<p>The OP will certainly think this is over the top. Last weekend, between Saturday morning at 6AM and Monday night at 9PM, we drove a total of 1540 miles so we could see D2’s a cappella concert on Sunday… it lasted just under two hours.</p>
<p>However, at our high school, they definitely break up the programs into different nights. Choir concerts are never the same night (and usually not even the same week) as band concerts. Due to block scheduling, though, we don’t have a lot of kids who can manage to be in both. Our show choir always performs at choir concerts and they are accompanied by a student combo which is made up of band kids, so there are a few kids who do have to attend both. Our school has at least five different choirs (three show choirs, master singers, and a couple of other choirs), so choir concerts alone are often almost two hours. The end of the year concert often runs way over two hours as all the seniors are honored.</p>
<p>We had one who did the musicals and the choir and the concerts could seem long…loved the shows, though. Went to all the performances.</p>
<p>Now, try having a soccer kid…out at the tournament, fifty mile per hour wind, rain like icicles in your face. 8 am…game one. 11 am…game two. Hope the weather is better tomorrow. I finally broke down and bought a snowmobile suit. </p>
<p>I’m going to sound older than I really am, but enjoy it while you can. Once they’re off to college…you’ll wish you could see all those kids together again having cookies after the show.</p>
<p>I’m also a soccer mom and have sat at soccer tournaments in the rain and snow. As a ski racing mom, as well, lI have stood on the mountain in sub zero temps and windchills too. So glad we did it all.</p>
<p>Last orchestra concert is coming up soon, and I will be sad. There was a period in middle school when concerts seemed to be endless, especially the chorus. Then there was a wonderful period when the large auditorium was being restored and concerts were broken into smaller pieces. They became much more manageable in length. But in fact I know I’m missing some great music by not hearing the chorus as often - I got to hear the gospel group a while back and they were amazing. </p>
<p>As for the thought that attending concerts is akin to helicopter parenting, that’s just weird.</p>
<p>We had a few years when we had 4 winter concerts (Jr. High choir & orchestra, Sr. High band & orchestra), 4 spring concerts, Vetrans day, about 3 Jazz band performances and an All County concert. Add to that 8 weeks of Saturday night Marching Band competitions where the whole family would be gone from 2 in the afternoon to 11 at night. Did some of the concerts get a little long? You bet. The ones in the Jr High Gym were killers. My older son plays trumpet and until he joined jazz band we never even saw him. The trumpets are always seated and in the back in band and orchestra. But I can’t imagine not going. Neither of my kids are going to be professional musicians but their lives have been enriched by these experiences. With school budgets being slashed right and left we feel so fortunate to have a public school with an incredible music program. I was so proud of my older son when he started playing with the orchestra at his college! So many kids give up their instruments when they finish High School.</p>
<p>I got home from work this Friday and read this post and agreed entirely with the OP. Exhausted from a week of work, I dragged myself to my daughter’s concert tonight. But, you know what? I loved it and now I feel energized. I remember watching her when she was a freshman and now she is a junior. The kids I’ve been watching and listening to every year have grown and blossomed. The shy kid two years ago is now a senior introducing all the pieces and chatting comfortably with the audience. There are kids in the band that I remember from preschool days… </p>
<p>It is an annual rite of passage, and I’m sure that I will miss it terribly when my only child graduates next year.</p>
<p>Attending my kids’ concerts is a priority for me. I value their involvement and, even though it’s not always convenient, I get so much joy out of watching them. When I thought that D’s last HS concert conflicted with a work event that I absolutely could not miss, I was so upset (she wasn’t). However, the concert ended up on another night and I was able to make it (and video).</p>
<p>Our HS keeps it to an hour or an hour and a half, so it is palatable listening to the other groups (and they have become really impressive over the years, too!).</p>
<p>I also attend their sporting events. I just can’t tell you how good it makes me feel to watch them doing what they enjoy.</p>
<p>I know many people don’t feel that way (my H certainly doesn’t) – maybe it’s a family thing. My parents are thrilled when their holiday trips here can include a concert.</p>
<p>I attended many concerts with multiple ensembles, and generally loved them. But in all cases they were organized so that each group performed for about 20 minutes, a little longer for the senior goups. If the band director went on for an hour in a multiple-ensemble concert, s/he was being a jerk and unfair to the other directors, the kids, and the audience.</p>
