<p>Epiphany, I would do the best I could to reassure the student that SHE conducted herself well in the interview (assuming you feel this is likely the case). </p>
<p>
While I do think it is odd for the wife to participate, I don’t agree with the above. The interviewer is fully within his rights to set the terms of the interview, including where it will be held, and who will be there. I think it was courteous for the interviewer to let the interviewee know in advance that the wife would be present, just as it is courteous for an interviewer to try to accommodate an interviewee on time and location. But the interviewer doesn’t need to request permission from the interviewee for any of these conditions. If you go for a job interview, you will not get anywhere this level of courtesy–you will be told where to show up, and you may not be told at all in advance who will be interviewing you.</p>
<p>One possibility is that this couple enjoys interviewing together, and that they do this for both his school and hers. Personally, I don’t see a big problem with it–indeed, you might benefit from the wife’s presence if she has better insight than the husband’s.</p>
<p>My husband and I are both alums of the same Ivy, and we interview together as a team. We warn all students we are assigned that there will be two of us, and we also make sure to tell them that the interview is a very casual thing, more for the student to ask us questions than for us to “grill” anyone. We also tell them it is optional and doesn’t really count for much. No one turns it down, though!</p>
<p>We do not know anything about test scores or GPAs, and we do not ask about these things. We also do not ask where else he/she is applying, though sometimes the student volunteers it. We usually know an intended major and perhaps an EC or two. One reason we think it is nice to interview as a team is that I took a more traditional liberal arts path and my husband is hardcore science, so no matter what the student is looking to study we have some knowledge on that aspect of the school.</p>
<p>We had no “vetting” or training as interviewers. Just, “hey, we need volunteers” and we said ok. As I mentioned above, I think the only request was to steer conversation away from stats and try to get a picture of the student’s interests and passion for the school. Why do they want to attend? How will this particular school help them achieve their goals? But above all, our job is to answer any questions from the student. We are upfront about the fact that this is mostly informational for the student and not something that will make or break an acceptance.</p>
<p>We were told by an admissions officer that the interview counts for very little. It is optional. As she put it, “your write-up goes in the file, but it goes in the very back of the file, and is mostly used to confirm the impression we have gotten from the rest of the application (scores, essay, LORs, etc).” She said rarely they receive an interview report that is so different from the rest of the file that they will follow up with the HS, but she said that is extreme.</p>
<p>We usually meet students at a Dunkin Donuts, have some hot chocolate and a relaxed conversation. Even kids who start out really nervous are usually gabbing away by the end. I’d say our average interview lasts 45-60 minutes just because we end up on some interesting tangent. We are usually blown away by the kids, and upon leaving always mutter to each other that there is no way either one of us would be accepted today!</p>
<p>All that said, while I don’t think being interviewed by a team is necessarily more stressful, I do think it odd for someone not affiliated with the school to be asking questions and participating in the interview.</p>
<p>My interview for Ivy League U was at the alum’s house, and his wife was there as was my father. They told us to bring a parent, as in those days they did not want people to meet in a public place; our only option was the interviewer’s house. It was kind of weird having two extra adults there, but I did end up getting in :)</p>
<p>For the interviews I conduct, the level of training is not mandatory, you can go but you don’t have to. They do impress upon you, over and over, that you MUST meet in a public place or the student’s HS. Ditto on what bearpanther said, almost to a T. Except I prefer not to meet somewhere to eat, though I tell students it is informal and not to worry about it. Some interviews are only 30 minutes or even less, because it is abundantly clear the student applied to my alma mater because of the name and has no real interest or connection. Some interviews can be an hour or more, as bearpanther said, sometimes tangents come up.</p>
<p>The worst part about interviewing for my Ivy, and I would dare say many if not all others, is that we don’t get any info on the student as to what their grades or scores are, so we have to balance between “our school is great, I hope you accept our offer” and “good luck getting in”. We are trying for all applicants to be interviewed by alumni, but some do refuse. We can’t dis or even talk about other schools, so it is a tricky business. And yes, the alumni interview counts almost nothing according to admissions. To get to the point where the alumni interview might matter, you’d have to be highly qualified but for some reason (such as diversity of any sort) they are not sure.</p>
<p>It is a bit awkward to be taking notes as you interview an applicant, so I can see the benefit of having someone take notes for you. I am not sure the point of the wife actually participating, but also realize perhaps they are very much involved in the college’s alumni community, and that can have a major impact.</p>
<p>As for “reporting” the interviewer? I would dot my i’s and cross my t’s first, that is, do your own research to see if any alumni interviewing guidelines have been violated. And ask yourself, is it worth questioning? It does not seem like anything sinister is going on. It does seem like it is a lot of worry over not much.</p>
<p>This is kind of weird, I don’t get why people don’t get why epiphany is upset about this, it’s kinda weird to just spring the wife on a kid. I interview people for work quite a bit, this doesn’t seem much different except it’s a bit more informal. I always let the person know how many people will be in the interview and it’s not all that awkward to take notes, just say, “I’ll be taking some notes.” If the wife didn’t have anything to do with the alma mater (didn’t attend) then the wife shouldn’t have attended the interview. Yes I’m coming with my teen daughter to somewhere public unless it’s at the high school but I’ll probably wait in the car (so if the wife was needed to drive she should wait in the car like I do). If the wife is needed to take notes then the husband should not be interviewing, pretty sure there are others that can take up the slack. Nobody is listening to your conversation in a Starbucks/local coffee shop (D had a tutor there and this was a very active coffee shop.) If the interviewer can’t drown out the din of a coffee house then they maybe shouldn’t be interviewing. There’s also the local library - there are study rooms (I’d come into the library but sit and read a book or something until they were done). </p>
<p>I don’t understand this need for privacy in a casual and possibly meaningless interview. I also don’t quite get the characterization of a possibly harmless little wifey question as “grilling”. </p>
<p>It’s kinda like having your significant other participate in an interview for work? Who does that?</p>
<p>Another thought…maybe the wife doesn’t trust her H with young ladies. Perhaps HE has had “a problem” with this in the past. Maybe she knows her H tends to flirt, and she didn’t want him to be accused of anything inappropriate?</p>
<p>I think that telling the student in advance that his wife would be there was likely the interviewer’s attempt to make the female student and her parents feel comfortable/safe.
