<p>In all this college looking…I think a lot back to my days in college. I used to spend my breaks in college with my grandparents. I used to live in the north, so it would be snowy and cold. I loved my grandparents so much, and miss my grandpa(he died in 2001). I think it would be nice to just experience one winter again. </p>
<p>ANYWAY…any other fond memories out there? Any other reminiscing?</p>
<p>Yes! I made S’s plane reservations yesterday and I was humming Simon & Garfunkel’s “Homeward Bound” the entire time, just like I did when I was flying home for Thanksgiving for the first time from college.<br>
I can’t believe it has been so long since then, I feel old.</p>
<p>Happykid is only about 70 minutes away, but her cousin is three hours from here and about 15 hours from her mom (my sister). I’ve become the “local aunt” and can only hope that I serve as well in that role as my mom’s sisters did back in the last century, when I was the one 15 hours from home, one to three hours from those aunts, and in desperate need of some TLC.</p>
<p>Yup. Except for me, those memories are bitter-sweet. My parents were very disconnected from my college experience, although to be fair, they did fund it. Their own college experiences were dramatically different, so they simply didn’t know how. So I did the whole college application/selection on my own and with the help of friends & their parents. I went off to college on my own, figured everything out on my own. I had to figure out what to do over Thanksgiving since I went to school too far away to go home. So I relished the whole process with my own kids. I doubt they know just how much help they got from me and DH, and how much support we offered. They take it for granted - it’s what parents do. Not that I begrudge it - I enjoyed it. But it was very different from my own experience.</p>
<p>Neither I nor my husband have ever attended a 4-yr college, whereas the parents of our daughters friends are often college profs/ or other professional scientific types.</p>
<p>I’m afraid that even though I think H & I have done pretty well if you compare us to others with our socio-economic background, but we are still lacking when compared to a family who spent last year abroad as a Fulbright scholar.</p>
<p>I’ve been thinking more about those long ago days when the girls looked up to me, I didn’t think they would ever end! Transitions are rough, & I know they will appreciate me again someday, I just hope I am around to enjoy it!</p>
<p>My parent’s detached “involvement” was similar to kataliamoms. EVERYTHING with the exception of the funds for tuition was up to me. My parents were not even exactly clear as to what I was majoring in. I spent many Thanksgivings and a few Christmas holidays up to my own devices.</p>
<p>That generation still seems moderately removed musicamusica.
We had dinner last week with the inlaws who haven’t seen our oldest since she came to Seattle for my mothers memorial service almost three years ago. They spent the whole time either talking about their vacations, their daughters dogs or another granddaughters boyfriend. ( they also gave Ds boyfriend a lecture about getting a job. He actually is in grad school, although he is working as well).</p>
<p>I do notice however that the current generation of young parents, do seem to be much more involved than their grandparents were, especially the dads.
:)</p>
<p>I just noticed that a friend added a ton of tailgating photos to her FB page. I knew her son attended that state U (which is about 2 hours away), but I didn’t realize she was an alum. When I mentioned it she said “oh no, neither H or I attended the school, but S does so we’re all in with season tickets.” </p>
<p>If I were her S I would feel like my parents were trying to butt in to my college experience. Admittedly other parents (who did attend the U) have been tailgating for years, but to me, just to become a rabid fan because your kid attends the U is odd. Maybe this generation of parents are a little TOO involved?</p>
<p>My parents didn’t even drive up for parents’ weekend and that was fine with me.</p>
<p>AllThis, by the end of last weekend, two Facebook friends had posted pictures of their entire family, all decked out in school gear, at the A&M game…and right, none are alums themselves.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>As I college student, I would have totally agreed with you…Parents, stay out of my college life! But every year I write checks to D’s school for amounts that could send H and I on a couple of fabulous vacations. Why shouldn’t parents have a fun football weekend now and then? (My own d, however, is attending a school without football.)</p>
<p>One of my kids attended my alma mater. It was fascinating to “visit” that experience again through the eyes of a different person, living in a different decade.</p>
