<p>Where do all you reasonable people live? I want to be your friend. I will happily attend one shower for each of your daughters and you will do the same for mine. I truly don’t understand the constant stream of showers, couples parties, engagement parties ad infinitum that goes on in my neck of the woods. And these are not for blushing brides but rather for couples who have been maintaing a household for a number of years. A party or 2 before the wedding? -Fine, just don’t ask us all to shower them with expensive presents every time we turn around.
(Whew!, thanks!)</p>
<p>Northeastmom, no need to be sorry — You’re just a normal, reasonable woman who would never think of inviting a guest to three showers for the same bride. I think it’s part of the growing selfishness in our society. I read Miss Manners & continually shocked to hear of the boorish people out there, sending invitations asking for cash gifts, inviting friends to engagement parties & charging a per person fee, and other craziness.</p>
<p>Oh, I would be so embarrassed to put someone into that situation. I assume that the bride does not realize that a guest was invited 3 times (at least I hope that she did not intentionally do this).</p>
<p>Miss Manners is my idol!</p>
<p>And I love Jym’s idea, if you go to the other showers, of bringing candles with a note to say they go with the candlesticks.</p>
<p>I think it’s ridiculous to go to all 3 showers and feel you have to bring a “little something” to “show” everyone that you already got the bride a really nice gift for another shower. I guess if you’re looking for ideas though, you could buy her a coffeemaker and for each additional shower bring a can of gourmet coffee and let everyone know that it’s to go with the Cuisinart coffeemaker you gave her 2 showers ago. OTOH, why should you need to prove to the other guests that you’ve already given the bride a pricey gift for a previous shower?</p>
<p>Thanks all. To clarify: Shower #1 included a group of parents and (now teenagers) that the bride-to-be cared for/taught over the years. The “shower” was a “working” event where the teens helped her decorate the poles for her chuppa (the canopy used at a Jewish wedding) and personalizing the bride and groom chairs, used in the chair dance. The bride’s intention was to have the teens, all of whom were a big part of her life and vise-versa, be a part of the wedding and memories. That is why shower #1 was earlier than expected. Shower #2 being hosted by close friends and is for couples (my husband is not thrilled at the idea of going to a wedding shower). Shower #3 is hosted by the brides family, who we are quite close with. That is how we ended up invited to 3 and I think it is just an odd coincidence. </p>
<p>Having said that, H has already nixed the couples shower, so that is out 
and I like the idea of candles to go with the candlesticks…for shower #3.</p>
<p>Thanks all for your input!!!</p>
<p>I always wonder who thought it was a good idea to start inviting men to showers. Who wants them there anyway?! :D</p>
<p>One gift with three parts, like the candle idea, would solve your situation. Maybe a linin set (table cloth, placemats, napkins and napkin rings - but give it separately) - something like that. I wouldn’t feel obligated to go all out for all three (or even obligated to attend all three - that’s up to you)</p>
<p>You could do several pairs of candles…red for Valentines, white for anny dinners, have your kids makes beeswax candles for her (the large crafts stores sell beeswax) … a candle snuffer could be the 3rd gift…</p>
<p>Also, I really love “personal” gifts for my summer sitters…ie recipe box with some of your recipes that are your family’s favorites…</p>
<p>A copy of Cook’s Illustrated and a subscription to it…</p>
<p>Measuring spoons shaped like hearts…</p>
<p>think of things you like to use around your own home…you could order a box of monogrammed paper cocktail napkins with her first initial, his last initial in the middle, larger, and then his first initial? I think you can order a lot of those via a web site that they can use the first year for entertaining…</p>
<p>My favorite shower gift years ago was a big spaghetti pot…but I put a really sexy piece of lingere inside!! got lots of laughs…</p>
<p>Very creative gift ideas maineparent!</p>