DD verbally committed a couple months ago to her first choice NESCAC program. DD is 100% confident in her decision and trusts the coach entirely. She’ll be hitting the ED button as soon as she is satisfied with her essays, so this discussion may just be a mental exercise for me to enjoy as I hit full-on panic mode…
From what DD has told me (and my encounter with coach at the meeting where support was offered), I have noticed that the verbiage used during spoken conversation has been much more enthusiastic than in written correspondence.
For example, the phone conversation/in person conversations include words like:
“100% support through admission”
“admissions loves your transcript… they gave me the green light”
“let me know when your application is in so I can go to admissions and have it pulled”
“you can feel very comfortable about this even though I can’t give you a likely letter”
“start loading up on gear.”
“everyone in your situation has been admitted… just don’t get arrested”
On the other hand, the written communications are more like:
"we’re excited you have chosen "
“this will be a great place for you to grow”
“let me know if you need anything.”
Even in the handwritten notes that coach has sent, the language has been “nice” but noncommittal.
Do you think this is because the coach does not want to be “trapped” by anything in writing? Or perhaps is there language the coaches are generally advised to avoid? I may not ever get an answer to these questions. I suppose, I’m really just wondering whether the disparity between the spoken and written words are unusual. Should I be worried?(beyond the normal “no guarantees” worried, that is).
We are in the same situation and I do think you are correct in your reasoning. This is our first time through the recruiting process and that was my assumption as well as I did notice that when the pre-reads came back positive, the coaches did not communicate that via email, but rather sent an email or text saying that they wanted to talk. So I naturally assumed that because the admissions and athletics departments are supposed to be two separate entities, that they didn’t want anything in writing stating that the coach would be providing support with admissions, which I understand. But it does make the next 2 months a bit more stressful not having anything in writing. And in our case, all conversations were strictly between my daughter and the coach, but she feels 99% confident and I know she asked all the right questions and got the right answers back.
@LYLmom Thanks for your thoughts. It is very reassuring that you have made the same observations. Makes me wonder if our girls are headed to the same school!
I’m glad DD is not stressing out the way I am. She’s cool as a cucumber.
PW, of course the coach is going to be more circumspect in writing than in conversation. The most that you are going to get in writing is support through admissions or that the preread was positive, although that is usually followed by a comment that “this is not a guarantee of admission.”
I do remind all that the NESCAC rules provide that admissions decisions are made my admissions (not the coach) and that any communications about admission status that is not from admission is preliminary and subject to change. Therefore the coach can’t do much more than say what he or she said.
All of this will probably work out just fine, but it is not a bad thing to remember that nothing is a sure thing until the fat lady sends the fat letter.
@gointhruaphase
Actually, I believe it was one of your posts that suggested trying to subtly get the coach to write something about support in an e-mail. Following that advice, DD sent an e-mail after verbally committing, thanking the coach for his support through admissions. Though there has been continued communication, that was the single e-mail that never received a response. I admit that was a bit disconcerting.
Anyhow, I’m a little comforted to know that that the difference in language/tone is not necessarily a cause for alarm.
@PerpetualWorrier, she did get pre-reads from two NESCAC schools, but ended up choosing a non-NESCAC one. She already submitted her ED app, and once she told the coach, the coach said that she would follow up with admissions, so now we are just waiting which is the hardest part. I am fairly confident that it will end up working out for both our girls - keeping my fingers crossed! I am sure the next two months will fly by pretty quickly
@PerpetualWorrier I don’t know anyone from my area who has gone through the NESCAC recruiting process, and all of my info has been acquired through speaking with coaches and reading this forum, so take what I say with that in mind.
Does the school your daughter is applying to have a good reputation on this forum for the supported athletes being accepted? If the school has a good reputation, I would not worry about the lack of written assurance. If the school does not have a good rep, I would be a little concerned that the coach ignored the email that your D sent after verbally committing.
Fwiw, my son did get an email from the coach stating that he was giving his full support and that 100% of prior recruits had been accepted. However, maybe each school/coach handles this differently.
Maybe your daughter could send another email now stating that she is ready to submit her ED application, but before she does, she wants to make sure that she still has 100% coach support and that nothing has changed since she verbally committed.
@shuttlebus Thanks for the well wishes and good luck to your son too! But… AAACKKK! Your response is NOT helping my poor nerves!
I would say that the school has an outstanding reputation WRT reliability of support on CC; I have not found any posts about disappointed recruits once they have gotten through the pre-read stage. That being said, I am sure that CC posters generally represent a vocal minority, so who knows. I have no resources outside of Google searches and CC as our high school is not known for its athletics.
DD just had a phone conversation with coach last week and he again told her she would have his full support through admissions and that she should contact him as soon as the application is in so he could pull her file. I feel like he is saying everything we are supposed to be listening for. Then a couple days later DD gets another handwritten “glad you have chosen us…It will be great having you here” post card.
DD was planning on calling him before she hits the submit button, but now I’m thinking it makes more sense for her to e-mail asking for confirmation of support as you suggest. But, the way communications have been going, I wouldn’t be surprised if he responded to her e-mail with a phone call. I have a suspicion we will not be able to get any indication of support in writing. This coach has a reputation of being a “great guy” so I’m really hoping this is a policy thing as opposed to something sinister.
DD is unfazed by all of this and will be applying ED no matter what I think at this point. So, the last thing I want to do is undermine the positive relationship she is already developing with her (hopefully) future coach. All I can say is, thank goodness there is a place like CC where I can get this all off my chest!
