Yes, and some folks leave everything to spouse A via will or as named beneficiary, but are in marriage B at the time they die. Spouse B may get nothing.
Often kids of marriage A may get nothing unless the spouses in marriage A have a trust giving the surviving spouse rights to income and then assets are inherited by children of marriage A after the death of the surviving spouse instead of hunk or floozie B and step kids.
The only chance I’ve had at inheriting anything thus far in my 49 years is when my (childless, widowed) Great-Aunt passed. Unfortunately, she was … not a very nice person. So, she had (within her last couple of years) gotten her will changed to cut out my Dad and “all his descendants” (because, y’know, he got sick and didn’t call her nightly for an hour while he was in the hospital). She left the bulk of her estate to the local Zoo, and a particular (small) cash amount to some sort of 2nd cousin once-removed because they bore the brunt of her last 2 (of 98) years.
I figure it’s nice to get the “Be cut out of someone’s will” bucket list item checked off early. 
My Dad passed, and whatever non-debt (small, if any) he had passed to his 2nd wife. And, I’m totally fine with that because she’s still going strong 8 yrs later and likely to have another 10 or so.
My Mom has set things up so that it’s either a 50/50 split between me and my sister, or else a 3-way split between the grand-kids, depending on order of death. (I’m not sure how it goes if my sister passes but I don’t, and then there’s either an extra 1/6 lying around or else … ? I should probably read the will at some point.)
But, she did, specifically, call me to say that she planned to make my sister the executor of her will. I applauded her choice of the child who is a lawyer admitted to the bar in the state the will will be read in, rather than the child who is not a lawyer and lives in a different state. She was glad that I saw it that way, rather than feeling it was some sort of favoritism or power thing.
I can’t imagine any of my Aunts or Uncles leaving me something, simply because all of them have their own kids & grandkids to take care of.
I think, if I were named in a will with 2 cousins, I would expect there to either be an even split, or else a broadly known “well, you know little Johnny (who is actually 45 yrs old, but still gets called little Johnny by the family) was driving him to all of his doctor appointments for the last 5 years” type of thing to explain a difference.
And, I could see being disappointed if there weren’t really anything like that form of explanation.
In the case of my Great-Aunt, it was something of a relief not to need to find some sort of annual tribute that she would deem worthy of keeping me in the will.
Indeed. For the vast majority of deals, trusts and estates is not that difficult. (All those folks giving out free lunches to attend a seminar are just using boiler plate documents, regardless of the need. My folks had a really simple estate, and yet their estate package was 95+ pages long; much boilerplate taht was not even related to them, but they did get a nice lunch out of it!) Dealing with probate courts and other government entities requires a top-notch paralegal, however.
The judge never gave a reason, to my knowledge, other than saying that it was not typical to bypass the siblings & the will was old. This was in Illinois. There were three siblings, and two were deceased. The adult children of each of the deceased split that sibling’s third. FIL, the surviving sibling, was the only sibling who actually benefited. The cousins actually made out better than they would have if they inherited per the original will. FIL gave H and his sister some of his inheritance - not what they would have received through the original will, but any amount was an unexpected blessing.
My real estate attorney encouraged me to write a will when my son was born. At some point, I had to update the guardian. Then, when I moved to a different state, the will had to be reviewed. Prior to my son marrying, again redid will and trust. My lawyer (also a close friend), gave me several ideas. It is quite different if a person has one child or several. Plus, a sibling or a child with medical issues has to be accounted for.
I have seen many people with hurt feelings because valuable or sentimental items were not specified as to the recipient. One just has to write this on a paper.
Whether or not this will be an effective way to properly transfer valuable or sentimental items upon death depends on the laws of the particular state. Know the estate laws of your state and/or check with a knowledgeable attorney.
I agree. In my opinion…these items should be gifted to the recipients before the owner dies.
My MIL has sticky notes on a few things she wants her kids to have when she dies. Since all of the siblings really don’t want the things she has marked for them…it really doesn’t matter🙄
My late FIL had 2 sons and 5 grandkids. One son had 4 kids and the other had just 1.
Their father’s will gave a specified dollar amount to each of his 5 grandkids, and the rest of the estate was divided evenly between his 2 sons.
It seemed like a good distribution to all of us.
