Per OP, both parents are working hard for long hours to make this college happen for kid and maybe (just speculating here), it feels to OP as though they are working harder than their student.
To me it reads as if there may be a gap between how hard your son tells you he is working (classes are easy, doing well socially) in contrast to missing assignents or incompletes regardless of the final grade. Put together it sounds as though the student has the time to work with professors or the EF coach on developing skills and better habits but is not engaged in that process.
Sure, student might also struggle at other colleges, but could be struggling at less cost to the family.
ETA: I would not rule out a transfer to a more affordable school or expecting my kid to add work hours/pay part of their own way. Some students do better with part-time work to help organize their days.