Invent the Perfect Chance Thread

Chance Me / Match Me
1

<ul>
<li>High School: Thomas Jefferson High School for Science and Technology</li>
<li>Rank: 1/576</li>
<li>African American, first generation college student from Somalia, Orphaned at the age of 10 after parents died in freak goat herding accident, raised and financially supported family with internet entrepreneurial business selling homemade supercomputers</li>
<li>GPA: 4.0/4.8</li>
<li>SAT: 800/800/800 (12) –> 1600/2400 (first time taking a standardized test, did not cancel my score despite having taken the test while suffering a bout of tuberculosis)</li>
<li>SAT2: Math2:800 Chem:800 Physics:800 French:800 Spanish:800</li>
</ul>

<p>Frosh Year:
AP Bio 5
AP Statistics 5
AP English Language 5
AP US History 5
AP French 5
AP Physics C 5</p>

<p>Sophomore Year:
AP Chem 5
AP Calc BC 5
AP English Literature 5
AP Spanish Language 5
AP Euro 5
AP Psych 5</p>

<p>Junior Year:
IB Spanish HL 7
IB Econ HL 7
IB Mathematics 7
IB History HL 7
IB Psych HL 7
IB Envirosci HL 7</p>

<p>Senior Year:
IB Biology Hl 7
IB Physics HL 7
IB Chemistry HL 7
TOK 7
IB English 7
Multivariable Calc</p>

<p>Awards:

  • ISEF Finalist
  • Nobel Prize for inventing a cure for AIDS made from recycled cat feces
  • perfect score on the USAMO test
    -NCTE writing contest winner
  • Olympic World Champion in spelunking
  • All American Basketball
  • International AP Scholar
  • Knighted by the Queen of England (a close personal friend)</p>

<p>EC’s:

  • This summer: TASP, genetically engineering people that urinate energy efficient fuel - will be published in The New York Times, National Geographic, Science, and Glamour magazines
  • Varsity Basketball, National Champions, will be recruited to D1 schools DESPITE the fact that i am only 3 feet tall and have suffered crippling achondroplasia my whole life
  • Built my own soup kitchen out of entirely recycled tires, feeds over 500 people daily
  • Extreme mountain climbing (summited Kilimanjaro last weekend while trying to find a quiet place to concentrate on my latest mathematical theorem)
  • have been heavily solicited by movie studios who desire my intoxicatingly soothing voice for animated movie cameos</p>

<p>Could someone chance me for the University of Southern Virginia?</p>

2

<p>0%. UVAll just assume youre applying to, and will go to, harvard. </p>

<p>you need to apply yourself more.</p>

<p>PS weak ECs</p>

<p>PS: LOL
recycled tires?!?</p>

3

<p>Lol, this was great. Thanks for the laugh, I really needed it!</p>

4

<p>Lmfaooo!!</p>

<p>This was sooooo funny!</p>

5

<p>hahahahahah soo funny</p>

6

<p>2400 SAT? What a nub. Mine’s OVER 9000!!!</p>

7

<p>Oh, you’re reasonably impressive, I suppose… but French and Spanish are such common languages. If it were Arabic, Chinese, Hebrew, Korean, or the Tlingit language… well, maybe we could put you on the waiting list. But as it is, I’m afraid not… :P</p>

8

<p>Well, it all looks good but you need a hook.</p>

9

<p>This was hilarious haha.</p>

10

<p>sorry but im going to have to one-up you =).</p>

<p>pretty funny</p>

11

<p>“Oh, you’re reasonably impressive, I suppose… but French and Spanish are such common languages. If it were Arabic, Chinese, Hebrew, Korean, or the Tlingit language… well, maybe we could put you on the waiting list. But as it is, I’m afraid not… :P”</p>

<p>Better yet, Klingon, Elvish, and whatever the language was from Avatar.</p>

12

<p>Haha thanks for the laugh</p>

13

<p>Really funny! Great thread topic. I am laughing so hard, especially at your Nobel Prize invention.</p>

14

<p>Two thumbs up, provided a much needed laugh.</p>

15

<p>What the hell?</p>

16

<p>"Better yet, Klingon, Elvish, and whatever the language was from Avatar. "</p>

<p>That was Na’vi. But all those languages are reasonably commonly learned by the uber-geek. What would be really impressive would be Tho Fan. Or possibly Vulcan or Romulan, since those languages are only partially constructed and they’d have to build the rest of it themselves…</p>