My spouse is an introvert and our social life (which he enjoys) was always up to me. Now I find it a chore to do anything- Will it be safe? Is it outside? Are the other people as careful as we are? I’m also hearing from more and more people that they are getting tired of all the virtual events. You can only take so much of that stuff.
I’m also an introvert and pretty much enjoying the built-in excuse for avoiding social events that were not all that much fun for me in the first place. And my dog walks have become much more relaxing because I have a little dog who has leash agression and always used to freak out when we walked near other people and dogs. Now I have given him the official job title of “social distance dog” – if he is yapping or barking, we’re too close. So we steer a wide berth around others, and he is so much calmer and enjoying his walk more, free from the agitation of having to confront others.
But I miss being able to travel, in particular to spend time with daughter & her husband, and my son and grandson – who are in different cities on opposite coasts. And I miss the sort of social contacts that were enjoyable for me. I always enjoyed socializing around food (pot lucks, restaurant meals). So I’m also feeling lonely a lot of the time and chafing at some of the restrictions. To make things worse, I really don’t enjoy the zoom things – yes we are doing them, but I get zoom-exhaustion pretty quickly.
I agree that many have had their fill of Zoom. Maybe we should call a Zoom hiatus until winter. 
So it’s fresh again - LOL.
I would be curious to see a poll if extroverts are finding themselves meeting introverts somewhere in the middle - that they have learned to like not doing so much.
I wonder if many of us are also suffering from low level depression?
This^^^^^
Said it much better than I could. I like doing things, I like seeing people and going out to dinner. I HATE feeling afraid ALL the time no matter what I do.
And yes! Such fatigue from not going out.
This article is spot on for me. I am an introvert, athough I can and do enjoy small talk or social things, they just drain me. So staying home was not a big adjustment for me, but I am finding now that I am really missing some interaction with people. We have not done hardly any socializing except 2 porch visits, more than 6’ apart.
From the article" “Psychologists and neuroscientists say something similar is happening to all of us now, thanks to the pandemic. We are subtly but inexorably losing our facility and agility in social situations — whether we are aware of it or not. . . . .Even if you are ensconced in a pandemic pod with a romantic partner or family members, you can still feel lonely — often camouflaged as sadness, irritability, anger and lethargy — **because you’re not getting the full range of human interactions that you need, almost like not eating a balanced diet. **We underestimate how much we benefit from casual camaraderie at the office, gym, choir practice or art class, not to mention spontaneous exchanges with strangers.”
My husband and I have been content to stay at home most of the time, since we have daily online bridge to replace our three to four times a week FTF habit. I do feel badly about avoiding calling friends, especially those who called me early in the pandemic. I have about 8 to 10 people on my list to call, but I’m lucky if I make a phone call every 7 to 10 days. When I do call, or someone calls me, we always have great conversations, but there just seems to be a sense of inertia keeping me from doing it more often. I’m lucky to be able to see my daughter, who lives in the area, once or twice a month, but I have not been able to visit my sister and brother who live about 300 miles away at all. Maybe once the weather gets nice and we figure out what to do with the dog, will make a trip.
I think I’m an outlier in that I’m not using it as an excuse- I begged off almost all social events pre covid without guilt, and it’s no different now. I really don’t prefer to spend much time with anyone beside my husband and kids, and my life is functionally not very different than it was pre-covid- besides seeing more of my kids and hubby.
Italy closed down. No Starbucks, no running to the store 5 times per week. No going more than a block from your house for walking the dog. No going to work. They locked down.
Even those who are quarantining in the US are going to the store or having others do it for them. They are still ordering from Amazon and having deliveries and mail come to their homes. Look at the back to school and travel threads and see how many people traveled across states to go back to optional in-person classes or moved to live with friends because they wanted to, not because they needed to.
Americans deemed it essential to go to Home Depot to plant flowers and get paint to have something to do while at home.
Back in May I was joking that this would make us a nation of agoraphobes. At that point, driving across my small city to meet D for a hike felt like a great adventure, as had not been anyplace but work or home neighborhood for months.
Hightide, agreed. I could not imagine sitting inside staring at the computer on a lovely summer evening and said no to my book group for the first time ever.
But I have realized that anticipated events keep my energy up in necessary ways, and taking the time to meet with friends is gives me heart in ways that are hard to describe. I don’t need restaurants, or even the musical events I used to attend. I don’t count on anyone to protect me but myself. No gatherings, no restaurants aside from take out on occasion. Take out in my back yard and distanced walks are my social life.
Work is more precious than anticipated, if still a burnout. I work part time now. But I realize how the people interactions with patients fulfill me, and I appreciate being appreciated. Endless home projects I don’t find very fulfilling and it is easy to feel a sense of failure even if getting things done as there is plenty more to do.