I think your daughter has the right idea. If she applies ED and doesn’t get in, she’s really in the same place she would have been in if she applied to all schools RD. Yes, it will be a scramble to find the next ‘best fit’. Some schools do have ED2 because a few of the ED1 students were NOT admitted to their schools. It happens, but really not often if the coach has agreed to the support and otherwise are qualified for the school. There is a little bit of faith and trust needed for the process, and the coach said she has support, so she has to believe that.
What would your other options be, to use ED for a different school? Your daughter seems happy to take a chance on this one.
The bottom line is that she is comfortable and happy with her first choice school and that is what ED1 should really be about. The coach’s support is gravy.
She loves the school/team and, frankly, is an excellent match for them academically and athletically. I probably need to stop overanalyzing and trust in the system. After all, at this point, what choice do I have? And, if things don’t work out, she can try moving on to her next favorite school (has EDII) with a “Hey coach, remember me?”
@PerpetualWorrier said"I would say that the school has an outstanding reputation WRT reliability of support on CC; I have not found any posts about disappointed recruits once they have gotten through the pre-read stage. That being said, I am sure that CC posters generally represent a vocal minority, so who knows. I have no resources outside of Google searches and CC as our high school is not known for its athletics."
If the college has an outstanding reputation on CC, I would not worry about the lack of written communication. I also believe that if the coaches at this college weren’t able to get their supported recruits admitted, then that fact would have been mentioned on CC.
For what it’s worth, we were in a similar spot a year ago (not a NESCAC school though) – as an adult, I was expecting some kind of written confirmation about where things stood, but had to get comfortable with oral communications about recruiting details. It all worked out, but without likely letters etc., it is a long fall waiting for the acceptance package. Hang in there!
So in the most perfect of worlds, the best you can hope for is a NESCAC coach agreeing in writing that in exchange for applying early he or she will support the recruit’s application AND a positive preread noted in writing. A NESCAC coach cannot promise admission – and that usually extends well beyond the NESCAC within Division 3. So, what can you do to protect yourself (I note many of these conversations have already taken place place orally in your D’s case)? 1. An email asking the coach about the results of the preread. This memorializes that a preread took place and also invites an easy reply via email. 2. An email asking to confirm support with admissions. Again, this encourages a short communication back via email. Sometimes you can just lay your cards out on the table. If the coach calls to recruit, you could just say “look I really like ____ College. It is my no. 1 choice, but I am being recruited elsewhere. Would you mind me sending you an email confirming that you are supporting my application with admissions.” Obviously, that is not as good as an email from the coach, but something is better than nothing.
Let’s look at what was said in your case in writing:
"we're excited you have chosen " This sentence looks like the coach has memorialized that your D has committed to applying early as an athletic recruit. Parenthetically, this is exactly what I suggest a recruit do by confirming coach support by email. Nothing binds your D to apply ED -- it just memorializes current intent and strongly suggests the direction of the recruiting process. That said, the fact that coach says "were excited" connotes a two way commitment -- to the extent that notion even exists in D3.
"this will be a great place for you to grow." Again, to me, this sentence insinuates a fairly good chance of admission, particularly immediately after memorializing that your D is applying early. Coach could have said different things, like "we'd love to have you on the team, if you get in."
"let me know if you need anything." This sentence does not concern me, but, it is a perfect invitation to ask for written confirmation of coach support through admissions. Your D may not want to "rock the boat," but the offer is there. Personally, I think rocking the boat is a good thing. The folks who don't rock the boat miss the chance to get a true understanding of "coach speak."
My gut here is that the language you quoted was probably suggested to the coach by someone else – perhaps someone in admissions or in the athletic department. It seems very “thought out” to me. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was the same language the coach sends in writing to all recruits.
Finally, I go back to the notion that butterflies (or perpetual worrying) are not a bad thing. Recruits who get preferential treatment in admissions should be appreciative and take absolutely nothing for granted.
@gointhruaphase Thanks so much for such an analytical response! I really appreciate hearing your take on all of this. You are right. Most of the meaty conversations have already taken place over the phone, so it will be awkward to say, “Hey, I know you already said that, but can I get that in writing?” It’s funny… I thought that the phone calls were a great sign, a true show of interest on the part of the coach. Now, I kinda wish more of the interchange had been in writing.
"1. “we’re excited you have chosen " This sentence looks like the coach has memorialized that your D has committed to applying early as an athletic recruit. Parenthetically, this is exactly what I suggest a recruit do by confirming coach support by email. Nothing binds your D to apply ED – it just memorializes current intent and strongly suggests the direction of the recruiting process. That said, the fact that coach says “were excited” connotes a two way commitment – to the extent that notion even exists in D3.”
So this is when DD actually e-mailed back something like “I’m excited too! I’ve already notified the other schools that I’ll be applying to your school EDI. Thank you so much for supporting me through admissions.”
No confirmatory response was received to that communication, but at least there was no “Umm… you misunderstood me” e-mail either.
Anyhow, my gut agrees with yours. I have a feeling that the written language is guarded by design.
I need a glass of wine.
Happily updating that DD was accepted to the land of purple cows! What a huge sigh of relief! Thank you to everyone for your help! I honestly don’t think we could have navigated this process without the advice of all the good people on this board. You all are the best!
Fabulous. Congratulations. The land of purple cows is beautiful and the challenges immense to receive that Wonka golden ticket. Your DD deserves that round of applause coming from AboutTheSam. I hope she never takes an ounce of her achievements for granted.
@gointhruaphase I don’t get the AboutTheSam reference… but sounds good! I wanted to thank you especially for your cautious optimism and reminders that admissions admits. Although knowing that nothing is a “sure thing” until that admissions notifications arrives hugely augmented the anxiety level, it most definitely made this ultimate result taste all the sweeter!