<p>My parents were totally removed from my college experience, including tuition, parents weekend, move-in, etc. It was a small LAC, and the other parents appeared very involved. At a minimum, they certainly showed up for move-in and parents weekend. It made me sad then, and it makes me sad now. They were both college graduates too. I don’t know what they were thinking :(</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>My parents didn’t even attend my graduation! </p>
<p>Although to be fair, they did attend parents weekend and they paid for my education.</p>
<p>My mom dropped me off freshman year. From that point on, I was on my own, financially, socially, you name it. My dad never visited my campus. Noone asked for football tickets (and this was when UGA won a national championship). In the summers, I stayed in Athens. When I transferred out of UGA, I drove a U-Haul to Pennsylvania. Neither set of parents attended any of our graduations.</p>
<p>Fast forward to my kids’ college experience: I didn’t visit the UChicago campus til I went out to help S1 move in freshman year. He had been three times already, once with DH. I didn’t see the Tufts campus until after S2 had chosen it. DH had taken him up there, and S2 had returned for a solo trip after he was accepted. (In fairness, I had taken S2 to LOTS of other schools; DH did the spring break visit marathons with each of the guys.)</p>
<p>DH and I both put ourselves through school without parental help. That was not going to happen with our kids, though they would certainly have skin in the game. They knew that from about 6th grade onward.</p>
<p>Neither guy wanted us to come for parents weekend – felt it would not be worth the expense. DH got out to Chicago periodically for work and would take S1 out to dinner, and last fall we went to Boston for our anniversary and saw S2 at the same time. S2 came home for high holidays last year, but not freshman or junior year.</p>
<p>I didn’t get to attend S1’s graduation, though that was not my choice – I was still in the hospital from my heart attack. You can da** well bet I’ll be at S2’s.</p>
<p>I don’t want to be too much of a helicopter mom, so we are inclined to let the guys choose when they want us to come onto their turf. A couple hopeful signs that this has been a successful plan: S1 asked us to come out to CA to help him and his bride find an apartment, they ask us for advice on financial planning, and they decided to come back east for Thanksgiving and winter break (we did not ask them to do so).</p>
<p>Katliamom my experience has similarities to yours. I hated the college I went to. My parents were no help and very disconnected to me, even though they had experience. But, in my case, my grandparents lived just hours from my college. I loved the so much and I miss a time when I would go home to them, and stay for a month. It would be winter when I was there. It is those times I miss. There is little about the college itself or my experience there I miss. It was the times …being young, and spending that time with family, people who are no longer with us, and the winters. and so on.</p>
<p>When my son was hunting for the perfect college, I was really involved, with his approval. I found that the whole process did bring up all kinds of memories from my own college years (positive). I got in touch with several of my college friends, which was fun but, not surprisingly, I didn’t stay in touch with any I already hadn’t been in touch with over the years. We did visit my campus as well as my husband’s. Many fond memories at both places, though our son made another choice. A very happy memory from our son’s college years was that we spent Thanksgiving and Christmas with his grandparents who were also in the midwest. Very special, because these were the last years of my parents’ lives.</p>
<p>I always looked forward to being home. The 6+ hour ride home sometimes was hairy, especially since college student vehicles can be iffy. Much of the drive was through mountains in winter.</p>
<p>For the very first ride home, I walked out to the parking lot with the driver and thought - “oh please, don’t that that ancient car be it”. But actually the car, older than the college students inside it, had been treated well by the one-owner family and ran very well. </p>
<p>The truck I rode in the rest of freshman year was also of same vintage, but it showed its age. The driver had to use a shampoo bottle to manually squirt windshield fluid. To this day I have never had such a bumpy ride as that truck. The conversation was good. </p>
<p>The best story is about the van with no heat, at least no heat at the back of the van. I should have known there would be trouble when the driver told us to wear long underwear. Even with hiking boots my feet nearly froze. On the way back to school, we were pulled over. I’ve always wondered what the state trooper thought when he shined his flashlight back in the van (probably expecting drugs) and saw me and a boy huddled under blankets together.</p>