<p>I’m deciding between Exeter and Andover and just wanted to see if the stereotype that Exonians are competitive and VERY unfriendly was true. Is Exeter as friendly as Andover?</p>
<p>When I had to choose between the schools, one of the deciding factors was how at Andover everyone smiled and said hi, whereas at Exeter people sort of looked at the ground. </p>
<p>Honestly though, you’re going to need an Exie’s opinion on this one. And in their defense I have to say that the Exeter admissions staff was by far the warmest of ANY school I applied to. Just some great people there.</p>
<p>When we took my son to visit Exeter, we were not impressed by warmth and friendliness. Too bad, because I know it’s an excellent school. We were also quite uncomfortable in the interview. I am sure others have had a different experience.</p>
<p>And FWIW…the experience my S and I had was exactly the opposite of xGods_Favoritex!</p>
<p>It was at Andover we came across the heads hung low and Exeter where we were met with warm smiles and people who made a point to make us feel welcome. And it was Andover’s admissions people who were among the warmest of any school we visited. While at Exeter…the interview (for me as a parent) was bordering on nightmarish in terms of how impossible it was to click or draw out a smile from the interviewer.</p>
<p>Funny how that works. You go on a two hour tour and who knows what will happen. It wasn’t the weather…because the Exeter visit was on a cold, rainy morning after a late flight and very late check-in. The Andover visit was on a glorious autumn day after a leisurely drive and time for lunch. My S had interviewed a week earlier, but the Admissions people came out after the tour and had a nice chat. And the people in the office were incredibly nice.</p>
<p>I don’t know how to explain it. Biorhythms? Maybe it was because it was a Friday afternoon and everyone at Andover was dead tired, recharging their batteries so they could enjoy the weekend.</p>
<p>Not only are these things horribly subjective…I think they’re also prone to error and miscalculation. I am quite positive that the visit to Exeter was far more positive for both of us…and yet I am quite uncertain that those impressions, true as they are for us, were accurate representations of what it is that my S would experience at those schools.</p>
<p>That’s one reason to be frank about yourself and who you are and what motivates you and what makes you shrink away… The Admissions people know their schools well enough to know which sorts of applicants will experience exhilarating challenges of conceptual math classes and which will be put off by the needless competition.</p>
<p>It makes me think of two people walking into a bar. A burly biker dude (Harley only, please) in his leathers walks up and head butts both people. The first guy, wearing his Oxford shirt and tie and tasseled loafers…he’s sort of panicked (after he regains consciousness) and wants to get out of the joint as fast as he can because it’s full of cutthroat ne’er-do-wells who make him fear for his life. The second guy, wearing nothing above his waist but some righteous tattoos, a leather vest and a nipple ring…well, he considers that head butt to be a bonding experience. He’s been welcomed with something that’s a step above the red carpet treatment.</p>
<p>And then…there’s the Pee Wee Herman applicant who runs from the bar at first, fears for his life, and then – one Big Shoe Dance later – has helped changed the place and changed his own view of the place.</p>
<p>I think whether Exeter is competitive and unfriendly has at least as much to do with who you are than what Exeter’s like. You will both perceive and (as a student) influence your experience. Even if you don’t fit in right away, you might be the person who adapts well and complements the status quo without being too concerned about not conforming to the “norm” (such that it is).</p>
<p>You’ll do well to answer this question for yourself…and then be very candid with your interviewer about the environments that you think you excel in…and let the process sort things out. If you get admitted to Exeter and you (and your recs) have given the AdCom an honest account of the type of person/learner you are, I’d be very confident that you won’t spend four years there thinking you’re the lone cooperative ray of sunshine amongst a band of heathen infidels.</p>
<p>Oh, I had the same experience, D’yer Maker. I thought Exeter was more friendly but then everyone I knew said Exeter students are so competitive and unfriendly, so I decided to ask some people. Nice answer D’yer. Thanks. ANd a funny metaphor also.lol.</p>
<p>Andover/Exeter…I think the point here, in a nutshell, is that when you interview at Exeter next fall, you need to wear some big shoes and show them that you and Exeter were made for each other. Good luck finding that bike!</p>
<p>tequila!</p>
<p>guys…different days u are going to see different people. If you go on a saturday morning and u see kids with head drop low at exeter…you might be like…exeter sucks…but then u realize…they have freaking saturday CLASS!!!
then you visit andover the following wednesday…hey everyone’s all happy and stuff…it must be more friendly…andover GOD!!! but you also have to realize they have half day classes on wednesday…So it varies day to day</p>
<p>You cannot judge a whole school by one admissions visit, but our Andover and Exeter experiences were different from what is posted above. </p>
<p>At Exeter, we had a dopey tour guide who said hello to nobody, continually kept sizing up my daughter … looking her up and down, showed us popular “makeout and dating spots”, continually told us of “stuff we weren’t supposed to tell you about” … stories of expulsions, etc. and then brought us to one of the messiest dirtiest dorm rooms I have ever seen in my life.
Even my normally messy d was horrified. </p>
<p>We also noticed that people looked at the ground and rarely acknowledged passersby. Inside admissions, the staff was professional but VERY COLD and DISTANT … our interviewer was clearly more interested in talked more about the diversity of other students then she was interested in the merits of my daughter … a local kid. We walked out of there feeling like we had no business wasting their time, because we weren’t from some exotic race or country. Very dissapointing. Even peeking in on some Harkness rooms … we were made to feel un-welcome. </p>
<p>At Andover, things were better. Friendly staff. We had a guide that walked with my daughter, and another guide walked with us. She couldn’t have been more intelligent and courteous. We saw heavily engaged students in the science lab, and a busy library bustling with laptops and printing papers. This school looked like something out of and “Abercrombe & Fitch” advertisement according to my daughter. Very pretty people. Very pretty school. There was a lot more eye to eye contact and engagement between passersby.</p>
<p>Again, you cannot judge a school entirely based on 1 hour walking around school with a student … but Andover was the better of the two on the days we visited.</p>
<p>bearcats - great post!!! how true that is…</p>