<p>I knew that going to an elite university would mean I would be surrounded by intellectual people who love learning. I was excited for that, and still am. However, I did not realize how intimidating and terrifying it could be. </p>
<p>One class in particular, my freshman writing seminar, contains the smartest young adults I have ever come into contact with. In that class (The Cultural Politics of Reproduction), we read a number of articles, essays, and other academic writings each week; write papers; and discuss the material. I am very confident with my writing skills and have no problem articulating what I want to say in my papers. I have consistently gotten good grades on all my writing.</p>
<p>However, twice a week we meet and discuss the reading and topics we are covering. Everybody in the class is so intellectual and they are all able to analyze the readings in a way I am not. More than that, they are able to orally articulate their opinions and standpoints in such a poignant way. By the time I have formulated a coherent and articulate thought in my head, somebody else has already said it. If I come up with something to say and nobody else has said it yet, I assume it’s a stupid or impertinent thought and don’t say it anyway. Every once in a while, I will contribute an idea in the discussion, but the grad student who leads the class always shoots down my idea and I feel as though everyone is staring at me and thinking I am unintelligent. I think about my stupid remark the rest of the week and, consequently, rarely ever participate in class.</p>
<p>Has anybody else had this experience of complete intimidation and culture shock? In high school, I was never afraid to speak in class or give my opinion because I was never intimidated and I was confident that what I had to say was intelligent. Coming from my high school, where only 25% of students went on to a 4-year college, to an Ivy League university has been both rewarding and terrifying. I love finally being surrounded by intellectuals, but is there a way for me to not get so anxious about contributing ideas around them? </p>
<p>You’ll get over this. Soon you’ll be in a discussion class in which many of the other students will say things that you consider to be obvious and stupid–it’s just luck of the draw.</p>
<p>Now that you know how the discussion is likely to flow, try preparing a couple of stock answers before class meets. If you’re one of the first people to participate, then you can “get away with” a less in-depth answer. And remember, if your writing is getting graded positively, then your thoughts are certainly “good enough.”</p>
<p>I don’t know your gender, but many women find the structure of college discussions challenging because they are inherently confrontational, which is not a traditional female communication style. The academic world has a very masculine, competitive way of interacting, where ideas are challenged and shot down. Women often take this personally and prefer a more supportive environment. (Or it could be that your TA is just a jerk!)</p>
<p>Just keep participating. Don’t let other people intimidate you. Learn to defend your opinions and take their challenges as just that, challenges that will help you grow as a person.</p>
<p>Unless you’re exaggerating the instructor’s behavior, it seems like his attitude is a big part of your reluctance to participate. My suggestion is to go into his office hours or talk to him after class, and without getting confrontational or trying to blame him, explain that you’ve been trying to participate more regularly in class. Then ask for some feedback on your class participation and strategies on how to improve your participation.</p>
<p>My other hint is just to laugh at yourself (but not out loud) when he shoots down your comments. That’ll help with the dwelling. Try not to take yourself too seriously. If he shoots down your comments, he probably shoots down your classmates’ too, but it’s human nature to focus on your own shortcomings. Good luck!</p>
<p>Anyway, I honestly feel for you. I feel the same way, except my writing instructor seems a lot nicer and more understanding than yours. I talked to him, and I said that I was feeling kind of overwhelmed because I felt that by the time I thought of something to say, someone else had said it, or the class had moved on to a different discussion. He told me that it’s perfectly fine to add on to what someone else said or go back to a previous discussion. He also said that not everything you say has to be some insightful, thought-provoking analysis; you can share a passage that stood out to you even just to say it stood out, and then other people can share their thoughts on it. You’re all trying to learn from each other (hopefully). </p>
<p>@stradmom I am a female, and I agree that the typical confrontational style of these discussions is freaking me out, especially when it is a male confronting me. I would love to be a strong, independent, confrontational woman – but I guess I am not yet there! I will try to come up with specific discussion points prior to class and hope that speaking right at the start of class will ease my nerves a bit.</p>
<p>@sungoose My TA is actually a woman. She is very nice and I really do like her. I know she’s not trying to be mean; she’s just trying to push us to think harder and analyze deeper. While it seems to be working for the majority of the other students, perhaps the next time I go to her office hours I will mention to her that this particular style is not helpful to me. I did previously anonymously mention to her that having smaller group discussions was less intimidating and she was receptive to and implemented that idea, so perhaps talking to her again would be helpful.</p>