“ I have seen many people with hurt feelings because valuable or sentimental items were not specified as to the recipient.” - I have seen that too. But I suspect my kids won’t want much, if anything. I’ll be trying to get them to pick something they like from my mother’s items at my house to make sure they have something from the family.
MIL showed me some of her jewelry about a dozen or so years ago, and she told me who gets what. I couldn’t remember, and I noticed that it wasn’t spelled out in the will, so I suggested to H that he encourage her to give it to the recipients herself. It’s just sitting in a safety deposit box. She got mad & said she didn’t say anything about her jewelry. I am pretty sure my kids don’t care, and I don’t need the necklace she said she wanted me to have. It’s just one more weird MIL thing when it comes to her estate.
Your MIL likely doesn’t remember showing you her jewelry and having her he conversation so many years ago. Oh well, things will be distributed or not somehow in the future.
There is not much any of us want from my mother’s ‘estate’ (a 1000 sq ft house jam packed with junk). I’ve stated I’d like 3 of her nativity sets, and I’ll likely get them because I’m the only one who knows where they are stored. For some reason, 3 of my siblings and at least 3 grandchildren want the same painting of a seascape (I think it is bland and the frame uninteresting, but it is the only art work I can remember in every house we lived in). No one will really care where it ends up.
When my father died, my brothers and nephews split up the baseball cap collection. That was about it. Most of his clothing went to Goodwill
Most of my H’s deceased relative’s clothing were so donated. None of it fit any of us survivors. I did keep a few pieces from MIL that I believe I could use the fabric or alter for D.
Some of the furniture was kept as well. There were no fights over anything.
I may have posted this before on one thread or another. When my Dad was failing, we asked him about certain sentimental items and, as executor, I am glad I did not have to decide who got those. We forgot his wedding ring as our Mom had been wearing it. We are doing a sibling share, letting each one have it for a few months. It’s incredibly meaningful to wear it, and yet, maybe I wouldn’t 24/7/365, so it’s lovely to share. I think we will just keep doing that for a few decades.
My mother was great about giving away almost all her jewelry in her final decade, even her wedding ring in her last 6 months as she was no longer wearing it. The weird thing was the my mother would say yes in items to the first person bold enough to ask, a sibling dibs a meaningful item when I was maybe 7. A grandchild, technically rudely, asked if they could have a certain jewelry item when they were a pre-teen, no one else was so rude as to ask. So that’s an odd way to decide.
But such a relief as executor!
In reference to personal items, jewelry and memorabilia …My very wise, much loved and much missed god mother said ‘I’d rather give it to them with my warm hands then have them fight over about it over my cold body’. And she did just that…
My husband’s aunt had no children and was a surrogate grandmother for my kids. The summer after she died, we visited the uncle. He gave me a big box of jewelry to carry home on the plane with me. (A few precious things, mostly Avon and costume jewelry. The only ones I wear much are from the big assortment fo Christmas earrings.
For a year I actually could not open the box. Then I decided to buy a jewelry armoir, which mostly has the aunt’s items. My daughter is not into jewelry, but I will likely label the gold chains and pearls for her. I’ve tried to think of ideas to share items the other stuff with nieces as they get older. Maybe I’ll get some small jewlery boxes.
When I was about 12, I had an elderly aunt who told everyone that she had labeled items to be given to certain people at her death. She told me that I was to get the large mirror that had a portrait of my great grandfather underneath the glass. I remember the faithful cleaning lady was to get a small table. Anyhow, Aunt dies and her two daughters (neither had children and both well off) took off all the labels and disposed of the items. It was not a big deal to me but it has remained in my mind as a petty act and a betrayal to their mother. Moral of the story is to put lists of even minor bequests in writing and leave the list with an attorney.
Even very rich people with great attorneys and good plans can have issues. When Mrs Pew died (of Sunoco Oil, the Pew foundations, etc), her properties went to certain relatives and the contents of those houses went with the houses. That was easy.
The house on the Main Line in Philly, went to a charity but the contents went to the relatives. Each child and grandchild got a certain value to bid on things in the house. It was all appraised and they put stickers on things they wanted. Some awful things had no stickers, but some things I thought were awful were covered in stickers. What a mess! Books, cases of whiskey, dishes dishes and more dishes, pianos, furniture…
Philly loves its estate planning issues. Barnes Museum and those years of litigation???
One person’s mess, is another person’s treasure. (sounds rather organized to me and if that is the way the the Pew’s wanted to do it…)