I guess I could be thought of as an introvert, but I am certainly not non-social. I like investing in my small circle of loved ones and friends. I’m very careful about how I spend my time and who I spend it with. Some people and social situations can be so draining to me, but I get that some people are energized by that. To each their own.
I posted on another thread a while back that, unfortunately, this quarantine lifestyle completely works for me, and it may take powerful machinery to pry me out of the house once it is safe to do so. I’m secretly loving the empty calendar and zero demands on my time. We’re missing our son terribly, and getting together with him will be our first/only priority but everything/one else, not so much. I’ve learned that I don’t ever need to enter a store or restaurant again and sporadic Family-by-FaceTime solves a world of ills.
I’m not too worried that reclusion will become the new norm. There are too many people like DH on the planet who are looking forward to rejoining society. I’m just hoping that everyone outside our family will have forgotten about me once the carousel starts spinning again.
I live alone. I would differentiate isolation and loneliness. I am relatively introverted and am rarely lonely in normal life, love spending time by myself. But near total isolation is tough. (I only see my mother at her facility, outdoors with masks, twice a week, and my kids are far away.)
This means that I really need to push myself to do anything that is social- as long as it is safe- if offered, just for sanity. So although I feel the temptation to stay inside by myself, I really have to make an effort to be MORE social due to the absolute isolation of COVID.
Pardoxically, my usual comfy introversion is being replaced by saying “yes” a lot more than usual.
Also- if I had a dog or cat, I might feel differently 
I haven’t found it difficult so far but I am constantly aware that things are changing in ways that will make it difficult or impossible to resume the life I had before. Three people who were very important in my life have died (not from Covid) and the activities that I loved that they were involved in will never be the same. As someone in one of the many publications I read on line said, most of us haven’t met anyone new in six months. I miss that.
A friend called the other day and said, “How about lunch and a movie? Just kidding, don’t want to get out of practice.”
We used to go on senior excursions (hey we’re over 65) that were so much fun but who would get on a bus now?
I still work and my kids are in town and so far so good but can we get back to normal please?
Ok one thing I’m kind of relieved about is not having to meet someone somewhere and find a place to park. I hate that.
Life would be far worse for me, if not for CC.
It was a blessing when I was living with fiancé and unhappy/lonely. Life improved when I moved back to FL, where I had better work, friends, and family. I got involved with the city library and joined a new gym, both of which activities were fulfilling.
So now, once again, I turn to CC to hear about otherS’ activities. I feel I have “friends” all over the states, with a few ex-pats too.
@ChoatieMom I think this sentence of yours sort of sums up my thought/worries:
" I’m secretly loving the empty calendar and zero demands on my time. " Secretly, are many people loving the non-commitments???
Someone else above probably says it well for me. Even though my social world was not big pre-C, I realize now that I can make it or have it even smaller and I’m ok with that. BUT - I want to be careful - there may be a time in life where the choice of being social and active with others may not be a choice. Like in old age.
I worry about these regrets.
My DH is VERY social. He has a lot of friends, and I mean a LOT. He nurtures these relationships-he puts in the work it takes to keep a relationship meaningful and ongoing. So COVID has been tough on him.
I saw this on FB and thought it was amusing and I related to it:
“I’m a big homebody, but DAMN, I did like going to one or two places.”
With so much mask compliance in my city, I feel a lot safer going out and about. At first, a trip to the grocery store was extremely stressful. Now it’s just routine. We are open to going out to eat if outside, but it’s been so hot here (Texas), that we really haven’t done it in quite a while. I’m hoping to see friends soon once the weather becomes more bearable.
We definitely slid into a comfortable stay home mode. We see a couple of good friends that keep the same kind of limited outside contacts but we see them outside on our decks or at an outside restaurant. I miss travel and seeing our grandson but DS has been good about setting up a weekly portal call so we can visit and play games with him. What I noticed now that just seeing pictures of crowded places gives me the willies and I am not sure when I will get over that.
I am a social person. I miss socializing with my mom friends over breakfast in the diner, or with my book group at a nice restaurant, or with the ladies who work at the local historic site where I volunteered, or with the people in my yoga class, or with people in the library when I attend events. These activities got me face to face with people almost everyday.
Zoom meetings just don’t work, no opportunity for cross conversations. Even after doing tons of them, they still feel awkward. Tonight my book group will be zoom because of bad weather. It is a let down for everybody who was looking forward to sitting socially distanced in a backyard and talking.
We lost our cat to kidney disease a couple of years ago, and I miss him terribly, but DH doesn’t want to get tied down to another pet at this stage of our lives. I long for a kitten. Between a cat and CC, I think I could be happy on the moon.