I’m applying to some top schools (Harvard, UChicago, etc), and as I’ve been looking at everyone’s extracurriculars, they have all these awards and stuff.
I was raised in a single-parent household and I have four younger siblings, two and up, plus my mom has chronic illness. As such, I have a large family responsibility in terms of watching my siblings and helping with the house (20 hours during school week, up to 55 hours a week in summer). Because of this, I haven’t had much time for other extracurriculars. I do have two leadership positions in clubs, play cello (no awards or anything), and have a job, but that’s about it. Will admissions officers from top universities see the family responsibility as value and significant enough to keep me competitive for admissions, or is there no point trying?
I’m actually in a similar situation to you – I take care of both my parents, though I don’t have any siblings, and I’m applying to similar schools. I made a post a while back about whether or not my responsibilities at home might explain grades that aren’t perfect or a lack of amazing extracurriculars. I don’t know how to link it here, but you can probably find it by clicking on my profile.
The general consensus was that admissions officer respect and recognize the investment of time and energy that goes into taking care of family, and count even that as a meaningful EC. At the same time, it’s prudent to be realistic about your chances – there are so many kids out there with perfect stats, amazing accomplishments, who have accumulated these accomplishments while dealing with some sort of challenge.
The best thing you can do now is convey your story in your application and essays in a way that is uniquely you. How has your experience caring for your family shaped you as a person? How has it affected your aspirations? From what I’ve heard, admissions committees want to admit great people, not great robots. All the accomplishments in the world wouldn’t matter if you didn’t learn anything from them.
They say they do. I can’t put my finger on anything right now, but I am certain I have seen interviews with Bill Fitzsimmons (Harvard) or Jim Nondorf (Chicago) and other admissions deans where they have specifically said that family responsibilities are the kind of personal factors they take into account in holistic review.
Now, lots of people believe it’s more talk than action, and they don’t really give anyone any credit for their work caring for family members, or working in a family business. I believe their intention is sincere, but there are some special risks associated with applicants who have lots of family responsibilities:
First, with most conventional high school “extracurriculars,” there are equivalent opportunities in college to pursue those interests, both inside and outside the classroom. When asking, “What will this candidate contribute to the college?,” admissions officers will find it easy to imagine the college career-path of the drama star or student government leader, etc. It’s less clear how applicants who have been involved in family matters will spend their time in college; they can’t simply keep doing what they were doing before. Second, there’s a question whether there will be issues when the family has to cope with losing a key member who was doing a lot of work, and whether distraction because of those issues will endanger an applicant’s academic success. Third, these elite colleges mainly only admit applicants who come across as extraordinary, as stars. It’s hard to be a “star” caring for siblings or a sick parent – you can be a wonderful person, but it takes more than that.
In planning your applications, you should think of subtle ways to address those issues. Ideally, your teacher recs will do some heavy lifting for you, testifying to your academic success and potential. You may want to speak to this in one of your essays, too. Show what you ave learned from the experience, and how you expect it to dovetail with your academic interests and to shape your life as an adult.
Yes, they do. Make sure your GC has the full story as do your teachers. Use in your essay but wit allusions rather than full focus.
Frankly, it appears to me you have a decent amount of ECs. Are you applying for financial aid? Is your family low income?
The kids I Know who were saddled with home care of a family member had a true dearth of activities. No job, no music lessons, no clubs. They were essential to family support to the point that it was amazing they could do well in school. I do not see this in just this short blurb here
I sat in on a Tufts admissions seminar in which they took the audience through the class selection process, using a 7 sample “applicants” which we had to narrow down to 2. It was eye-opening for me. To sum up “lessons learned” from the event - everything on a resume or application is considered but the kids who stood out to the “committee” tended to have shinier / more impressive / more unusual things on their resume. So (theoretical example) a kid who worked 20 hours a week while getting straight As got some respect but ultimately got rejected in favor of someone who did as well in school but won state awards for their journalism. It was pretty depressing for me because I felt like I had not raised my kids to be award-seekers I had raised them to be hard-working, responsible citizens, good friends and family members first. It seemed to me that “character” gets a raw deal in the college application process in part because it’s so difficult to document. You rarely see someone get national recognition for being a good, responsible person.
