<p>I think I’d talk to them about it, too. How about something like this:</p>
<p>" I know you are going to be surprised to hear that the bill was the very first H and I ever heard about this! When we have a chance sometime I’ll fill you in on some of the neighborhood dynamics. H and I would have really liked to have been in on the discussion - but it sounds like this is a fair split. I’ll send you the check tomorrow."</p>
<p>or words to that effect. It’s letting the new neighbors off the hook in terms of their perception that you blame them, alluding to the fact that the other neighbor may have been to blame for the lack of communication, yet makes it clear that you were taken aback by getting such an unexpected bill in the mail and would like for that not to happen again. If they were at all to blame in all this, it lets you tell them how you feel while not putting them on the defensive.</p>
<p>I like roshke’s wording, except I’d get rid of the part about the neighbor. Sounds too gossipy. Now, if Mr. McM says, “What? Didn’t Mr. C tell you?” then I’d volunteer that no, he didn’t, and often doesn’t share info with neighbors or something fairly benign but yet still gets the point across.</p>
<p>How about something like this:</p>
<p>“I’m not sure whether you know this, but this bill was the very first H and I ever heard about this! H and I would have really liked to have been in on the discussion. But this seems like a fair split. I’ll send you the check tomorrow.”</p>
<p>^^Yikes. You’re totally right - that does read as being way too gossipy. I meant it to suggest that the neighbors have a certain way of dealing with the shared expenses, but that in this case one of the neighbors kind of took it upon himself, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, I agree, just take out that part.</p>
<p>Depends on how well it’s maintained. We live on a small town road in CT (only 1000 feet to a cul de sac). The original road was put in place in 1985 and has never been repaved. The town seals it every five years or so, but that’s it. It’s really quite fine. And that includes 5 houses that were built at the end and some heavy trucks with supplies, etc that traveled down that road.</p>
<p>I’d only add something like “We’re on a tight budget. In the future, please let us know about an expenditures in which we might share before they’re incurred. Thanks.” </p>
<p>While it’s implied in the previous wordings, sometimes you just have to be clearer. You don’t want McM believing that doing things in this order is acceptable.</p>
<p>^^^ I agree, and that’s the one reason I would argue that it might go better in writing. Perhaps if you do the first approach verbally, but promise to get them a check “tomorrow” - then include the written note along with the check. “Here is the amount, in full, that you have requested for the paving. As we have already mentioned, in the future we would like all parties who are expected to contribute to be included in the decision making process prior to incurring any expense.”</p>