<p>Greetings! </p>
<p>I have a bit of a situation. Basically, and without going into too much detail, my girlfriend is very vocal during climax. </p>
<p>Now, I live in a special kind of dorm/ apt that is for upper classmen only. It is called Lewis and Clark. We each have our own room, but my two roommates get very jealous of me when they hear her.</p>
<p>They are like Lewis and Clark, and she is like the Louisiana purchase, ie. these filthy perverts want to explore her.</p>
<p>I'm wondering if anyone knows any magic spells that can make them morbidly obese so they can't fit through my doorway anymore? Since I'm like the indians, I tried wearing a ghost shirt... it didn't work. I'm assuming that was too obvious.</p>
<p>It doesn't seem like there are many here into the paranormal, but it's worth a try.</p>
<p>Merry Christmas!</p>