I agree it’s a personal choice. If finances are not problematic then I would allow the student to decide.
We’re going to visit Clemson during her April break. Still waiting on 4 deferred schools but those are no guarantee. The only reason(and maybe a dumb reason for some)she doesn’t like the idea of going to UConn is because we live so close. We go up there all the time to walk the dogs, get ice cream. Sometimes she’ll go up and do homework at their library. So she likes the school but it’s too familiar and too tempting for her to come home. Yes I can say I’m not going to pick you up every weekend but it’s easier said than done. My oldest D is at U of Delaware which is a few hours away and it’s far enough that I can’t just drive down to get her when she’s having some kind of “crisis”. She needs to figure it out on her own and deal with it. She has matured tremendously being away from home.
All of my D’s accepted out of state schools are pricey, not just Clemson, so she needs to decide if any of them are worth it.
@twogirls
I forgot to answer the loan question. My husband and I would not take out a loan. We have money saved to give my D tuition, room and board to cover the cost of UConn so if she chose Clemson we’ll give her that money to put towards Clemson(or any other OOS school) and she would need to take out a Sallie Mae loan(or some other private loan) plus accept the $5,500 government loan to pay the difference.
My D is just a “regular” student. No honors and no merit from anywhere to decide on. All of her schools have a good engineering program. She doesn’t necessarily need or want an outstanding, totally perfect engineering program if that makes sense? She’ll get out of it what she puts into it wherever she chooses to go. My husband graduated from UConn as an engineering major. Offered a job before graduating. He’s more successful than half his co-workers who went to “top” engineering schools so that’s why I made the comment she’ll get out of it what she puts into it.
Did you co-sign the private loans for your older D, or are they only in her name? Are you willing to help out if she doesn’t earn a high enough salary in early childhood education (note: some states/ districts pay very well…these educators are paid the same as other teachers and make decent starting salaries)? I am not judging…just trying to help with the decision.
Would you co-sign loans for your younger D…or …would the loans only be in her name? Remember…if you co-signed, then these loans become yours if for some reason they can’t pay. Would you be able to help pay if you needed to…without impacting your retirement or ability to cover an emergency?
Again …I don’t mean to intrude and overstep my boundaries, and I am not judging. I am just trying to put all the cards on the table.
This is a very personal decision. On the one hand I think you need to allow your D to attend Clemson or another OOS school …if she wishes to attend…since you extended the same offer to her sister. On the other hand…I don’t want to see any financial hardships (of course this may not be the case at all and I am not making assumptions).
I would investigate what she will get from Clemson that warrants the extra money. and I would make sure the loans could be paid back by you if necessary (if you co-signed).
Things happen. My old boss’s D attended school for engineering and then took a job in another part of the country. After a few weeks she was miserable and they brought her home…she signed a one year lease. She ended up with mild depression and spent some time at home before looking for another job.
I wish you luck and clarity when you visit Clemson!
@twogirls
Yes we co-signed. It was required. And yes we would help pay. We’d never let the kids drown it debt. We just want them to have “some skin in the game”. Make sure they have summer jobs etc. and not think everything is just going to be handed to them. This was particularly important for my oldest to understand because she can get lazy. My youngest is more responsible so if she falls in love with a school but is worried about loans and the money I think I’d have to tell her that we’d never let her struggle with loan debt. Yes she’d have to help out and learn some financial responsibility but I don’t want her “stuck” somewhere because of it.
I think it’s a personal decision and I want to wish you the best! If Clemson is affordable and your D loves it…there is no reason not to attend.
So you are saddling her with 100k debt so that she has “skin in the game”?
I understand the desire to go to college out of state but if the option is no debt upon graduation vs 100K loan with 6% interest for the student, then this seems like a no-brainer to me.
If the choice was between two unequal colleges like UC Berkeley engineering and Middle Tennessee State engineering then I could see where paying the extra 100K might be worth it but not for two equally good engineering colleges like UConn and Clemson that are ranked in the 60s.
IMO, one of the greatest gifts you can give your child is a good college education, debt free to your student.
In my opinion Clemson and UConn are two comparable schools, and the amount of debt that will be necessary to attend Clemson (and UDel, but that’s water under the bridge) is way too much. I would not want more than the federal student loans.
I would not want my kids (and myself) to have this much undergraduate debt, but that’s just me. $100,000 will impact the jobs they can take, where they can live, etc.
@socaldad2002
I think I answered the question already above? We would never let our kids drown in debt. But we can’t say to them go wherever you want, we’ll pay for it no problem. We’ve worked hard to earn our money. We want the kids to work hard, too, and not to expect everything handed to them. We basically offer them “free”
education to stay in state. My oldest chose out of state and for her I encouraged it because we needed space from each other and she needed to grow up. She pays $50 month right now towards her school loans. So she knows she needs to keep a summer job and she also works during her Winter break which is 2 months long. If I told her that we’d pay for her loans once she graduates she’d quit her job in 2 seconds flat. That’s why I say they need skin in the game.
My husband and I both graduated from uconn so of course we’d be thrilled if the kids went there but can’t force it.
I think you are in a predicament because you allowed your older D, an early childhood education major, to attend the University of Delaware …with co-signed loans. Hopefully she will get a well paying teaching job (they do exist) and have affordable monthly payments that allow her to live independently. It’s a large chunk of change for a young person just starting out.
It’s going to be challenging to ask your younger D to remain instate. She may come to this decision on her own, or she may not. On a positive note, if she remains in engineering she will likely make a good salary upon graduation. This much debt can still limit her job and living options, however.
Nobody can force a school (nor should they) but parents can say that they will pay X amount of money and will not co-sign loans. The federal student loans are fine.
You indicated that you can pay these loans back if necessary, which is a good thing.
@twogirls
We won’t ask her to remain in state. It’s her choice. Just want her to be happy. We will give her the exact dollar amount we give our oldest. My youngest is frugal so when decision time gets closer she may stay in state. She once commented that if she doesn’t get in her top 2 schools(one is a rejection and one is deferred) she might as well stay in state because of the money. We’ll see…
You should not tell her where to go…that should be her decision. You can, however, refuse to co-sign loans. Again…that is water under the bridge because you did it already with your older D.
Hopefully the monthly payments will be affordable so that your kids can afford to live on their own.
I’m sure they can manage some small loan payment a month when we’ll cover the rest. My husband did just fine on his own and he had student loans as well.
I agree that they should be able to manage a small loan if you cover the rest. To me that means they will pay closer to the federal student loan limits of about $26,000…and you will pay the balance. That still means about $300 a month per child, but it should be manageable if they budget themselves.
Hopefully you are not too close to retirement and can manage these payments without difficulty.
I wish you the best!
My son is a freshman at Ohio State as a business student. Luckily, he received a decent size merit award that reduces the OOS tuition down to about $18,500. Even though the business school is ranked #15 nationally, if we had to pay full OOS, it would not be worth it to us because we have a pretty good in state flagship option. I think highly of Clemson, but at $38,500 per year just for OOS tuition? No, it’s not worth it.