<p>I’m not a college student, but I’ve heard about others who have experienced similar things A lot of kids at universities aren’t used to being around such intelligent peers and it is in fact a bit of a culture shock at university, especially at an Ivy League. To be honest, I don’t think that your ideas are as stupid as you think they are. I know I sometimes feel a similar vibe, it is internally demoralizing when I hear lots of kids presenting intelligent arguments and I can’t make something up to “compare” to them.</p>
<p>The fact you are at an Ivy League, or any university for that matter means you are intelligent. I doubt your peers will think you to be unintelligent for presenting a, what you perceive to be, “unintelligent” argument. I am usually pretty introvert in discussions, esp. in English, but when I get used to participating often I can’t keep my mouth shut. When you just speak your mind, it will flow off the tongue better and you will feel more comfortable asking / discussing what really matters to you. At least, that’s how it works for me.</p>
<p>A little off topic, but it is a good idea to get used to that type of discussion, because I have found it to happen a lot in the real world! I am a structural engineer and and have to deal with contractors and engineers of other disciplines who think they know better than me how to design a building. I used to be intimidated by some of these guys (yes, they all happen to be guys in my experience), but as I get older, I’m not so shy about speaking up and letting them know when they’re wrong.</p>
<p>Another factor to consider is introversion–OP, do you feel you are an introvert? Extraverts think by talking out loud, so are often first and quickest to participate. Introverts typically need to formulate their thoughts internally before they are ready to state them. If this is a factor, it may be worthwhile pointing that out to the TA and seeing if there can be space made for you to comment when you are ready.</p>
<p>@MaineLonghorn I agree that these sorts of scenarios will most likely come up again in both my academic and professional careers. I am hoping by the time I enter the professional world I will be used to these types of discussions and will no longer feel intimidated by peers or colleagues.</p>
<p>@sudsie Yes, in settings such as this one I definitely would consider myself an introvert. Formulating thoughts in my head is a big part of what’s holding me back from saying them. That may also be worth mentioning to my TA; thank you.</p>
<p>Should her boss grant her that same privilege? As ML said earlier, this type of discussion is common in the real world. Introversion can be a weakness wrt class discussions. Talking to the TA isn’t the best way to handle that situation.</p>
<p>Instead, always be over-prepared. Formulate the thoughts before you go to the discussion. You’ll learn to think on your feet, but for the first few classes know exactly what you’re going to say before you say it. Bring a piece of paper/a pad to write down what the other people are saying, write a brief outline of your response while they’re talking, and start your rebuttals with something along the lines of “Sam said [Sam’s point]; however, [your point]”, and use your reiteration of Sam’s point to collect your thoughts and transform the ideas into sentences.</p>
<p>That’s how I (an introvert) survived model UN in high school, and it works in my college discussion classes/clubs. Once you do it enough it comes naturally and you can be an introvert but perform like an extravert.</p>
<p>I think the suggestions to speak up earlier and research stuff beforehand were good ones: the more you talk in class, the more people will assume you know what you’re talking * about*. Fake it until you make it, basically. I consider myself introverted as well, but in class discussions I try to be one of the first to contribute and usually think out loud, letting my train of thought guide me. Sometimes I ramble, but sometimes I come up with insightful things to discuss. </p>
<p>Try to talk slowly and clearly (I know I have a tendency to rush when I feel like I have nothing interesting to contribute, which exacerbates the situation). Trust me, everyone’ll be so busy thinking of ways to creatively analyze the topic themselves that they’ll hardly be judging what you have to say. In fact, they might be worrying about the same thing! </p>
<p>As a last resort…If you can’t blind them with brilliance, baffle them with BS But really, you’re very articulate in your posts and I feel like you’re being a bit hard on yourself–remember that you’re just as capable as all the other Ivy League students in your class, and that you’re there for a reason. </p>
<p>A good boss very well will work with an introvert…As others blurt out their ideas, the boss will go around after and ask Introvert what they think.</p>
<p>I feel the same way. Since I don’t have much of an extensive vocabulary (since I transferred to my current university from community college, I never had to take the ACT or SAT), and I’m not good at recalling information on the spot, I always feel intimidated by my smarter classmates. </p>
But really, you’re very articulate in your posts and I feel like you’re being a bit hard on yourself–remember that you’re just as capable as all the other Ivy League students in your class, and that you’re there for a reason. </p>
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