I don’t think the mom’s report that “wifey grilled student on her college list” means the interview went badly. I think it is more likely that the wife simply asked the question, “So, where else are you applying?” and the mom has turned that into “grilling.” Many students want to keep their lists private, others are happy to talk about them. So, while this student was uncomfortable with the question since she didn’t want to reveal her list, I don’t think being asked is that unusual or something to get upset about. They should just relax, knowing that the interview doesn’t count for much, and the student did the best she could (I assume) in the situation. The only time the interview would really count is if the student displayed some highly inappropriate behavior that the interviewer would report as a red flag</p>
<p>I think the OP is the student’s counselor and not the mom. If it’s a useless and meaningless interview then why do it? It’s unprofessional and weird.</p>
<p>Interviewers understand that their reports don’t have a big impact on admissions decisions. They do it because they like selling their school to potential students. That’s not meaningless at all.</p>
<p>The mere fact that the wife “came along,” for whatever reason, is not something to be concerned about, IMHO; however, the fact that she interjected herself into the conversation in a way that put the student on the spot and diverted attention from the student’s suitability for the college in question DOES matter. In fact, her line of questioning might lead the interviewer to write a report that says that the student seemed more interested in other schools. If she had simply made a few gracious remarks and then retired to another table, or even opened a book and minded her own business if seating was scarce, that would have been fine. </p>
<p>I must say, I really dislike these coffee-shop interviews. I think it is very difficult for most people to relax when aware that they can be over heard. I like home interviewing, when possible.</p>
<p>I agree with Consolation. No big deal if she was there because she needed to drive, or whatever, but she should have confined herself to pleasantries and then moved over to the other side of the coffee shop or whatever.</p>
<p>Maybe my Starbucks are different from yours, but we have one on every corner and they aren’t crowded enough that you’d really be overheard. And who would overhear you, anyway? All the people at any Starbucks I frequent are strangers to me and would be strangers to my kids! </p>
<p>Since he told the student his wife always attends these interviews, it’s doesn’t sound like she was there as a driver. Actually, it sounds more like she thought, " So, where else are you applying?" was a pleasantry. </p>
<p>My Starbucks are crowded and depend on when you go you might need to wait for a table but no one is listening to YOUR conversation, they are doing what people do at Starbucks (drinking coffee, meeting friends, tutoring sessions, studying, college interviews? I just know what I’ve gone to a coffee shop for and it’s not to try to pick up on what’s going on at the next table since I generally have my own ‘stuff’ to do) So yeah technically you could be overheard but I don’t that anyone is zoned in on what people at the next table are saying.</p>
<p>Cmgrayson…the interviewer TOLD the student prior to the interview that his wife was coming. That is not “springing” the wife on the interviewee. Springing would be bringing the wife unannounced. The student could have declined the interview.</p>
<p>I agree, the wife should not have been part of the conversation. She is not an alum interviewer. But really, in all likelihood, the interview was fine. </p>
<p>I can understand an interviewer saying to a student when meeting somewhere, especially, say a female meeting a male in some far flung are in some locales, that “i always bring my wife”, as reassurance, so that if a parent gets a little concerned, that is out there. Perhaps some concerns were aired. The wife coming is fine. No problem. He could have brought his whole frigging family, neighbors and a band to boot. But they are not welcome to sit in on the interview. The student’s interview is with the alum, not his wife. Where does one end this? Really, though I was being facetious with the band, would having some buddies or his kids, (ok, say they are all alums) join the party be ok too?</p>
<p>Kids going to the interviews are nervous anyways often feeling that any little thing will tank their chances. And who knows, it could. A bad write up so notation of something just might tip it over, though from what I understand, most interviewers cannot tip a student into an accept. But whatever the reality, the interviewer tends to hold the cards in this situation, sitting in a power position. In such situations, it’s really inconsiderate to throw in other things to the process, like another person.</p>
<p>But, if that 's the way a college wants to play it, then “them’s the rules”. However, my guess, is if it’s reported, they would not condone this. They should be told that this alum is actively including his wife in the interview process. I doubt the kid will want to complain, being to afraid to raise any issues at all.</p>
<p>I think he should be reported - after decisions are in - but in a nice, gentle way - not a guns-a-blazin’ way. </p>
<p>So since this is a counselor and not a parent, cannot the counselor simply call the school and inquire as to whether they consider this an acceptable practice. Maybe, even do it anonymously.</p>
<p>Loaded words like grilling and springing seem odd coming from a counselor .btw.</p>
<p>I guess it depends on your community but the coffee-shop sites many interviewers are using are also high school hangouts. It would not surprise me to hear that a student had an interview and there were kids from her school sitting nearby. In any case it’s ridiculous to think that anything being said in one of those establishments can be considered confidential.</p>
<p>Schools are probably glad to have alums who will take the time to do this work. men often trust wives as good judges of character and other non-verbal communications. Asking a Q that puts somebody on the spot is interviewing 101. You dont care about the answer–just how they handle the tough questions. </p>