<p>I loved going to school concerts and I miss them. Both of my kids were in band – my son for six years and my daughter for nine. I only missed one concert, and that was because I had a broken leg. </p>
<p>My daughter is in a musical ensemble at college, and it bothers me that I don’t get to go to her concerts. She has given me CDs of a couple of them, but it just isn’t the same. Sometimes I wish she were attending a college closer to home – just so I could go to the concerts.</p>
<p>Is there a term for “band geek mom”? Because I certainly was one.</p>
<p>In truth I don’t miss the band/chorus concerts. I sat through them Grades 3-12 for both kids, and although I was tempted, didn’t bolt in the middle of the concert. Yes, I appreciated the hard work that went into these events, and so I attended and was supportive, but I didn’t really enjoy the concerts. Many were way too long.</p>
<p>I do miss the sporting events, a lot. I was friendly with many of the parents in the stands and I miss the socializing and cheering for the kids. </p>
<p>A big part of enjoying it, for me, is that my kids are in it. I love seeing what they have worked on. My husband also loves it. He misses it so much that he sometimes wants to go back to the high school to see these same events even though our kids are long out of it!</p>
<p>2 concerts this week – looking forward to Jazz, dreading the Concert bands. Part of it is that my S loves Jazz and the instructor is great, one of the top bands in the state. S begs us not to come to the Concert Bands (we will go, anyway), since they are not so good and the kids don’t care.</p>
<p>I love going to the sporting events. Worst thing is Winterguard. EVERY Saturday between mid January and April. Same groups, same songs, same routines every week. You never tire of a couple of the really good ones, but the bad ones just seem to get worse.</p>
<p>Tomorrow is the annual Mother’s Day Concert for our top show choir. Last year, then-freshman son auditioned and the new choir members sang one song and helped serve at the reception, so I attended for the first time.</p>
<p>At the end, the members (about 10 girls and 10 boys) sing a Russian song about mothers loving their children and children loving their mothers, and the members bring a rose to their mothers (or parents/guardians) to serenade them. Everybody cries. I watched last year (and cried, since I knew so many of the kids and their families) and realized in horror that I have this to look forward to for the next three years.</p>
<p>A year later - Mother’s Day is tomorrow, the concert is at 5 pm. I will wear water-proof mascara and bring lots of tissues! My son told me not to be offended if he doesn’t cry - he says he doesn’t cry easily. I hope he doesn’t, because if he does, it will only make it worse!</p>
<p>I didn’t have musicians/thespians in my home but had 2 athletes. Football, wrestling and lacrosse from the age of 5 through college (for S1, S2 until HS graduation). Sitting at all the practices and games/matches. Wrestling - you sit in a hot, sweaty, smelly gym from 6-7 am until 5 -6 pm and if you’re lucky, your son wrestles longer than a few minutes per match.
I miss it! My parents never came to any of my athletic events and I was going to make sure I didn’t miss my kids’ activities. My vacation time was planned around their schedules because I enjoyed it, every single minute.</p>
<p>Actually, I loved going to them. When D played in her last chamber recital last year AND played a song the group had played since 4th grade AND one that I absolutely loved, I started to heave and sob and gag. I think people thought I was having a heart attack. The teacher started to cry, the kids didn’t know what to do. I really missed them this year.</p>
<p>college_query: re ballet, too funny. My S ran track and always seemed to be in the final event at meets. When he had to get to a youth symphony rehearsal right afterward, I told him to keep running past the finish line straight to the car in the parking lot! A friend of his used to go to his violin lessons wearing his football pads. :)</p>
<p>I must say, after years of Suzuki recitals, I did get to the point where I thought I would scream if I heard The Happy Farmer one more time. :D</p>
<p>I physically could not go to all of my kids concerts due to conflicts. That is a drawback of having so many kids in so many activities. Even these days with my older ones out of school, we find our schedules overlapping with events.</p>
<p>I enjoyed most of the concerts and school events I attended. Yes, there were a few that were just not well put together. Where I had some problems were with some of the sports games. Some of my kids were not first string which meant they did not play at all at some very long games, and I am just not a sports person. Just there to support my child and would not have been there if he weren’t there. Now for some performing arts events, I’ve attended even without a child in them. I just enjoyed them for what they are. And I’ve attended some sports event that were considered a big deal school spirit thing, as a support for my children’s schools and their interests. </p>
<p>I can see that it can be difficult to sit and watch and listen if performing arts and kids are not your cup of tea. Sports is not mine, so there is an element of duty in my attendence to some of those events. But, ya know, now that the kids are older, it’s nice remembering even some of their classmates at school performances. Sort of a sense of community. Not that every second was a pleasure at every one of those events, but I will miss going when my youngest is done. I may go anyways, just to watch the other kids.</p>
