<p>Hey, folks sometimes don’t even know each other’s name when they “otherwise engage,” you expect them to check college affiliation?</p>
<p><kiss> <kiss> <caress> <fondle> Ummm…what college did you go to? <kiss></kiss></fondle></caress></kiss></kiss></p>
<p>I don’t think so either.</p>
<p>I agree with many points above and would like to thank everyone for being open-minded and sharing their stories. One last thing, I dont think that my position is old-fashioned. I am a modern person, probably one of the youngest parents on this board. I do not live in immigrant ghetto I socialize with all sort of people, I am an educated professional, I feel completely integrated. This country is my home and I love it very much. I am not unique many people share my views. Heritage has not outlived itself embrace it, enjoy it, spread the message out, dont be ashamed of it - this does not make you unpatriotic, unethical or segregated. Teach it to your kids if they appreciate their own culture and history, theyll respect other cultures and theyll want to preserve them.</p>
<p>*Hey, folks sometimes don’t even know each other’s name when they “otherwise engage,” you expect them to check college affiliation?</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>thats when the t-shirts come in handy</p>
<p>
the midwest is sorta racist (well, the whole country is racist, the midwest, in my experience has been more blatant with it). i’ve lived here my whole life and it is not nearly as liberal as the two coasts, so don’t be that shocked.</p>
<p>My grandparents were from the midwest- very small towns of less than 1000( some less than 500), virtually everyone, even now according to census data, is white.
It takes awhile for people to alter their perceptions and comfort zone- some more than others.
They also need to have motivation to do so. When my grandfather worked along side minorities when he came here to build aircraft during WWll, he expanded his viewpoint. When my great aunt became friends with a Japanese American family and tried to get them help when they were “relocated”, she expanded her viewpoint.</p>
<p>Where I grew up all the minority families I knew were very middle class, often more upper than my own family.It wasn’t till I moved to the city, that I started knowing a greater percentage of minority and immigrant families.
But living in the"liberal" city which is about 40% minority, we have very racist viewpoints being expressed even by people who should know better.</p>
<p>The director of equity and race relations for the school district for example stated that “planning ahead” is a white- therefore racist value, and that only whites could be racist.</p>
<p>I also regularly hear the misperception being stated that certain neighborhoods in Seattle are white, therefore elitist, at the same time I have recently * been* in those neighborhoods,and their * grocery stores* often have signs in Chinese as well as English, so how segregated can they be? I sure don’t know Mandarin. 
These sort of opinions, do more to divide us, and cloud the common ground that we should be working towards.</p>
<p>There * is* a lot of racism/sexism/classism, in this country I agree- but it isn’t just going one way.</p>
<p>I think it is disingenous to say we should be colorblind- that doesn’t make sense to me. However it is just one piece of information about someone & IMO not the most important piece.</p>
<p>I’m a product of a mixed marriage (white father and Korean mother). Where we live (next to an army base), interracial couples aren’t unheard of. In fact, it’s relatively common. My mother or father haven’t encountered anything racist (that they’ve told me about), but the more south you go in my town, the less common this becomes. I think my mother has experienced some racism, but not because of her marriage, because of her race. I guess it’s not that unheard of here in Tennessee.</p>
<p>hotpiece, you are right. The midwest is not as progressive as the coasts and is “sorta” racist, but not as much as in the south. (I wouldn’t have been so shocked about my friend’s husband’s comment if he had been raised there.) I will say I was somewhat surprised when my daughter shared that she had some issues/comments about her bf being black from her white guy friends. It just goes to show there are prejudiced people everywhere–even when you don’t expect it. </p>
<p>Attitudes are changing, and I can only hope that the next generation does a better job judging people as people, not as a race, religion, etc. I am not saying we shouldn’t celebrate our differences–we should. We just shouldn’t judge people based on those differences. Ok, I’ll get off my soapbox now.</p>
<p>I’m white, and my wife is black. We have two young sons who are brilliant students; they’re well behaved children who are respectful of other people. Since they were born, strangers have stopped us on the street to comment about how good looking they are. When they’re ready to date in another six to eight years, if any of you, of whatever race, have a problem with your daughters wanting to date my sons, it will be your family’s loss.</p>
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<p>I just came upon this thread today. </p>
<p>It’s not often that one finds every part of the country - Midwest, South, East Coast, West Coast - mischaracterized in a single sentence.</p>
<p>My DD is currently dating a very nice boy who is biracial, mother black, father white. My daughter is both, I am white, donor was black. We live in the south, to be precise, the county that Oprah went to back in the late 80’s and they were not nice… My DD has dated very nice boys from the north part of the county, caucasian boys, who’s parents were very accepting, thrilled that their son was dating such a nice young lady. It saddens me to think people still think otherwise.</p>
