Intentional Fragments for an admissions essay

<p>Would it be frowned upon to use intentional sentence fragments for an admissions essay? I ask because one of my essays basically uses intentional sentence fragments to create a structure to it. It is a bit unconventional, though it seems to work. This is still a very rough draft, but you get the point of it with the sentence fragments.</p>

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<p>You will hear me sing, scream, sigh, and laugh. You will hear nothing from me at time as well, though you will hear the background sound I tend to put on when I am studying. About the singing? It is be-cause I love to listen to many different genres of music, and sometimes it gets the best of me. I will sing badly, and it is something that I just do without thinking, sorry about that!
The screaming? When I scream, it is not because something bad has happened; it is because I am excited about something. I scream the most during football games, where I am a diehard San Francisco 49ers fan. During NFL season, you will find me dressed in 49ers apparel much of the time. The room will have 49ers posters, helmets, and jerseys. This is one thing you cannot escape. On the bright side though, if you are an NFL fan, we can always have a friendly rivalry when our teams play!
The sighing? I tend to sigh when there is nothing to do, but that is not very often as I am always trying to find new things to do. I could be sitting in the quad reading a book about southern culture, and then you will see me disappear. I will return with a smile on my face after having just jumped from a twin prop plane 14,000 feet in the air. You are always welcome to join me of course. I love sharing these experiences with others!
The laughing? Well, we all laugh sometimes. I laugh at the smallest of things, whether it is me missing something completely obvious, or falling down the steps as I seem to do far too often. This goes both ways though, if you do something, I may laugh first and help second. Do not worry though, the help will always come if you need it.
I believe you will like me as a roommate, and I hope you can handle everything I do. I have had a roommate for much of my life, so I am a considerate and respectful person. I hope to meet you soon.</p>

<p>Your new roommate,
Corey</p>

<p>This is really nice.</p>