<p>My daughter is shy and anxious in interview situations, and I would like to get her some help and coaching. A look at Craigslist - we live in the northern suburbs of Chicago - yield one college counseling service charging $400 an hour, so not a viable option.</p>
<p>Has anyone here hired someone, or heard of someone else hiring someone, to help their kid prepare for interviews? It seems like it could be done via Skype as well as in person. Any leads or suggestions welcome. I realize that his may sound like overkill, but trust me, it’s not, and feeling for comfortable in these situations would be a good thing for her life in general, and not just college admissions.</p>
<p>I have practiced with all of my kids. If you search online, you can find lists of questions for just about any interview situation. I started with my older D when she was in 7th grade, interviewing for drill team officer.</p>
<p>Besides practicing the Q and A, I gave them important tips like “never start a sentence with ‘um’” and “when you are finished answering the question, stop talking” and “sit up straight.” They always came out of interviews saying “Mom, they didn’t ask any of the questions we practiced” but they always did well in interviews."</p>
<p>Do you know anyone who does alumni interviews for their own alma mater? We had two friends who interview for schools our daughter was NOT applying to who agreed to mock-interview her and give her some feedback.</p>
<p>I’m sure my husband (who used to do alumni interviews) would be willing to do this for a friend who asked.</p>
<p>Yes. Look around your friends. You are looking for someone who (depending on the industry your daughter is in) works for a company, has interviewed and hired people. Make sure that they are willing to help. Make yourself scarce. If may take a few meetings . I have found that a nice lunch or dinner is a huge thank you. </p>
<p>It will all click. It may take longer but your daughter will be ok. It is just harder for us.</p>
<p>Has she looked at Youtube for “job interview tips” and “job interview examples,” just to warm up? I think you have the best idea to have a mock interview, but she might also gain confidence in a safe space, just looking at these videos, before she meets her coach.</p>
<p>Also google Toastmasters International, see if that sounds relevant to your D.</p>
<p>Is this a hs student? Perhaps an English teacher might be willing to help. We had a hs English teacher that volunteered to spend extra time helping our D with public speaking. (Alas at that point in time D was not willing to accept extra help).</p>
<p>My “shy” child was able to overcome that by approaching the situation as role playing - she was able to construct a job-interview-persona (think Beyonce’s Sasha Fierce) that allowed her to play the interview game while still allowing her to keep her (very firm) walls up.</p>
<p>I did mock interviews with our son. I also had him watch interview videos that pointed out good things and bad things on interviews. Maybe monster.com has interview videos.</p>
<p>FWIW, I’ll offer a few random interview tips (I’ve been on both sides of the desk many times):
Start out with a firm handshake–no dead fish–and look the interviewer in the eye and smile.
If you don’t have a good answer for a question, it’s okay to say “I don’t really know,” or “I’d have to give that a lot more thought.” Much better than babbling.
Have a few good questions to ask for that inevitable moment when the interviewer says “Is there anything else you’d like to know?” I once sparked a lively conversation when I asked the interviewers (there were three at once) what path had led them, and others in the firm, to become involved in what was a rather obscure industry. That resulted in war stories galore–and you know how much people love to talk about themselves. (I got the job.)
If there’s anything sketchy on your resume–like an unusually short tenure at a job or an unexplained gap in schooling–address it right up front: “I know you must be wondering why…” You’ll seem savvy and mature, you’ll keep control of the subject, and the interviewer will appreciate not having to be the one to raise an awkward topic.</p>
<p>I think you could arrange a few counseling sessions for your D with an experienced child psychologist that would help with this. It’s an anxiety/confidence issue, which is an area psychologists deal with. It could be just 3-4 sessions working on this specific issue with a goal of feeling more comfortable in interview situations. </p>
<p>Ask around for recommendations for a child psychologist. Your D’s pediatrician (or former pediatrician) might have suggestions.</p>
<p>How about asking a few neighbors that your daughter does not know too well to interview her. Doing it over and over again can help her get over some of the shyness. You can give the neighbors some suggested questions, etc.</p>
<p>I would have her practice as other said with friends, neighbors and relatives. Maybe video tape the sessions. Let her know, she does not know the person who will be interviewing her, they do not know she is shy, she can play anyone she wants in the interview. Worse that doesn’t get job, college acceptance, etc. It will not ruin her life. Maybe practicing yoga, deep breathing, relaxation techniques might help. Last, I know as part of my health insurance I have some kind of mental health aspect included which would include this type of help. Ask your HR dept.</p>
<p>“I would have her practice as other said with friends, neighbors and relatives.”</p>
<p>Excellent advice. Why pay someone when you can have people do it for free? The important thing is that she practices interviewing live sitting across from another person - it’s amazing how difficult it can be to look directly into someone’s eyes and answer basic questions - even IF you know the questions in advance. </p>
<p>Also, most schools will offer mock interviews free to students (but usually they won’t give one student endless mock interviews - it’s just for 1 or 2 and some pointers afterwards). So practicing with someone (a friend/parent?) over and over until you get confident is really important - especially for a shy person.</p>
<p>I know two professional actors who, in person, are extremely shy. One of them, on the side, runs a service for shy lawyers and business executives (yes, they exist) on personal presentation. </p>
<p>Practice with as many different people as possible would seem to be key.</p>
<p>My daughter graduates from college in two weeks. She has done a couple of different things. She met with an acquaintance of mine whom she had never met. It was more like an informational interview and she also had her r</p>
<p>Thanks to all for a great bunch of suggestions! DD is a high school sophomore, homeschooled. She’s a math and art kid, but is doing Model UN in part to work on public speaking. At the time I posted yesterday, she was off to a rough start at a conference. It was her first small committee and she’d found herself scared to death at the prospect of addressing 30 people rather than 200 as on the big committees. It was an interesting observation, that an audience of 30 is too big to be intimate but too small to be anonymous, ergo terrifying. After a couple of discouraging days, she wasn’t particularly optimistic about turning things around, but came home tonight and reported that she had made two ‘cool and memorable’ speeches. Neurotic mother happy and relieved, and DD proud of herself. The key to interviews will indeed be practice, practice, practice. Thanks again for all the useful ideas.</p>
<p>I know this is not the question you asked, but note that interviewing is NOT mandatory for many colleges. See this thread for the story of a kid (mine) who did not interview at any colleges applied to, and still got into them all.</p>
<p>However, I agree with you that it is generally a valuable skill to develop if possible. Just saying, you can also be strategic if she still isn’t very strong at it when you get close to applications. I have also heard the advice to NOT have kids do evaluative interviews before senior year if possible, as they usually have more poise and direction by then.</p>
<p>Some folks do better talking to others they do NOT know. I have a kid that used to refuse to answer the telephone at home yet later went on to answer the campus switchboard.</p>