Intestines Exposed By Violent Thrusts! The Innards Removed, Dissecting The Guts!

<p>Those are the first two sentences of an essay I just wrote. It's unpolished as of now, but reply if you'd like to read it and give me your opinion of what I have so far.</p>

<p>Oops, the capslock got censored. Well, that title is all in caps. :D</p>

<p>It sounds gruesomey. Feel free to PM me, but I'm pretty sure you will get your essay readers attention with that beginning. Is this about an internship you have done?</p>

<p>No, no, nothing like that... I'll send it. Thank you!</p>

<p>I sent you a PM back. Good Job! Someone else will hopefully ask to read it too!</p>

<p>pm me .</p>

<p>Haha, sounds like Edgar Allen Poe's works. I'll critique it if you want.</p>

<p>Definitely poetic, but a bit macabre lol.
Feel free to PM, I like this sort of stuff XD</p>

Just read it.
I think it's fabulous and I like the way you intertwined your daily life into your passion for metal. It was funny (especially the part about the classmates), and it's definitely unique since you did point out that you are a girl - an individual who appreciates this type of art while others would simply disregard it as "noise".
I'd love to read up your polished one :D</p>

<p>Thank you very much! </p>

<p>As I told VintageRose, I read somewhere that a good college essay should take 20 hours of work... so I've got 19.25 hours of polishing left, haha. : ] I'm going to add more description to the first para and further develop the main one, the second-to-last. </p>

<p>Thanks again. (:</p>

<p>I just read it.</p>

<p>To me, it's kind of overboard and intense, but that's just my opinion. Overall, I think it's an awesome essay! I'm not sure what the admissions officer will say about it though, lol.</p>

<p>Sure. =] PM it.</p>

<p>Hee hee I wonder if you are planning to be a doctor?</p>

<p>Hahaha, I really want to see this. Could you PM me? I'll be sure to critique it.</p>

<p>I'm feeling the cannibal corpse/slayer influence.</p>

<p>PM me.
10 char</p>

<p>got my attention, sure PM it to me</p>