<p>My friend’s D (born in a Hindu family) recently married a really nice Jewish guy. Initially my friend and her hubby were not particularly thrilled over the prospect. But realized that their D’s happiness mattered more than their own dreams of her marrying anther Indian. </p>
<p>When their D got married however, all the men from bride’s side arrived to the Wedding hall wearing Yamakas, and all folks from David’s family wore Kurta and Saris. The couple had a Hindu ceremony followed by a Jewish ceremony. At the end of the ceremony, everyone was declared a Hinjew! 8-)</p>
<p>Zimmer you quoted “Many years ago when I was a teen, I asked my dad if it would be ok if I ever dated a black guy. To put it mildly, words like, “over my dead body”, “shotgun”, “disowned”, “never live in this house”, maybe “shotgun” again…well, you get the idea…”
…
Wow! This is reminiscent to a situation my dear friend faced back in the 70s. He was in love with a Muslim girl. His Hindu Dad threatened to commit suicide if he were to consider marrying this girl. </p>
<p>I think times have changed for the better not just in the US but even in Asia.</p>
<p>I see no problem with interracial dating or even marriage, as long as the couple realizes that they (and their children if they have any) will be more comfortable living in some communities than in others. </p>
<p>Where I live, in the suburbs of Washington, DC, mixed-race families of all varieties are so common as to be unremarkable.</p>
<p>This thread reminds me of a couple stories in our lives:</p>
<p>–A young black teenage male was/is a very good friend of my son (white). Through high school he lived at our house as much as his own. He started dating a white girl and his mother put him out of the house for a short while until she calmed down. The mother eventually calmed down and tolerated the girl for the year or so that they dated.</p>
<p>A friend of mine d. (white) was dating a wonderful young man who was a friend of my son. He was black and neither set of parents had an issue with it. However, my friend’s father was very set against interracial dating–so to spare the ire of this 80+ year old man, they never took pictures of the couple together to send to him.</p>
<p>When we vacationed, we often let the kids bring friends with them. One year the oldest took 3 friends with us to the beach (and also a professional conference for my husband). One friend was Asian, one was black and one was hispanic. At the welcome party, I just introduced them all as my sons–have to admit I got a couple double takes.</p>
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<p>The OP of this thread, and the participant I am quoting, were taken aback that anyone thinks this is an issue in 2007. I’m with them. I’m horrified that “interracial dating” is even a concern, because such a concern reveals a profound ignorance of science and history. </p>
<p>One day I was reading a news story about how often Americans have a meal with someone “of another race.” I thought about that for a brief moment, and then thought “NAWW, this is not my problem at all.” In the blighted view of anyone who thinks humankind is divided into “races” (which is a false view in light of genetic and historical evidence), my family is “interracial.” I don’t think about it much. We live in an integrated neighborhood and treat our neighbors as neighbors. I have no idea where my children’s spouses will come from–probably all over the world. If they are kind, honest people who love my children, I’ll be happy to bless their weddings. For sure I will love to snuggle my grandchildren.</p>
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<p>Wha? Or perhaps their neighbors would be more comfortable if they went elsewhere?</p>
<p>I don’t think it should matter. </p>
<p>It makes me sad that a 17-year-old is more accepting than some adults (please note that I am NOT pointing to anyone here, just making an observation).</p>
<p>But then, I do go to a high school and live in a town where white is the minority.</p>
<p>Wha? Or perhaps their neighbors would be more comfortable if they went elsewhere?</p>
<p>I wouldn’t say that necessarily
But if I adopted a Vietnamese child for instance, and lived in a town where she was the only minority, I am not really doing her many favors. IT would be obvious she was adopted yes, and some people might draw a lot of attention to that, but it would also be much more difficult to give her a sense of her roots and of her ancestors culture.
That is very important- and while we may like to think kids are colorblind and to some extent they are, children also like to fit in and to feel part of the group, before they start investigating how they are seperate from teh group</p>
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<p>What I meant was that there are some places where an interracial couple or an obviously biracial child would be stared at – thought of as an oddity – while in other places the same people would be ordinary members of the school or community. </p>
<p>In the community where I live now in Maryland, nobody particularly cared that my son, who is white, had a Hispanic girlfriend when he was in high school. Nor does anyone especially notice that the girl across the street from us is half-white/half-Asian. Such situations are common here. But I have lived in places where they would not be. I think that an interracial high school couple or a biracial child would prefer to live in a place where they don’t attract unusual attention.</p>
<p>There are some places that are more accepting than others. I am Chinese and my husband is white and we were married 25 years ago. I have been to a small town in New England where the hotel owner wouldn’t give me a nice lounge chair like other guests. I’ve had Chinese people that told me I was betraying my race. Early on my husband and I have decided instead of trying to change people, it was easier for us to live in a metropolitan area where our children would be most comfortable.</p>