>
<p>Teens are not known for their good judgement. Sometimes we have to save them from themselves. No?</p>
<p>What bothers me is the rearranged social hierarchy at school on the Monday following such an event. Girls who participated would be thanked publicly by loudspeaker as loyal and school-patriotic to have helped raise the money. In silent contrast, girls who felt either overweight, underweight, of various religions that would not tolerate it, are not celebrated. If you trace it back to which parents oversaw the project, you’ll find their daughters were both permitted and body-appropriate to appear in a bikini. </p>
<p>Parents are in charge of all these choices. Aligning with Hooters or sending schoolgirls onto mall lots in beach attire, just to raise money faster, is a choice. The same parent-advisors could tell the kids they need to work twice as long to raise the same money, sponsored or dressed a different way. Make a choice, parents.</p>
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<p>P3T, my daughters never chose to wear bikinis for our car washes. Unfortunately, I could almost predict which girls were going to show up in their skimpiest swimsuit… hmmmm, the one who contracted HPV by her junior year in high school, and another who got pregnant before graduation. But as I was only the parent volunteer and not the faculty sponsor, it was very clear what my authority was, and despite my repeat requests for enforcing of wearing something on top of bathing suits, it never happened. </p>
<p>The more I think about those days, the more I am SO glad I have nothing to do with that choir director anymore. </p>
<p>I’m sure this will spark more debate, but when D1 was first involved in the program, the car washes were MANDATORY (I was not in charge then)! You had to sell a certain amount of tickets and you had to sign up for at least a four-hour shift. The only excuse was being out of town (the dates were given months in advance). You were expected to get off of work since they gave you enough notice. </p>
<p>Walmart, where we had our car washes, offered to match our funds raised, up to $1,000. So the $1,000 went toward the program to offset costs (that would have otherwise had to have been shared by all students equally). The money from tickets sold by each student went directly into that student’s fundraising account. Drive-up sales were divvied up according to the percentage of time you spent at the car wash. Parents and family members who showed up to help also received a portion of the drive-up sales directed to their students account. </p>
<p>Interestingly, I have noticed that they don’t do the car washes anymore. I don’t think any parent wanted to be in charge of it and take responsibility for the actions of the kids, as it had gotten so out of hand.</p>
<p>I see what you mean; it can also be that the school club administrator makes the choice, and participating parents have to go along with decisions made.</p>
<p>I had big grief with our highschool’s musical director who costumed the chorus line “Hat Box Girls” of Guys and Dolls as bathing-suit bottom, bare-legged under a short skirt. She choreographed the dance line to high-kick often at the audience for views. As the director said, “just like on Broadway,” except the dancelines on Broadway are at least l8 years old. It’s a bit much for 9th grade girls, really. When ours asked for relief, she was told she could wear beige tights or quit the play (and don’t expect future roles). She had too much work ethic to quit a show midway. She decided to wear tights, feel embarassed, but finish the role. After that she refused to audition for any more high school roles but went instead to community theater, a chauffeuring nuisance for me, frankly. </p>
<p>Nobody in administration would or could stop the MT powerhouse of that school. The entire aesthetic choice was all in one person’s hands. This sounds equivalent in power to the choir director you describe, Teriwtt. I get it now; it’s not always the parents.</p>
<p>From teriwitt: I could almost predict which girls were going to show up in their skimpiest swimsuit… hmmmm, the one who contracted HPV by her junior year in high school, and another who got pregnant before graduation…</p>
<p>Harsh. Just harsh.</p>
<p>I’d wager there are plenty of nice preacher’s daughters with skeletons in their closets as well, and I am sure they weren’t wearing bikinis when they got into trouble… Let’s not judge the book by the cover, ok?</p>
<p>BTW, I’d vote no for bikini car washes. I have a feeling my DD, who is at a top university on scholarship with plans to be a surgeon would have said likely said yes, with absolutely no thought given to what she was allegedly “selling”. But then again, washing cars wasn’t really her style, so it never came up. ;-)</p>
<p>And btw, she doesn’t have HPV or a baby.</p>
