Is it better to go to a competitive private high school or a very good public school?

<p>For years, I was so eager to enroll my DD in a private school in our area. I thought it was a way to ensure that she would get the best education possible and improve her chances of being accepted into a better college. She started there in the 6th grade. She had to work extremely hard to get As in her classes and had to give up a sport that she had been heavily involved in for years to accommodate the many hours of homework. My husband lost his job, and the new job involved a distant move. This happened around spring break when my D was in 9th grade. She then started at a public high school where the kids aren’t used to working nearly as hard as she had. She excelled and is now graduating in the top 10 of her class of 500+. I know she wouldn’t have finished nearly as high at the private school and her GPA would’ve been considerably lower. In hindsight, I believe the move was the best thing that could’ve happened to her. She was so stressed out at the previous school. She learned how to work hard so I believe that was truly valuable. She has enjoyed her high school experience so much. She has taken 10 AP classes and is involved in many ECs. She will be attending Duke in the fall. I don’t believe she would have been accepted there if she was being compared to her previous classmates at the private school. Many of them got into Duke as well, but they were higher academically than my daughter. Having her in the public school was the best thing that could’ve happened!</p>

<p>Oh, and we saved a boatload of money!!</p>

<p>Sounds like this played out well for your daughter - and saving a boatload of money is a great thing! I often think a really good student can excel just about anywhere as long as they are comfortable with the setting. One choice - public or private - can never be ALWAYS the best choice for everyone.</p>

<p>We have 3 kids - 2 graduated public and have excelled on ACT testing, college and being career ready. #3 is finishing junior year at a private and is doing well there as well. Not finished with the college process yet for this one so we’ll see!</p>

<p>One thing I thought would happen at private school is that I thought we would get “more/better” college guidance. This has not been true. It was something toted around here by private schools, but indeed has not panned out IMO. Luckily, we know the process well and aren’t looking for tons of assistance.</p>

<p>There are no public schools out there (maybe rural area, I am not familiar) that would have most classes with about 15 kids or less in class. D’s HS had very few AP classes. She ended up being hired in college as Supplemental Instructor by Chemistry prof. She tutored great number of kids who have had AP Chemistry (5 on exam). Her school did not call her class AP while teaching at the higher level than AP. She never had anything below 100%+ in Chemistry class after having Regular Chemistry in HS. She actually did not have any B in college atributing this fact not only to the academic level at her private HS, but also to the working habits that she has developed while in HS. She had to work very hard and while everybody has to adjust to higher academic levels at college, she felt that her adjustment was not as difficult as many others.
The original reason why we have decide to send D. to private HS and not to public one was that we wanted to avoid a social shock coming from the middle school with 4 kids in her class. Her HS class had 33 kids, not 330. Every child was feeling being very special, being treated as an individual with lots and lots of attention from every teacher. That made a huge difference, not only academically but also in personal development and growth.</p>

<p>I went to private schools most of my life. Graduated from a place called Cranbrook - look it up, amazingly beautiful special place. Our kids went to public school around Boston and received as good an education. Our public schools are not the usual. I know the comparison is across generations but it’s all I have.</p>

<p>Private schools like to tout themselves as gateways to a certain class of schools. That used to be more true. Now with the vast numbers of applications and the drive to take foreign students - thus increasing the prestige reach of the school and its potential donor pool - unless you’re a multiple legacy and/or big donor family, it’s not much. I interviewed for an Ivy school for a number of years and saw lots of highly qualified private school kids turned down because times have changed. Back when I got in, really high test scores were rare so I stood out along with what then was geographic diversity. </p>

<p>I don’t know about social worlds because both have their disadvantages. Where I grew up, my private schools were actually more diverse than the local schools - which says something. But here? No comparison. The public school had every kind of diversity with kids from around the world. Again, that’s not usual but it’s one reason we live here. </p>

<p>As for preparation, one kid found college much easier and the other found it similar at most in difficulty. </p>

<p>I know someone who sent their child to Philips Academy at 30+ K a year to end up at a local college that he very easily could have gotten into had he gone to our public regional high school. The parents used to think he was above the public school (which bye the way is in the top 25 in our state). So had they save their 120K plus money he’d be in the same spot he is in. Actually may have had a better advantage at our public high school. He is NOT at an IVY…</p>