<p>And I really, really resent people who leave as soon as their kid has performed. Yes, occasionally it is necessary for some reason. But it can’t be necessary for 30% of the wind ensemble parents, which is what used to happen at some of our concerts. The director eventually began to include a statement that it was discouraging for the other players to see the audience disappear, and people should remain. Things improved. Until then, I was tempted to deliberately take my seat late so as to reduce the audience for the wind ensemble in revenge. :D</p>
<p>I observed that it was the parents of the string players who were most dedicated and dutiful in attendance and volunteering. Apparently all those years of Suzuki trained us well. :D</p>
<p>I am a parent who is sick and disgusted with parents who leave in the middle of a performance as soon as their DS or DD is finished with the performance. It is rude. If you just wanted to hear your kid play, then you should just have your kid play for you at home and not bother to go. There is nothing worse then to be the last one on the program playing for half empty auditorium.</p>
<p>oldfort: I totally agree with you. What happened to manners?</p>
<p>I had the pleasure of attending commencement at the University of Michigan last Saturday. The speaker was the President of the United States. Whether you believe in his policies or not, it was quite an experience to be there. I had taken a young niece who after the President gave his speech and a large number of people left, she asked me “are we staying until the end”? I pointed out to her that the President was sitting on that podium until the end and I was pretty sure he was far busier and more important than she was.</p>
Been there, done that. I had three sons. Not only did they play baseball, but also soccer which were the same season. There were a total of 15 sporting events a week, plus spring plays and concerts. </p>
<p>I can’t wait until my grandchildren are old enough to participate so I can go back to that.</p>
<p>I realize different strokes for different folks but I am surprised and even saddened by parents who don’t wish to attend their kids’ events. </p>
<p>I also think it is rude to leave a concert after your child’s section is over. Support your child but also be the audience and support for the group of kids. If the parent community won’t support them, who will?</p>
<p>Also for performing arts, in particular, the nature of it, requires an audience. Students rehearse so that they can perform for someone. A sport (which I also think parents should support and attend) at least can be played without an audience.</p>
<p>I am really going to miss attending my kids events. (even the multiple weekend baseball and hockey tourneys) I am also going to miss the parents because over the years many of us have become good friends. </p>
<p>I will always feel sorry for my H and his attitude about attending the kids events. Somehow he always found something “more important” to do. I cannot think of anything more important than supporting your kids and while he was working late or spending time on hobby x or y - I had the joy of watching my kids. (his reasoning is sad “my dad never went to any of my events”)</p>
<p>Gotta say…if you really HATE these shows…don’t go. Find a parent who is more appreciative of the hard work and dedication of the performers and directors and let you kid carpool with them. It’s abundantly rude to think that these concerts are “all about your one kid”. They are the culmination of months of hard work for these students. If you don’t want to go…then don’t go…but I’ll tell you…that sends a sad message to YOUR kid about what they have accomplished.</p>
<p>About leaving early - my D was in orchestra, and also a ballet dancer. The winter concert at the HS was always the same night as Nutcracker rehearsal the week of the performance. Especially when she was younger and couldn’t drive, our routine was to have her on the ballet stage until the last possible moment, then drive to the HS (luckily not too far, but too far to walk because of both distance and safety).</p>
<p>She would throw her orchestra dress over her leotard, do the orchestra warm up/rehearsal, then perform. Luckily orchestra always went first. I always sat toward the back on the end so I could get up quietly. </p>
<p>As soon as orchestra was done, I would meet her in the orchestra room. One year she freaked out several members of the orchestra when she started pulling off her dress in front of everyone - they didn’t realize she was wearing her tights and leotard underneath.</p>
<p>The week was also during final exams - they even had a study room at the ballet where all the older dancers were when they weren’t on stage. Some dancers were in college and were studying for their final exams too!</p>
<p>It was hectic, but we managed. Now she’s in college, and my sophomore son doesn’t dance so I get to stay for the entire concert!</p>
<p>soozievt and thumper1: I totally agree with you.</p>
<p>kajon: I am in the same boat. I wouldn’t miss my kids events for anything. And I can’t imagine how much H has hurt them by not going. I stopped making excuses a long time ago. When they asked why dad wasn’t coming, I just said, “ask him.”</p>
<p>My H also drags his feet on attending my kids’ concerts and plays. One time when he DID go, S later asked me, “Was Dad OK? I saw him in the audience with his head in his hands!” Arghh. He’s a wonderful father, otherwise, so I wish I could convince him that this is an important part of his role.</p>
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