<p>For all of the concerts and athletic events we attended, I will say the highlight of my kids’ time in high school was being able to sit down to dinner with them and talk and not have to rush off to some event. Activities = $$$; dinners = priceless</p>
<p>Separate concerts for each area (band, orchestra, choir) at our kid’s independent school. Each area has 2-4 groups performing, though. But the concerts are generally done in 65-70 minutes. I think it might be a rule imposed after a particularly grueling 2+ hour lower school music night when D1 was in K at her K-12 school (back before we had the air conditioned auditorium, too). I have never been to a school concert longer than 70 minutes since that one.</p>
<p>I think maybe the person complaining about parents being too involved might have been talking about expecting the kid to study while their group wasn’t performing. While there have been times when I might have liked to see that happen, I am a realist, and know that it would be VERY unlikely.</p>
<p>Another point to be made is what we teach our kids with the attitude that we don’t want to go to these things? I had a parent once tell me that she was very disappointed that her son quit track. I didn’t say anything but thought to myself “but you never, once, went to watch”. It seemed to me, and I know there are exceptions, that the kids who excelled in these activities had parents in the stands. Maybe parents only go watch when their kid is the star? I doubt it. I think the kid feels appreciated and shown that their efforts are worthwile and puts more effort in.</p>
<p>Why don’t all of you, who miss these concerts so much, keep attending? You don’t have to have a student participating. I’m sure the OP, like myself, always attends, but it can get to the point where it’s not enjoyable anymore. I blame the music director. My son’s show choir sings the same songs over and over again, with 25%, at most, being new material. Then you’ve got the same two girls who always have to sing a solo. Often times they sing the solo they just sang in the high school musical. When my son announced he was quitting the show choir senior year, I secretly breathed a sigh of relief.</p>
<p>Toledo, I DO go to some of the high school music events and continued to actually WORK at a major fundraiser for four years AFTER my youngest graduated (she never played in this event…so it actually was 7 years after my older child finished). I am still on the email list for our music groups and I love going when I can. </p>
<p>BUT I don’t think <em>I</em> can take the place of a parent of a child who is performing who doesn’t come. I feel badly for kids who have put in so much time and effort only to have no one from their family in the audience. I know there are conflicts…but I also know parents who NEVER came to a school event. Oh well…different strokes for different folks.</p>
<p>Count me in as one that still attends… not all concerts, but I do go. I also still attend all the high school plays. Have also continued to make annual anonymous donations to the theatre department since D2 has been gone (the theatre director knows it’s me, but I ask him not to make it publicly known).</p>
<p>Toledo, my daughter was in show choir, too, and I know what you mean about watching the same show over and over again throughout the year. When they’re at a competition, I sat through every show she’s in because I wanted to know how they performed compared to what the judges are saying. When they performed as part of a concert in their own school, they’re often less stressed out and can give an entirely different kind of performance - they’re having more fun.</p>
<p>We’ve always enjoyed our kids concerts/plays/performances. Heck we even buy tickets to the school play even if our kids aren’t in it! </p>
<p>We enjoy seeing them, but also their classmates (who we have come to know and watch grow over many many years). We enjoy watching their sporting events, reading their essays, seeing the films they’ve created and so on. To us parents and grandparents in our family, it is the joy of parenting. Maybe our lives are boring to some, but really, what else would we be doing? Watching TV or surfing on CC? lol.</p>
<p>I suppose I’d feel differently if the kids weren’t into it and hadn’t anticipated the big night, but then I’m make them quit and stop wasting everyone’s time (including their own). But given they are into it, the reality is everyone needs an audience (our kids and the other kids), and we provide one. It’s not just about our kid. Tons and tons of adults- coaches, teachers, club supervisors, parents- have nurtured our kids, supported them, been there for them in a myriad of ways. It is the least we can do to give back. And it’s part of belonging to a caring community and to me that is far more important that a lot of the nonsense we waste our time on.</p>
<p>My reaction to the OP’s complaint is completely different. </p>
<p>I spent 12 years listening to nightly practicing, as well as eagerly attending each and every one of countless individual recitals and school orchestra, band, jazz ensemble/combo and choral concerts, not to mention conservatory pre-college concerts, for my older child. I loved every minute. I cried at nearly every one of the “lasts” of his senior year. </p>
<p>S is studying music in a conservatory now, and we can’t get to most of his concerts and recitals (although listen to all recordings, it isn’t the same as being there in person!). I would love to still be able to go to all of those concerts. That was a special period of life, and it always makes me sad to hear that there are parents who dread the very concerts which I always loved and made me so proud.</p>
I have never been to a school concert longer than 70 minutes since that one.</p>