Is it ever right to not date someone because of their religion or race?

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#1

<p>I was just looking through the "Dream date" thread, and a lot of the preferences seemed to deal with race/ethnicity and religion. Many people were concerned with the latter, which surprised me. Kids are still religious today, much to my surprise. </p>

<p>Ever have an instance where you went in your head, "I kind of lke him/her, but I'm not going to go out with him/her because he's/she's a ________". Did you feel disgusted at yourself afterwards? Perhaps deeply reflective? Or did you try and justify such discrimination?</p>

<p>We all seem to talk about peace and understanding, but is it all talk?</p>

#2

<p>I kind of lke him/her, but I'm not going to go out with him/her because he's/she's a ________".</p>

<p>Sometimes the blank is filled by the words</p>

<p>bigot
racist
homophobic</p>

<p>However, much of the reason as to why many care about religion when picking a mate is because of the influence so their parents. As much as I hate to admit it, If I dated a black girl, my parents would freak out. (I'm Asian.) Same thing to Muslims, or any type of people my parents do not know a lot about. Ignorance is stupidty.</p>

<p>Many religions impose relations on the same religion. So what can we say? </p>

<p>In the end, parents may impose religions which also may impose many other rules. With 2 large influencing factors, is it any wonder why many preferences are based on a race and culture divide?</p>

#3

<p>I in no way feel disgusted by having certain preferences, whether they are racial or religious or intelligence or whatever. I am attracted to a specific type of person, I have a thing for blue eyes. </p>

<p>I would never consider marrying someone or seriously dating someone who was very religious. That is just not something I am interested in dealing with. I myself am not very religious and would not want that conflict. So I avoid it. I am more comfortable with people like myself and therefore tend to date them.</p>

#4

<p>its sometimes kind of a preference thing. i mean u cant say its ONLY personality that u r looking for.. because looks, age, GENDER, etc can matter also. </p>

<p>for example, in prefering a guy more than a girl as a "signifiant other", i do not feel disgusted with myself. it is considered 'normal' for me to want a guy because, alas, i am a girl</p>

<p>for me personally, im pretty much only limited by what scarletleavy said in the end (i dont really want to date someone who is too religious... but of course there could be exceptions)</p>

<p>i hope that made sense lol</p>

#5

<p>I think this is one of those cases where you should not at all feel bad about choosing a particular type of person, no matter what the characteristic. Treating others fairly and being attracted to them is two entirely different things. Although it is discrimination, it is necessary just as choosing anything in life is, from the food you eat to the clothes you buy. Any choice for one thing necessarily discriminates against another option. A choice like this though is even more important because it could lead to what values your family cultivates and to how your children are raised. All one can do is use pure personal preference.</p>

#6

<p>Religious conflicts in a marriage, where both are active in very different religions can be devastating. Speaking from seeing alot of family members struggling with it. The other reason religion seems to be a factor is that religions are often a part of your entire character, and the "birds of feather flock together" is in full force.</p>

#7

<p>I don't really have any particular preference for any type of people, but if others do, fine for them. they've gotta single out people somehow.. because in the end they won't be choosing very many mates. :) people should still be polite and friendly to everyone tho.</p>

#8

<p>I think certain relgions qualify as character flaws. I would find someone committed to a doctrine that is profoundly antagonistic/bigoted/irrational to be unbearable. Of course, this is a character flaw that is quite fixable, so if someone seemed likely to abandon their delusions I'd give them a chance.</p>

#9

<p>Not dating someone solely because of their race strikes me as irrational if it's inspired by bigotry; however, if you go for looks above personality/intellect, it's entirely possible that an asian chick wouldn't find black guys hot - and calling THAT bigotry seems a bit off as well.</p>

<p>Religion, on the other hand, is a much more closely tied to personality. I would likely go absolutely mad with anyone who wasn't an atheist.</p>

#10

<p>I think the more restrictions you impose on yourself, the less likely you are to find happiness...</p>

#11

<p>
[quote]
Not dating someone solely because of their race strikes me as irrational if it's inspired by bigotry; however, if you go for looks above personality/intellect, it's entirely possible that an asian chick wouldn't find black guys hot - and calling THAT bigotry seems a bit off as well.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Racism and preferences for certain looks are more often than not intertwined, IMHO. A person who says they won't date blacks because they just don't like dark skin colour must've gotten that preference somewhere. Or saying you like specific eye/hair colours also excludes many people from different races. That's why I cringe when people answer those hair/eyes questions, because whenever the blonde/blue response comes up, I can't help but think of the Aryan Myth.</p>

#12

<p>Just because I prefer green over brown eyes doesn't mean I won't date someone with brown eyes. I prefer one over the other- but I am in no way only going to date someone who's what I "prefer". </p>

<p>Religion is different for me- it's a huge part of my morals/values system and it's not something physical</p>

#13

<p>
[quote]
Just because I prefer green over brown eyes doesn't mean I won't date someone with brown eyes. I prefer one over the other- but I am in no way only going to date someone who's what I "prefer".

[/quote]
</p>

<p>You're right, there's a huge gap between "I prefer" and "I need".</p>

#14

<p>Why is it so wrong to "prefer" certain types over others. I don't think it is necessarily anything racist, but a simple preference, probably aesthetic.</p>

#15

<p>I think that we could at least invent a religion that would be so detestable that no respectable person would want to date a proponent. </p>

<p>E.g., the first church of animal sex.</p>

<p>But what about race? If I don't want to date, say, pygmies - does that make me a racist? No exceptions?</p>

<p>What about Feringi?</p>

<p>beprepn</p>

#16

<p>No that doesn't make you a racist.</p>

#17

<p>I agree completely between the difference between treating others fairly and having preferences. </p>

<p>For example, although I am Asian by race, I would never (for the most part) date a "typical" Asian guy; that's because our morals/views are probably very different. "Probably" being the key word, considering I'm more comfortable around and more similar to non-religious whites, despite my facial features.</p>

<p>And I do admit, my parents influence me--a lot. They really don't mind the race or religion, but looks/social status/job definitely DEFINITELY makes the person worthy or unworthy.</p>

#18

<p>I dont think it would be immoral or wrong, you have no obligation to date somebody of a particular race. On the contrary, I think you would have an obligation to date only somebody you truly like, after all, you are doing the other person a disservice if you express interest in them which isnt genuine.</p>

#19

<p>I couldn't seriously date someone that was very religious, because if we got married, I wouldn't want my kids to be raised that way. On the other hand, I am only 16...and I am currently "testing the water". I still have a hard time with super religious guys, because when I try and make a move...he gets all holy on me. I also prefer certain races. I am white, but I don't care for white guys as much as I like Spanish guys, and I really have no interest in Asian guys. That doesn't mean that I would never date an Asian guy, because there are some hot ones...but I have a higher tolerance for Hispanics. Race is just a physical attraction, but religion is a personality thing.</p>

#20

<p>
[quote]
Why is it so wrong to "prefer" certain types over others. I don't think it is necessarily anything racist, but a simple preference, probably aesthetic.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>But it's important to try and discover WHY we may prefer certain things. </p>

<p>During times of war, all the propaganda usually portrayed the enemy side as hideous and ugly. How were blacks characterized? What about the Asians (the Yellow Peril)? Or how about those Jews? I'm just trying to point out the correlation between racism and aesthetics, and how they're not so innocently separated.</p>

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