Some people here will say to you - apply to all the top schools, you never know. I say - recognize that you are at a disadvantage in elite school admissions if you don’t have impressive ECs. If one or two of the elites are amazing fits for you for reasons OTHER than them being elite and big names, keep them on your list. But don’t waste your time applying to every Ivy / sub-Ivy / whatever on the off chance that one of them will reward the sacrifices you made for your family. Look deeper and find schools you love which value you as an applicant in your entirety; look beyond the name and the acceptance rates. Because you don’t just deserve to be “let in”, you deserve to be appreciated and to go to a school where you will thrive. Neither of my kids ended up applying to those “top schools” and they had wonderful choices for college; they chose schools which fit them and they were happy with their choice. That really is the end goal.
@CaMom13 , what’s to say that the kid winning journalism awards isn’t also a hard-working, responsible person? For every one kid with journalism awards who got accepted, there were ten other hard-working, responsible kids with journalism awards or jobs or other stuff who got rejected. And there is no such school as a sub-Ivy.
To the OP, your resume is going to be full. There is a point in applying and you definitely won’t get in if you don’t apply. Where kids run amiss is thinking that extra curriculars, including family responsibilities, will make up for lower grades and test scores. They won’t. Be sure you have plenty of course rigor and high grades.
Sounds like money is an issue, so affording these schools would likely be a problem anyway. I would suggest, instead of focusing on prestige, focus on scholarships. If you have the stats to get into a prestigious college, you can get a full ride, or at least a tuition scholarship too. That’s a far better deal. There are a few good ones like Univ of ALabama, Univ of AZ, or Univ of KY. There are a lot more, so hop onto Google and look 'em up.
I have high test scores (34 ACT, 5s in all APs) and a 4.0. I’m confident about my stats, it’s just the extracurriculars standing out versus someone else that worries me.
Agree with JHS. It’s not about just having family responsibility.
Many kids inadvertently create the impression they “couldnt” get involved… and can’t leave home, they’re needed so much. It seems like that “explains” no ECs. But there you are, applying to leave home and go to college. While it can explain fewer engagements during hs, it can’t replace.
Colleges say they count family responsibilities and part-time jobs, as much as ECs.
The key is, does anyone in your school know about your situation ? Teachers, Counselor, Principal etc. ? It would weigh more if their letter mentioned your family situation, than you writing about it in your essay. It’s not too late to tell your Counselor this, so they can add to their letter.
IMO, you are doing a great job, balancing taking care of siblings, PT job, and still finding time to play Cello.
Apply widely, and check NPC when you make your college list.
Good luck !!!
If your guidance counselor and teachers don’t have much insight into your family situation, I think it’s time to bring them into the loop. Not that they’ll write a pity party type of recommendation- but if they admire you for your intellect and hard work and creativity, your family obligations are one more thing for them to add to the pile. The guidance counselor can talk about your music, the leadership at school, your family situation, and a part time job in a way that makes it remarkable that you continue to be a top student with a great attitude vs. a sloucher who phones it in out of exhaustion.
Are you a first generation college student-- and if so, does your guidance counselor know that as well?
Not everyone who gets into these colleges wins awards, and I think you sound very impressive just the way you are. I would not bank on any single college-- but if you have a balanced list, you will be a standout somewhere. (Are you looking a notch down from Harvard and Chicago? places where your stats alone are going to make you special- check out Emory, Vanderbilt, Brandeis, Rice, Skidmore? If the money looks like it might work…)
What are your parents willing and able to pay for your college?
What do the NPCs for the colleges say you should be expected to pay? Is your father in the picture to pay? Is he in the picture at all? In order to get financial aid from most top schools (UChicago snd Vanderbilt excepted) you either need to get your father’s financial or a NCP Waiver for each school requiring one in order to get financial aid.
The top schools are very generous with aid, but only for need AS THEY DEFINE it, not you or your parents.
It’s important to get this addressed as soon as possible. You may not be able to afford the schools on your list.
Thank you for the advice! I’m not first generation. I am applying to several target and safety schools according to my stats, as well as my in-state (UW Madison).
UW Madison is a fabulous safety if the numbers work for you.
What do you hope to study? And have you looked at any of the Quaker colleges and the Women’s colleges?
I want to major in Government and study either History or Sociology as a secondary field. I’ve looked at a few women’s colleges, but Wellesley is the only one I plan on applying to.
