I don’t see what the difference is between giving cash and giving money through a website like honeyfund. I just checked the honeyfund website, which seems very different from gofundme – honeyfund is free, no money seems to be taken from either the couple or their guests (unless you use a credit card).
We recently went to a wedding where we were directed to honeyfund. My husband and I loved the idea that we paid for the couple’s tickets to a baseball game and Sumo wrestling match in Japan. I realize that we didn’t actually buy the tickets, but I felt as though I was giving a gift that matched both my preferences and the couple’s.
The New York Times recently did a story on this – here it is: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/07/26/fashion/weddings/passing-on-wedding-gifts-millennials-prefer-cash.html. Many couples offer both traditional registries for us older folks and the online honeymoon fund (apparently there are home improvement and fertility treatment options, too) for younger guests. The article makes the point that most Millennials have no interest in traditional gifts like expensive place settings, or live in tiny apartments with no space for the gravy boat.
Even Emily Post is OK with this: “When couples already have china, crystal and silver, their wish list changes,” said the etiquette expert Peggy Post, the co-director of the Emily Post Institute in Burlington, Vt. “The nontraditional registries are fine as long as couples suggest and not demand money.”
My daughter recently went to a wedding where there was no gift registry – anywhere – either for items or for cash. She made the assumption that she didn’t need to give a gift. We got into an argument about this – I told her she needs to do something. Unfortunately I can’t force her to give a gift, but it really bothers me that she’s not listening to me. But then romani says many of her guests didn’t give gifts and she didn’t care, so I should probably give it up.
Now, why this couple used gofundme instead of honeyfund or simple registry is beyond me. That’s the part that is tacky.