Hi,
Some background info…. My daughter is playing soccer for a D1 school and is in her freshman year. She got hurt right before the first regular season game and has just been cleared to play again after 2/3 of the season is gone.
While visiting her two weeks ago, and while watching the team play on TV all season, I noticed one of the other players is struggling with her custom knee brace. The player keeps adjusting it, pulling it up, kicking it out, and flexing her knee. Clearly it’s on her mind and bothering her. While visiting and watching them practice I heard her comment to another parent that it’s “the worst” and “it keeps falling down”.
Being an engineer and having spent much of my career in product development my mind began to swirl with potential solutions and ideas. Upon returning home I searched the web and didn’t find much to keep knee braces from slipping down. I was a little surprised. So I saw some potential here. I composed a very nice and professional looking PowerPoint with related products from the web, two concepts/ideas I had, and some general thoughts on the subject. I sent it off to the head coach as an attachment in a heart felt email both thanking him for a wonderful weekend and hospitality, and I also mentioned the knee brace support ideas. I said nothing about my daughter at all. I ended by saying, “I’m assuming you haven’t tried these things but if you have, please disregard this completely”. He never replied and I was fine with just dropping it.
So my question to the community here is this. Do you think I was out of line for sending that email and PowerPoint to the coach?
“Out of line” might be too strong but I’d say you probably overstepped a couple boundaries here. The athlete in question can work with athletic performance if she needs help.
I contacted my kids’ college coaches by email once each, to say thanks for a great four years.
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As long as you drop it now- you’re good. Taking any other next step– not so good!
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Hmmmm. Yeah I don’t plan to pursue it farther. I had all the best intentions and saw this other athlete struggle all season. So either a, they didn’t know about the problem, b, they weren’t doing anything about it, or c, what they were trying wasn’t working.
Now. Where are those prototypes I built to send up there?!?!? Hahaha. Kidding of course.
So these college coaches are off limits??? I’m far from a helicopter parent, in fact quite the opposite. I guess I only felt SOMEWHAT comfortable sending it because the coach was so nice during our several interactions and said things like “we love having the parents up”, “stop by anytime”, “make yourself at home”, “why don’t you come to the team breakfast tomorrow morning", “walk around while we’re practicing”, etc.
I don’t think the coach is off-limits. I think if YOUR kid had a problem with a piece of equipment, a medical device/intervention, etc. and asked if you had any suggestions- and you tinkered and found one- and it worked– THEN forwarding to the coach could be perfectly fine with your D’s permission.
It’s getting involved in another kid’s issue (boundary number one), assuming that the coach hasn’t already tried to get the kid to ask the physical therapist for help (boundary number two), volunteering that you had a solution and here it is without being asked (boundary number three) that starts to feel like a pile on.
Do you welcome unsolicited advice from people who aren’t employed by your company or who are not customers/shareholders, etc. telling you how to do your job better? You may be fine and grit your teeth; you may resent it but are perfectly polite, or you may think “Wow, what a jerk”. Or some other reaction. But few people are excited to be told by lay people “I can do it better”.
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I wouldn’t say “out of line,” that’s harsh phrasing.
But any coach, manager, PT, equipment person, etc. will not discuss a health or medical issue of anyone’s without that person’s direct consent.
Sometimes those protections seem awkward and over broad (“this isn’t about her medical issues, it’s only about a knee brace—this is generic advice for anyone using a brace”), but anyone associated with the team should not talk about anything related to someone’s health.
If I had to guess, the coach knows you mean well, but they are letting it lie and not even acknowledging the health issue of the player by responding to this in any way with you (or anyone else!).
In other words, it’s not personal, just don’t mention it again 
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We can acknowledge that you meant well. A coach who is friendly is not inviting input on training, strategy, roster, etc., so while they may welcome conversation, the topics may not all be available! It wasn’t your kid, so it was pretty much off-limits.
Pretty much because if you were an orthopedic surgeon or even physical therapist who had professional experience with braces, the response may possibly have been considered, if not acknowledged. As a well-meaning tinkerer, maybe even a brilliant one, your help was less credible.
I agree with the others that if you let it lie, there is likely no harm done.
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