<p>Huh? Where did “preacher’s daughters” get into this discussion?</p>
<p>teriwitts post indicated that girls, such as would wear skimpy bathing suits, were likely (in her opinion) to be the ones contracting HPV or getting pregnant. I found this to be quite judgemental and a bit mean. </p>
<p>The kinds of girls who get pregnant in high school aren’t always the ones you might think…ie, “nice girls” (preachers daughter, etc) get pregnant too…and “nice girls” aren’t always the type to wear skimpy clothes. So, you see, the bikini clad girl might just be a nice girl after all…despite her (rather poor) choice in attire.</p>
<p>Sorry if that was too far of a stretch. My point was that just because a girl wears the skimpy suit, doesn’t mean she isn’t a good girl.</p>
<p>I’m glad the topic of school musicals and plays was brought up. This is another problem area. Many Broadway plays were designed as adult entertainment. Some of them probably can’t be adapted for a school peformance. My child’s middle school performed “The Pajama Game.” Although they were supposedly using the junior version, the director added back in some of the edited portions. My D went to the organizational meeting, but once she understood the plot, she felt uncomfortable participating as an actress and chose to do the pit orchestra instead. When I saw the performance, I was pretty shocked by the scene where the married boss drags the young secretary into the woods at the company picnic. But seeing the 8th grade girl come out on stage in skimpy red lingerie made me ill.</p>
<p>I wrote a note to the superintendent about this and similar issues that had come up the same year, using the argument of exclusion. There are sizable segments of the school population with conservative cultural values who wouldn’t be able to participate in such a production, including many of the Indian students. I noticed the musical was performed again this year.</p>
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<p>teriwtt was reporting on actual girls she knew, based on years of involvement with this particular group, not speculating. </p>
<p>The larger point is that girls who have poor or no guidance from parents and other authority figures may all too enthusiastically buy into media culture that objectifies women, sexualizes young girls, and exploits the sexuality of both for monetary gain. It is suggested to girls that they are on the power end of the equation when they take off their clothes for money, but we all know that ultimately they are not.</p>
<p>^^^ Insightful post, Consolation - you’re so right about the power imbalance.</p>
<p>TheGFG’s post #92 makes me wonder where the brains are in her middle school. There are so many musicals to choose from that don’t contain adult material, even the rather mild kind in “The Pajama Game.” So why pick it - twice? Why do the junior version of anything and then add in some edited portions (which may be a copyright violation in addition to being an exercise in poor judgment)? And why tart it up with unnecessarily skimpy costumes? I agree that this was a poor choice.</p>
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Then add to the above message the adults/coaches who encourage teens to participate in things like bikini car washes or endorse Hooters (cause they are so philanthropic and all) and yes, it is no wonder some girls are confused. Not to mention the boys.</p>
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<p>Wow! Unbelievable!
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<p>This is a form of sexual harassment and should be addressed as such. No child should be penalized for her unwillingness to expose her crotch to an audience full of people. Are they for real?!!!
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<p>This is an important point. Many kids (simply because they are just kids) would not really think through the implications of the activity. It doesn’t mean they are “loose” or stupid. It just means they are kids and kids usually need adults to set the framework for appropriate activities.</p>
<p>What a shame. I have not been happy with our public schools to the extent that I have paid for private options at great cost for our kids. But never have I encountered issues like that tolerated by the schools and sponsored activities. Some of the theater productions have rivaled professional shows, but the costumes and casting have been appropriate.</p>
<p>^^^
As the parent and the aunt of former “Hat Box Girls”, I agree. There is absolutely no need for it.</p>
<p>has anyone REALLY looked at the issue that needs to be addressed on this thread? i would not trust any tween and middle school-teen to wash my car, are you kidding me?! i mean, at least some high schoolers have cars so they might know SOMETHING about washing cars.</p>
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<p>Consolation - Masterpiece of a statement!</p>