<p>(I just want to point out that this is not a ■■■■■, and I guess the question could be a potential SAT prompt.) </p>
<p>I think being self-sufficient is both good and bad. I do get good grades and I have things to be proud of such as my penchant towards computers and robotics. But I think I am so self-sufficient to the point where it may be deleterious to me both socially and academically. I am introverted, somewhat callous (emotionally hardened, I dont feel emotional as others in a certain situation, but I am not totally stoic nor do I have autism), not aboveboard (not open to others), pessimistic, and I lack self-esteem. I dont have many friends, I am comfortable being alone, but I do talk to my teachers and counselor. I do not like my school culture, and I dont feel I can relate to other students in an honors or AP class. Recently in the summer I done a lot of self-studying and I will anticipate doing more. Finally, I tend to underestimate myself a lot.</p>
<p>My high school career has been like this since I have been a freshman, now I am going to be a senior when school starts next week. But when I get to college, I do intend to become more social and open like joining clubs. But I dont know how to socialize or be casual because I take things too seriously. For example when Im in a conversation I dont really know how to sustain it. Yes, I dont go out often, most of my life happens on a computer but in defense I have recently somehow managed to mitigate my video game habits. </p>
<p>Does anyone know how I can be less self-sufficient and perhaps more extrovert? I would appreciate your advice!</p>
<p>Okay, you sound like me in middle school. I hated every second of it.</p>
<p>I think I can help you here. At least, I hope so. Don’t plan to just get more involved in college, you should get experiece with other people now so that when you get there, you will have the skills to relate to people.</p>
<p>Honestly, the best thing you could do here would be to get a job, join some clubs (volunteering clubs seem to be very social at my school), or do something else that would absolutely force you to be social. take it easy, just talk and listen to what people say. If it helps, read the news and/or watch the TV shows that people around you watch and bring them up (of course, with the TV thing don’t go entirely into something you hate because then the people who actually do watch that probably wouldn’t relate to you if you get what I’m saying). </p>
<p>You need to try to get away from the idea that you hate the social scene at your high school. there are always nice kids everywhere that can be great friends to you. The most important thing is just to push yourself to do things, and honestly, just think to yourself that even if it is awkward, it’s good practice for college and the rest of your life.</p>
<p>I am in the same situation. I think college will be better for people like us. The social scene isn’t necesarilly less superficial, but there are more outlets for intelligent conversation. I mean, it sounds elitist, but it really is hard for me to hold a conversation with someone who is only cultured in which scenes from American Pie are the funniest.</p>
<p>I get bored and it leads me to be a tad antisocial.</p>
<p>I understand where you’re coming from, because sometimes the people at school disgust me with the way they view life and the way they are simply throwing away their futures with drugs and totally insignificant priorities. Some people at school also see me as egotistical because I look down on these people, but I don’t really look down on them. I just pity them because they are delusional about what high school is really for; it isnt about becoming popular and trying to get away with as many illegal activities as possible, but about preparing you for real life with knowledge of math, science, and critical thinking skills. </p>
<p>I think college will be a fantastic place for people like us, since we can get to know people in the honors colleges and actually be surrounded by people as smart or smarter than us. I do, however, have many friends in high school, but they are all the smartest and the top of their respective classes.</p>
<p>A problem, however, lies in the fact that you are introverted; personalities cannot change overnight, aka right as you get to college. You sort of need to practice building confidence because other people can tell you have low self-esteem and confidence simply through body language and the fact you keep to yourself. I’d try approaching anyone and starting a conversation over and over until you feel like you are comfortable approaching new people and talking to them, as well as have the ability to get people to be comfortable around you. Even if you do something that creeps them out or something, keep approaching people and trying to hone conversational skills. Also, make sure you walk with a good posture and smile a lot when talking because this subconsiously shows confidence to other people, and this might psychologically help boost your self-esteem.</p>
<p>Being self-motivated is something that will help you go far in the long run. I was always that way and it has just started paying off in college, I have great conversations with professors, I have started research, and got to a do a lot of really cool things.</p>
<p>However, I think something that you are all missing here is that you shouldn’t judge others based on their outward intelligence (what classes they’re in, test scores, etc), it’s much more important to look for friends who are truly compassionate, caring people who share your values. I was friendly with mostly people from my classes, and let me tell you, a lot of people who are considered “smart” in high school are actually small-minded, inconsiderate, pretentious, self-centered human beings who are not nearly as smart as they think they are and they are not the kind of people you really want to be associating with. I think failing to branch out beyond these people in high school made me a lot more stressed out and miserable than I had to be.
Don’t judge a book by it’s cover, you can’t really know what a person will be like when they are still in high school, they haven’t finished developing.</p>
<p>@Poeme I absolutely agree. Most of my friends are average students, but amazing people. Grades, test scores, EC’s, etc. are only one side of a person. Not everyone’s main goal in life is their career. You can be very successful and live a very happy life with a degree from, say, UC Davis or even a Cal State. Or even no degree at all. They may not have as succesful of a career as someone who goes to a tier one (or maybe they will…), but they are truly compassionate toward others, have lasting friendships, and a happier home environment. They just aren’t as stressed out because they choose not to be. They take weekends and evenings off and “smell the roses” so to speak. I don’t see anything wrong with that. I am a “high achieving” student, but I don’t feel the need to look down on someone just because they like popular music or movies or whatever. I mean, honestly, I don’t like to talk about schoolish things except at school. I get enough of that while trying to keep straight A’s, do EC’s, be a leader, etc. With friends, we just want to relax and unwind, not keep talking about the same textbook topics that we will get plenty of in college and further education/careers. I suggest you look for friends you can do the same with. Unless you really enjoy talking about school and other learning related things. Then, by all means, go ahead. </p>
<p>But back to the main point, I agree with the last paragraph of cod4pro’s response entirely. You need to practice opening up and joining social occurences before college. There is nothing wrong with being an introvert, and you may always feel more comfortable with a small group of friends. But from my point of view, life is a whole lot better with at least a few close people who will always have your back.</p>
<p>Thanks everyone for your responses. Sorry I couldn’t respond earlier, I had a myriad of things that kept me out of a computer.</p>
<p>I agree with everyone who said that college will be more preferable to people like me. I don’t necessary need life-long friends but rather people to talk to. I’m introvert now, but I definitely want to learn how to be sociable, I think I really should build up my social skills now while I’m still at HS to prepare for college. There are things I can improve myself like my self-esteem, but as for approaching I do need to start slowly, I could talk to people I know more often whether they are students or adults. I should join some clubs and learn not to be stubborn. I don’t know if people see me as weird, but I’m pretty certain they do (for example I usually run to my classes when Im indoors)</p>
<p>I try my best to talk to other people despite my lack of experience. Ill take it easy and not be judgmental to others.</p>
<p>wow, I don’t recall ever seeing the word aboveboard before. to be honest I don’t really see how I could ever incorporate that into my vocabulary without feeling uneasy.</p>
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<p>I don’t really believe in lack of experience - i believe in lack of comfortableness. Either way though the solution, which you seem to know, is the same.</p>
<p>Sorry you don’t feel you have enough people to talk to :(. </p>