<p>…I did not realize that the discussion is geared towards where they get accepted. D. did not care to apply to any Ivy / Elite UG at all. She graduated #1 from her private HS and said that she will do fine everywhere. She attended the public state UG that gave her full tuition Merit award and accepted her to the program that had only 10 spots. She had no problem getting accepted to several Medical schools afterwards, including top 20s and currently is attending one of them where, again, she is on the same academic footing as her classmates many of whom graduated from Ivy’s and other Elite colleges. She strongly believes that one should attend HS, UG, Graduate school that fits the person the best. Personal match and hard working ethic are the key to success, not prestige. However, if person strongly feels that she belong in private HS and Ivy UG, this is the way to go.<br>
On the other note, my GrandD is attending very competitive public HS in NYC. Her class has 900 kids. Very many in this very large public HS are planning to attend Ivy’s. </p>

<p>"As for preparation, one kid found college much easier and the other found it similar at most in difficulty. "

  • Major? </p>

<p>My 3 kids were fortunate to attend one of the most academically competitive independent schools, not one of the boarding schools. They got a fabulous education and one HUGE benefit that we noticed was that the faculty did not have to waste time “teaching to the test.” In my state, public schools spend an inordinate amount of time prepping the kids for state testing. The independent school was not beholden to that. The classes were absolutely smaller than at the public schools (and we do have some outstanding public schools in our area) and the students were using college level textbooks for their classes. They did have massive amounts of homework, not busy-work, but still managed to be heavily involved in EC’s. I guess they sacrificed sleep to some extent. This independent school helped them learn how to write really well and they were able to start highly selective colleges not being worried that they’d be overwhelmed by the level and quantity of work. Did we spend a “boatload” of money to send them there? Yes, but that was the best choice for our kids.</p>

<p>I think whichever decision we made for our kids, it was the right decision and we can support and justify it. </p>

<p>This topic comes up all the time on CC, at least in all my years on this site. I believe that the choice of high school, and that is if you even have a choice in the first place, should be about a good experience for your kids, and not about which high school might increase the student’s odds at getting into a “better” college. I really believe a strong candidate will get into college based on who they are and what they have accomplished and not so much what high school they attended. If a private high school is a better fit or experience for your kid, great, but I would not pick it to better the “odds.” </p>

<p>We did not pick our kids’ high school. The public school was the only option available as we lived in a rural area and we were not going to send our kids to boarding schools (could not afford and would want the kids to grow up at home). My assumption is that most parents on this site would not want their kids to go to our rural public high school. About 2/3’s of the students go onto college. At the time, there was only one or two AP classes, though the Honors classes were very rigorous. The classes were pretty small. </p>

<p>In terms of college admissions, my oldest child did go to an Ivy (not that that is everything of course!) for undergrad. She won the highest awards in her college department at graduation and had no trouble keeping up with all the prep school kids at her college. She got into top schools (Ivy, etc.) in her two rounds of graduate school, winning fellowships, etc. and landed her dream job when done school. I don’t have any regrets about her attending public high school, and surely not in terms of her college admissions’ success, though I’m sure she may have liked what some private high schools would have been like in terms of an experience. My youngest child, who also went to our rural public high school, got into her first choice college, a highly competitive performing arts program (and this without a performing arts high school in our state or even drama classes at our high school) and won a significant scholarship at the college and was selected to an elite Honors program upon entrance. After graduating, she won significant awards not only at college, but on a national level in her field. She has worked in her competitive field since graduating college at age 20 and at a very high level, including national recognition. </p>

<p>While my kids grew up on a dirt road in the mountains in a rural area and went to a ho-hum public high school (in most people’s eyes), I would say both have been quite successful not only in college, but in their careers thus far. So, I think it is more about the person than where they went to high school. That said, I think “fit” is important in one’s education and so making choices around that, rather than “if he/she goes to X school, than Y or Z is more likely to happen” reasons does make good sense. </p>

<p>When we thought of educating our kids we wanted them around other kids whose goal it was to attend college, with small class sizes, and teachers who were there because they enjoyed teaching, not counting down the days until retirement. College wasn’t really in the thought process beyond - you will go to college. Their first private school always stressed their goal was not to get the kids into the best schools, but the best school for them. </p>

<p>Not to mention the private schools my kids attended were actually way more diverse than the local public schools because they recruited around for diversity and brought in international students and had a really interesting mix of kids. That doesn’t really exist in my particular area. </p>

<p>We paid for that experience. One is in college the other will start in the fall. I’m the prestige isn’t blowing anyone away but they found what fits them. They’re both confident, well rounded and ready to fly. Not sure if that would have happened if I put them in our local schools.</p>

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<p>If you mean “four year college” when you write “About 2/3’s of the students go onto college”, then that is likely well above average for the US, meaning that your small rural high school is doing a good job relative to most high schools in the US.</p>