Over the weekend I saw a friend whose son is getting married early next year. I asked her how the wedding plans were going and she mentioned that he and his fiancee have a Gofundme site asking for contributions for their honeymoon. I was appalled (as is she and her husband.) These are 2 lawyers in their 30s who each come from fairly wealthy families. They do NOT need anyone’s help funding their honeymoon.
When my friend and her husband voiced their concern to their son, he simply replied “Everybody’s doing it” Is this true???
Was it in lieu of gifts? There is some kind of honey do site for the sole purpose of funding honeymoons, it is like a gift registry. I think it is really tacky, but lots of people are using it. I will say my nephew got very takers on his site and in the end, he changed jobs during the engagement and their dream honeymoon wouldn’t have been possible.
It struck eveyone who saw it the wrong way, but I am guessing like many things, it is a generational thing.
Honeymoon registries for example Honeyfund, has become a thing, though they are still controversial among your more and less conservative etiquette sources, but a GoFund Me is meant to solicit donations, is outright asking for money and is extremely inappropriate.
I don’t agree with it and would not support it.
Just because everyone is doing it doesn’t make it right.
Is this to replace a bridal registry?
It seems these days for all types of occasions the host prefers cash.
They don’t want gifts but an experience/travel instead.
It is a different mindset.
I’m under the impression Gofundme is to solicit help for those in need.
I have known coworkers (also attorneys) do it. I have no problem with it. I would absolutely do a honeymoon registry (not GoFundMe, but an actual registry) in lieu of gifts/regular registry, as I would rather have an experience gift instead of any other gift, especially the traditional household items.
They have a bridal registry in addition to this Gofundme request. When I went to Gofundme to look for their request, I was amazed at how many people were asking for people to help fund weddings and honeymoons. I have contributed to Gofundme campaigns when someone needs real help, but this? If they were poor people I’d understand it. But these 2 are anything but poor.
By the way, they come from a culture (same as mine) where they will most certainly gets lots of cash as wedding presents.
No, everyone is NOT doing this.
There is nothing classy about this. But then there was never anything classy about telling people how to give you gifts.
Why is that anybody’s concern who is doing what? Are we forced to do what everybody else is doing? If not, than the only decision making here is to contribute or not. The rest is none of our business, unless they force people to contribute, I do not see how though. I do not throw stones at anybody, if they are doing something totally wrong, they will find their punishment without my participation, I fully believe that it will happen.
It could be that since they both are in their 30’s and working professionals, that they have already acquired a lot of the daily use stuff for a home and don’t have a need for any more household items.
I am thinking these gofundme sites for weddings are coming up because kids have educations loans and maybe can’t afford all that they wish to plan for a wedding. In your situation though you said both families are well settled and money was not an issue.
MiamiDAP, no one is punishing them. No one is stopping them at all (except for the one started for the Bakery that got hit with the $135,000 fine, which was shut down, but I digress).
That doesn’t mean that others cannot comment on the validity of what one does publicly online.
I’d be horrified if my kids were begging for money for a “want”.
"MiamiDAP, no one is punishing them. " - I did not mean that, I meant that at the end, they will be punished.
I really do not care. If anybody care so much, would this make any difference? There are lots of things that each family can care about and make a difference for themselves. If you want to contribute, go ahead, if you do not, then do not, any discussion about it will not make any difference, none, zilch.
I think if it’s supposed to be the wedding present, then it’s just another choice in how one gives–like a honeymoon registry. If it’s supposed to be a separate funding, besides the present, then it’s tacky.
I see a lot of "Gofundme"s that are people asking others to fund them for some cool thing they want to do but can’t afford. I think that’s tacky, too.
yes, they have a right, yes, they can do what they want, and no, it’s not hurting anyone. But that doesn’t mean I can’t have an opinion about it.
Well I am not going to fund anyone’s honeymoon. We recently attended a wedding where the only item on the registry was Amazon gift cards…better than gofundme, but just one step below asking for cash…I am getting too old.
@MiamiDAP I thought this forum was meant for us as parents to discuss and interact on various topics. And I have yet to meet a person on this earth who has never thrown a stone at anybody. Not too mention I think we are just discussing the tackiness of these funds in general and not throwing stones.
