I have two daughters. They both had boyfriends.
Daughter 1 fit this common pattern:
This is what often happens with HS Boyfriends/Girlfriends:
You swear YOU TWO ARE DIFFERENT! You can make it work!
At first you facetime every day!
But then you realize that is annoying to your roommate/you have no privacy so you try to find times to facetime when your roommate isn’t there.
But you have classes and he has classes and you joined that club and he is on the intramural soccer team so maybe we can talk on Tuesdays.
He has that co-ed group of friends he goes out on weekends with and you have your group from the dorm.
Oh, here comes Fall break…but his is at a different weekend than yours so you can’t get together…
There is that one person in the group that you/he kind of likes…but you have girl/boyfriend!
Why isn’t he talking to you as often? or Why are you looking at excuses not to talk to him?
So you look forward to thanksgiving…but by then you are kind of really into that other guy/he is really into that other girl and you kind of get together over break and ooohhhhh noooo you have a fight about not talking as much anymore and you break up.
It’s called the Turkey Drop.
Exactly what happened to my eldest.
Youngest Daughter: Her boyfriend was the one going off to college. We talked about her sister’s experience. Said the best thing to do was to break up amicably and let him go off and have that college experience as he would be across the country.
When youngest daughter went off to college, she kept seeing her next boyfriend throughout freshman year. At first he would visit her on the weekends, and then that got complicated with staying over in dorms so she would go visit him on weekends. At the end of the year he broke up with her…she was so mad…not at the break up, because she wasted her freshman year on him. I would say she should stay at school to do stuff with friends…she would say she doesn’t have friend because she is never there.
THAT BEING SAID:
it is good you picked your colleges for yourself and not on each other
You don’t have to make a permanent decision now…you can try something and then change if it doesn’t work
Either of you can break up at any time anyway
You may feel the same way that you want to date others
You can still be friends
Holding on too tight won’t keep him with you
Talk to him about what casual dating means…does it mean if he meets someone organically on campus and is interested he dates? or is he downloading tinder and actively trying to hook up?
If you do remain friends and chat…do you/he want to know what the other is doing in the dating atmosphere
I met my spouse freshman year during orientation and we started dating thereafter. Around halloween he was acting weird…it was because his HS girlfriend was coming for a visit.
Whatever you do, have a clear, mutual decision on the status of your relationship. If he says he wants to be able to date others, then you have to accept that.