I saw myself how kids getting actual offers to consider sometimes really changed their perspectives on what they wanted to consider. It makes sense, it can all seem sort of unreal until you are actually looking at enrolling somewhere, and then certain things start becoming very concrete in your mind, and that can help you make a decision.
So I personally think the default “strategy” should be massively in favor of giving yourself that opportunity. I recognize in some cases, there is some financial or special academic reason or special activity reason or so on to strongly prefer a specific college, and that is OK if so. But I think most kids should highly value the opportunity to consider multiple offers before actually enrolling.
I’m going to chime back in here, also from the parent perspective.
OP - our D would have been third generation to attend Cornell. She’d been “prepped” to go to Cornell since birth. I have photos of her starting as an infant in Big Red swag. She went to visit campus numerous times. We all assumed she would ED there.
We made an official visit when she was starting her junior year and she HATED it. But, she gave very very solid reasons as to why it wasn’t a good fit for her. She did a deep dive into the curriculum and graduation requirements, she had data about internships/co ops, % of students going into grad school over industry, and presented us with hard facts about why Cornell would be a terrible fit for her. Not only did she not apply ED, she didn’t apply at all. There was push back from the grandparents but when presented with the same facts, they backed down too.
Instead of saying “I hate Ithaca” and “I know nobody there,” try to take the emotion out of the equation and tell them FACTS about why Cornell made you feel depressed and wasn’t a good fit.
And finally remind them that unhappy, stressed out students tend to have poorer outcomes so if they want you to be successful, it is in everyone’s best interest for you to have ownership over your college list and be happy with your choice!
I hate for someone to purposely tank an app but I get it. And OP likely will not get in anyway and that would be the best case. I do agree with @momofboiler1 but not everyone is rationale. So it doesn’t always work. And those who pay often use that although it sounds like a lot of aid is involved here.
I would not mention the friend and McGill and frankly so many best friends, like my son and his go to the same college - and guess what - they join different friend groups and barely see one another. So I wouldn’t choose a school for a friend or justify not going to a school because of one.
OP - you could do your best Manny Delgado - start at the one minute mark
It sounds like neither Cornell nor McGill is ideal for you – why not start over and come up with a list of schools that provide the environment and experience you are looking for, and are affordable and would put you on good financial footing for med school (if indeed you end up in med school)?
WRT friends in college – you will make friends wherever you go just by being yourself. A few high school classmates of mine also ended up at my college (UW-Madison), and I hardly ever saw them. I met new people with whom it was convenient to hang out. You will too.
If you haven’t already, make a list of some of the things that are important to you. This could include factors like location, setting (rural/urban/suburban…), weather, available majors and curriculum, social vibe, sports vibe, housing, etc. Find some schools that check those boxes and come in at or under your budget. Or – give us your budget and your criteria, and let us help.
I’m always curious when I read this comment - because if you believe the college transitions pre med list, Cornell is #11 as a feeder and #24 per Capita - so it’s not like people are not getting into med school out of Cornell…again, if the data is to be believed.
What the stats don’t speak to is the student experience. Is it a cutthroat environment? How are courses graded? How many students have to repeat courses? How many students are doing post bacc programs? What is the mental health of the students?
I’m simply saying people make it seem like Cornell isn’t getting kids into med school bcuz they talk about grade deflation and just want the OP to understand, from a third party anyway, they are in large numbers attendin.
Every school has a unique experience and often it’s unique in different ways on the same campus, depending upon the student, personality, major and more.
I have kids of friends and family that went there. Some of them have finished in 3 years and 2.5 years. I haven’t heard that it is a cutthroat place. I also haven’t heard of any serious grade deflation.
No one said that Cornell doesn’t get students to med school.
What many are saying is that THIS op isn’t off base with their concerns about Cornell. We are trying to help the OP formulate a more articulate argument for their parents to not ED, which it seems pretty clear they do not want to do.
We are fortunate that on CC there are a number of Cornell alumni and parents of current or recent students that have chimed in here with their direct experiences.
This OP says they hated Ithaca and found Cornell and the area depressing.
College is a big enough transition. Depression and hating where one is don’t need to be part of the equation. There are plenty of colleges where this kid can take the courses required for medical school applicants.
Yes, students from Cornell get into medical school. I sure hope those premeds chose the college because they really liked the college and the area.
It’s just that on every pre med post related to Cornell, someone recommends against it as a way to get to med school - and that always bothers me - which is why I brought up the data. The data and it’s just that - a quantitative point - wouldn’t support that assertion.
All kids react differently to all college settings.
But you all are saying it’s just tough due to hard grading - but it’s not stopping kids from getting in.
You are saying - you are saying kids don’t get in, just that they shouldn’t choose it. But others flat out say you won’t get in because of grade deflation which is why I brought up the data.
If there’s grade deflation, it’s not showing up in the #s attending, assuming the 3rd party data is true.
I don’t think any college is the “way to get into medical school”. But that’s a whole other discussion.
But most certainly, if this student wants to go to medical school, IMHO Cornell is not where they should go. They didn’t like the school, or the town. And found it depressing.
There are probably 1000 other colleges where this student could be happier, and still take the required courses for medical school admissions.
Also, choosing a college because a friend goes there is just like choosing a college where a significant other goes. No guarantee that friendship will remain as strong. Most kids branch out in college.