I overheard, several times, one of my inlaws, who I see very infrequently, muttering profanities. The setting(s) were while doing dishes, while doing a crossword puzzle, twice while someone was exiting the room. Family members who are around this individual more often than me confirmed that they have observed similar behavior at, for example, a movie theatre and at bingo. No one thinks this new behavior is odd. I have twice urged my spouse to address the situation or at least talk to his siblings about it (he heard muttering but did not discern the words). I feel that it should be addressed as a medical concern-has anxiety, new meds, some neurological problem caused this? If I was doing that, seemingly unaware, I would want to know. I am thinking about telling this person myself although we do not have a close relationship. Thoughts?
You are right to be concerned and want to take action. One of my biggest regrets is that we did not drag my F-I-L to the neurologist when we first noticed symptoms of dementia. (He had a lifelong aversion to doctors.) Early diagnosis and treatment might have made it possible to slow the progress of his disease.
Thank you for confirming what I was thinking. Just the fact that none of this person’s children want to address the issue really bothers me. An occasional mild expletive blurted out when, say, a toe is stubbed is normal for their parent but repetitive strings of “eff yous” are not normal (especially when they are not directed toward anyone or seemingly caused by anything!).
Any change in typical behavior such as you describe is a concern. Now, if she’d always cursed like a sailor, that would be one thing, but this sounds like a significant deviation from the norm.
How old is she? Are there any other new behaviors?
Have you ever noticed them exhibiting any other facial or motor tics? Tourette’s Syndrome is well known for this, particularly the profane utterances.
Tourette’s is a heritable disorder.
Also happens in bipolar disorders.
You are right to be concerned if this is a new behavior. My FIL started using inappropriate language that was out of character for him after he had a series of small strokes. We knew about the strokes but that was one of the lingering effects. It can also be a symptom of dementia- I work in a senior wellness center that includes an adult day care where many of our clients have dementia. It is not uncommon to hear cursing from some of these clients and usually their families confirm that they did not talk like that when they were healthy. I would imagine there can be other underlying causes also, but any change in normal personality is cause for concern.
Thank you for all your responses. Age is 76. Tourette’s was what I was thinking at first but everything I read says onset for Tourette’s is in childhood. Only behavior that could I ever noticed could be a tic is throat clearing. She has done it since I’ve known her (35 years). Never thought of it as a tic until this recent behavior started. I’ve also noticed dementia patients cursing but only in advanced dementia. MIL does not exhibit signs of dementia as far as I can see. She cannot hear but won’t get a hearing aid. She is on Synthroid. Idk what other meds. FIL died a year ago. I do think she is experiencing anxiety-she was sure she had a brain tumor when she started getting headaches. Badgered her doctor until he had an MRI done. No tumor. May be on anti-anxiety med. Could that cause the cursing? No history of stroke.
I guess I am going to have to discuss this with her and suggest she see her doctor. Thanks all.
We noticed this in a relative also. It can be an early sign of altzheimers as well.
It would be wise to have this discussed with the person’s physician.
BUT having said all that…it’s not your parent. Express your opinion…once…and don’t be surprised if no one listens or is as concerned as you are.
We are dealing with that now. I tell my husband my observations. He tells me I’m overreacting. And that is that.
Second that, Thumper. Several of my family have concerns about one of my H’s siblings but he won’t talk to her about it. Only so much you can do.
Yes, thumper1, that is similar to what is happening here. My observation of the behavior was 3 weeks ago when we visited his hometown for a funeral. Circumstances were such although DH was not a part of the conversation, that I was able to voice my observations/concerns with DH’s sibs and they concurred that they’d observed the same behavior. Yesterday I asked DH if he had either talked to his mom or discussed the issue with his sibs. His response was no. My response was that I then would have to tell her of our concerns, probably via letter because I don’t want her to misconstrue what I say. DH said nothing. I think they all think the problem will go away. And no one seems concerned about her spewing out a stream of vulgarities at somewhere public-like mass.
Throat clearing could be a tic, so it’s possible that something like Tourette’s is manifesting differently. I have a kid with very, very mild Tourettes. He always has some very mild something going on, but whether it’s twisting his head, cracking his knuckles or clearing his throat we never know. Given the age though dementia seems much more likely.