Isn’t he “miserable” in his daily life now? I heard some residency program kinds of front-loads the necessary training (i.e., accelerates the training by demanding more out of these interns early-on) and therefore the training is more intense or even grueling in the first year or two. (e.g., work schedule could be as long as 13+ hours in one session, sleep starvation, occasionally no lunch break – somewhat similar to military training I guess.) Likely not a good time to start a romantic relationship.
The problem with a large multi-year gap, particularly today, is the differences of history, music, technology experiences. H is only 3 years older than I am, but even with that, he’ll sometimes talk about something and I’m like, “uh, I was in the the 8th grade when that was going on. I was watching the Brady Bunch.”
Nowadays, it doesn’t take many years for you to feel like a younger (or older) person is from another generation.
Interesting. I see it totally opposite, m2ck. I feel like technology makes the gaps less apparent. After all, if there were some cultural reference made that you didn’t know – boom, it’s at your fingertips. You don’t have to hope that Fresh Prince comes on TV to see what all the fuss is about; you can binge-watch it all night.
Hmm…this reminds me of what DS said last year when he was pulled into some event by another of his friends (most students there were undergraduates): “I feel I am old around those UG students. By and large, my interest is no longer the same as most of them.” He was likely at least 2 years younger than the male friend of OP is now, and most of those UG students were likely not freshmen in college.
I only have sons but if one of them was a freshman in college and he told me he was dating a women 7 years older… I would be very worried about him. While it may turn out ok for you I would be very careful…
It may also depend on how much experience dating each person has. An 18 year old who has had a boyfriend/girlfriend for 2 or 3 years, or has dated a lot may be equal in power to a 25 year old who has never dated.
I’d advise to just go slow.
I married my physician husband when I was 23 and he was 30 after two and a half years of dating. We have been married for 25 years. Obviously, I don’t think seven years is significant. I dated two other older guys prior to him as well, one seriously and one not so much.
This type of decision really depends on the people involved and needs to be assessed on a case by case basis.
Is the main thing that you like about him, that he is different from the college guys you are surrounded with?
What about college juniors?
Did you find him/he find you on Tinder?
@mcat2 He doesn’t work that many hours each day, he isn’t at the beginning either. But he is fairly busy during the day. Takes one weekend day for himself and one to go out and socialize.
I think a big issue for an 18 year old girl and a 25+ year old man is that you are at such different stations in life. He may be ready to seriously think about marriage and children, while you @CaliCash haven’t even finished the first semester of the program at the college that you fought so hard to get to go to last year both in gaining admission and an affordable financial package.
Go slow and don’t give up what you have worked hard to gain.
Yes, if he’s the right guy, he will still be the right guy for you to date after a few semesters and you’ve both had time to get to know each other AND others.
Using Common Core math, that means she could be anywhere from 13 to 21 today.
Perhaps this has been asked and answered, since I’m mid-thread, but I am now wondering: Have you actually MET this guy yet? Back and forth…talking. Have you two MET?
If not, I think I’d focus on your campus/studies/student surroundings.
@Trisherella Um… Yes lol
Update: We don’t talk anymore.
Great–time for both of you to make more friends and focus on school.
Agree with HImom!
I’m sorry Calicash, it must be hard. 